# Guys: How accurately can you describe getting hit in the testicles? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 18, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300 "2006-05-18T18:57:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2006, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/41 "2006-05-20T14:32:08Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Oh lord. I think I need to sit down more…{puts head between legs, tries to breathe} > > I once whacked my knee in a kinda similar way, **ana** - it was like I was trying to remove my kneecap with the side of my desk. I greyed out for a while (I’m a fainter, so that’s what I do with injuries) with the pain of it. If that’s at all similar to a groin injury, you guys all have my deepest, sincerest sympathy. Yes! There’s the occasional “grey out!” By jove, I think these ladies are getting it! ---
**Author:** ![Lakai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lakai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lakai)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/42 "2006-05-20T18:48:54Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > I’m a woman, of course, so I can’t possibly know… but that time a few weeks ago when I was at the Pacific Science Center and I tried to get out of the simulator, and I rammed by knee very, very hard into a chunk of metal as I was exiting… the pain exploded immediately, and felt hot and warm and spreading even though I wasn’t bleeding at all, I saw stars, felt sick and dizzy, tears sprung to my eyes and thankfully I was still sitting down, else I’d have certainly fallen, I gasped and couldn’t speak, because it felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. Ever so slowly, my husband helped me hobble to a bench, where all I could do was groan and whimper. The pain even made my chest feel tight.I wanted to just throw my head back and really howl, but I couldn’t. Not just because we were in a public place, but I just didn’t have the power left in me. > > When I described this to my husband, he thought for a moment, then said, “That’s probably the closest you could ever feel to a man getting hit in the nuts.” > > So now when I see a man on tv getting hit in the junk, I don’t laugh. Instead, I wince and touch my knee in some vague sort of empathy. > > If that’s how it feels, then, to quote my husband, “That ain’t _no_ joke.” Add nausea to all that pain and you have a pretty accurate description. ---
**Author:** ![Phantom\_Dennis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/51bf81/32.png) [@Phantom\_Dennis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phantom_Dennis)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2006, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/43 "2006-05-21T01:00:33Z")
Hey! I just smacked myself in the balls with the handle of a shovel this morning, and since the experience is fresh in my mind, I feel qualified to give an accurate description. The pain is mostly dull but it has an unsettling “nervey” quality to it, like hitting your funnybone. It radiates up from the testicals into the hips and lower torso. As others have mentioned, it can trigger nausea and shortness of breath. It can be very debilitating for several minutes/hours, depending on how hard you’re hit. I had to sit and recover for about five minutes before I could go back to work. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2006, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/44 "2006-05-22T14:01:38Z")
Real-life anecdote: Woman (with big rack) to police: THat’s right, he beat me up! Police: Did you really beat her up? Friend of HH: Yeah, (drunkenly) I guess I did. Police: Turn around, put both hands behind your back. Woman: See! You deserved that kick in the groin. Police (to WWBR): Did you really do that? Woman: Yes! (triumphantly) Police (after letting man go, and lecturing WWBR): Ma’am, turn around put both hands behind your back. (Drives off with female prisoner) ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2006, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/45 "2006-05-22T14:08:24Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Real-life anecdote: > Woman (with big rack) to police: THat’s right, he beat me up! > Police: Did you really beat her up? > Friend of HH: Yeah, (drunkenly) I guess I did. > Police: Turn around, put both hands behind your back. > Woman: See! You deserved that kick in the groin. > Police (to WWBR): Did you really do that? > Woman: Yes! (triumphantly) > Police (after letting man go, and lecturing WWBR): Ma’am, turn around put both hands behind your back. (Drives off with female prisoner) this post hilights that if a cop will let a guy go free instead of hauling him off to jail inorder to impress a WWBR, it isn’t even CLOSE to being a laughing matter. hh ---
**Author:** ![AcQuaintance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AcQuaintance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AcQuaintance)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2006, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/46 "2006-05-22T14:25:36Z")
I can recall only one time when I desperately needed to be left alone for a good 4 hours after an unrelenting female kick-attack on my privates. I had done a bad thing, as bad a thing as you can do in any relationship, really - i fooled around on her. I knew there would be consequences when the guilt I was feeling was really to much to keep to myself, so when I told her, I was expecting a smack. Literally, I had both hands at the ready, waiting for the moment when I’d have to deflect an open-palmed haymaker. Instead, her reaction was nothing like what I’d predicted. She did the most stunningly beautiful leg-wind-up that I’ve ever witnessed and unleashed a 4-kick combo right on my dick region. At first, I couldn’t breathe. Then, I remember reaching to grab for a chair, a counter, the bed - anything solid and upright that could hold my body weight… which of course meant there was nothing within reach… like usual in an emergency. I fell, one arm flailing, the other engaged in forming a one-handed testicle-protection-barrier and landed on the ground hard enough that I blacked out from a combination of pure shock and lack of air. Prior to the blackout, though… that was honestly the worst pain of my entire life, and I wouldn’t wish it upon any men on this board. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2006, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/47 "2006-05-22T15:12:26Z")
Some of the other posters have done a good job describing from my experience: There is the sensation of the initial impact (and yes, we ALWAYS know when it’s coming, we just can almost never intervene in time), then an even worse sensation… the loss of sensation. The instinctive knowledge that it’s so bad your nervous system just cut off the circuitbreakers to protect you from the pain. Then, once the loss-of-sensation has been around for a short time, an even WORSE feeling… the return of sensation. You know the scene in Saving Private Ryan where he lost his hearing due to shell-shock, and then the sound all sorta flowed back to him? Just like that. But with raw pain. And the rising feeling of nausea, and the fact that you can feel a blow to the nuts in your kidneys, and in every organ in a direct path between your kidneys and your twins. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2006, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/48 "2006-05-22T15:23:26Z")
I’m not an owner/operator of testicles, but I’ve been told it feels like you got hot pokers plunged into your eyes…except your eyes are in your pants. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2006, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/49 "2006-05-22T17:03:59Z")
> [@AcQuaintance](#): > > I can recall only one time when I desperately needed to be left alone for a good 4 hours after an unrelenting female kick-attack on my privates. > > I had done a bad thing, as bad a thing as you can do in any relationship, really - i fooled around on her. I knew there would be consequences when the guilt I was feeling was really to much to keep to myself, so when I told her, I was expecting a smack. Literally, I had both hands at the ready, waiting for the moment when I’d have to deflect an open-palmed haymaker. > > Instead, her reaction was nothing like what I’d predicted. She did the most stunningly beautiful leg-wind-up that I’ve ever witnessed and unleashed a 4-kick combo right on my dick region.\ Let me just say that not all women think that it’s okay to hit a man, and it’s _definitely_ not okay to kick a man in the groin unless he’s about to do violent harm to said woman or someone else. I think it’s time to get the message out that there **aren’t** two sets of rules when it comes to physical violence; if it’s wrong when a man does it, it’s wrong when a woman does it. ---
**Author:** ![jsc1953](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jsc1953](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jsc1953)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2006, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/50 "2006-05-22T23:10:49Z")
I attended a football game once where, after a running play, the running back failed to get up, and lay writhing on the ground. Trainers rushed to his side while the crowd hushed, hoping it wasn’t some bad knee damage. After a few moments the guy seated next to me predicted what was going to happen next: the player was helped to a seated position; then the trainers lifted him up by his armpits a few inches, then dropped him on his butt. Player got up and jogged off the field. “Hit to the goodies”, said my neighbor. Apparently that lift - drop procedure works wonders. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2006, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/51 "2006-05-22T23:28:56Z")
Explosively painful, then immediately debilitating, then nauseating and aching. I was fourteen the last time I got whacked in the 'nads. Never again. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/52 "2006-05-23T20:33:51Z")
The key is the long aftermath, starting with curled up unable to breathe and gradually descending to intense aching. Honestly, I’ve never had an experience in the repro region that was as sharply painful as when the dentist went into my tooth before the novacaine took effect, or even when the physical therapist wanted to increase the range of motion in my knee by pushing it through some of the scar tissue (he warned me, and stopped right when he needed to, so this isn’t a complaint). Both of those were ‘if this doesn’t stop in another quarter to half second I will be screaming and need to be restrained’ level. But they went away as soon as the insult stopped. With a kick right to the boys, there’s less of the sharp pain, but a lot longer recovery. ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2006, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/53 "2006-05-23T23:53:50Z")
Getting kicked in the balls will make you see God. And he’s laughing at you. ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/54 "2006-05-24T05:31:32Z")
I remember a different thread talking about menstrual cramps. One person mentioned a friend who had cramps so bad that she passed out in public. My thought was, "_There’s_ a woman who has some idea what it feels like to be kicked in the balls. The best analogy I could come up with for a girlfriend who asked me about it was: imagine several people digging around with spoons in your lower abdomen after someone punched you in the solar plexus. It eventually fades to a throbbing ache that takes a looooong time to go away. You _will_ be walking like John Wayne after a long stint in the saddle for the better part of an hour afterward. When I was about 15, my younger sister smacked my lap because I said something mean to her as we were getting ready to get out of the car. It was only an indirect shot, a shockwave if you will, and I was not able to get up for several minutes. I’ll put in another vote for America’s Most Painful Home Videos not being funny. There’s at least one instance I read of a guy dying from getting hit in the balls. He didn’t go to the hospital for treatment because he was embarrassed about being laid low by his wife. She’d hit him hard enough to rupture something. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300/55 "2006-05-24T13:28:10Z")
> [@jsc1953](#): > > “Hit to the goodies”, said my neighbor. Apparently that lift - drop procedure works wonders. It does, indeed. I have been practicing Taekwondo for many years, and have had my share of nad shots, mostly from beginning sparring students. Cups protect you from physical damage, but they don’t do much for stopping the pain. We learn very quickly to stand up ASAP, then raise up on the balls of our feet and drop back down hard on the heels. It’s amazing how quickly that relieves the pain. And the longest half-second in a man’s life comes right after the impact to the nads. You have just enough time to think, “Oh, shit, that’s gonna hurt”, and then WHAM! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-accurately-can-you-describe-getting-hit-in-the-testicles/357300.md?page=2)