# Guys: How often does a lap dance end in orgasm? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 12, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596 "2008-10-12T17:08:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/1 "2008-10-12T17:08:35Z")
I read a book a while back in which a woman dressed up in a convincing-enough male persona that she was able to infiltrate many male-only bastions of society. One of these was a strip club, and she mentioned that the goal of lap dances was for the guy to have an orgasm. I didn’t realize there were legions of guys leaving these places with sticky pants, and I brought it up to my husband, whose reaction was “gross.” Then again, he loathes strip clubs and hasn’t been to one since his own bachelor party (his best friend’s bachelor party, a year later, involved college football and poker instead of strippers), but I figure it happens more often than not nonetheless. After reading [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=487482), I figured I’d ask the question here and find out how often it happens. It doesn’t bother me in the context of my own relationship, because I am much more bothered by emotional infidelity than physical, and don’t feel the need to worry much about either with my husband, but I’m wondering how many women think a lap dance is just a little bit of bump and grind when actually it’s quite a bit more. So, what really goes on in the strip clubs? ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/2 "2008-10-12T17:23:59Z")
Years ago when I was in the military I often went to strip clubs, never had an orgasm or even heard of anybody having one with one exception, this 18 year old kid who had never had a girlfriend or any relationship with a woman, popped his cork when a dancer sat on his lap to discuss the fee for a lap dance. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/3 "2008-10-12T17:35:23Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > One of these was a strip club, and she mentioned that the goal of lap dances was for the guy to have an orgasm. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that the goal of the lap dances is for strippers to make money. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/4 "2008-10-12T17:36:37Z")
If a guy can have a wet dream, why not this? Purely psychological stimulation alone can provoke an orgasm. As for incidence of it happening in strip clubs, I got nothing. I don’t go to them but even if I did, I would think the embarrassment and self-consciousness would override the erotic stimulation. If you’re linking to Doperchic’s thread, that was in a private dance situation…still, nah, not me. If it happened by accident, that would be the end of the evening for sure; I’d be “soiled.” :eek: Q-What’s the lightest thing in the world? A-A penis. You can lift it with just a thought. ~Old joke ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/5 "2008-10-12T17:43:16Z")
I can’t imagine getting one only from a lapdance unless it was from a girlfriend or someone I was really into. Some random person wouldn’t really get me that excited. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/6 "2008-10-12T17:44:41Z")
I’d tell you if I’d ever had one! I’d probably feel two emotions - Guilt and Awkwardness. The arousal would be unavoidable, but that would only add to the guilt and awkwardnes. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/7 "2008-10-12T17:45:47Z")
Highly skeptical that a lap dance could lead to orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/8 "2008-10-12T17:52:16Z")
That a guy would actually blow his load with nipple sucking and grinding alone speaks to some level of premature ejaculation issues or a hair trigger adolescent. I have even heard of men coming to orgasm with no direct touching whatsoever. It’s unusual, but it happens. Not to be too graphic, but substantial seminal fluid leakage and wet pants due to stimulation is much, much easier to believe. I’m not sure strippers are making that fine a distinction re “wet pantsing” a man due to a man soaking his underwear with pre-cum vs orgasming. ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/9 "2008-10-12T18:36:22Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > I’d tell you if I’d ever had one! I’d probably feel two emotions - Guilt and Awkwardness. The arousal would be unavoidable, but that would only add to the guilt and awkwardnes. You’ve never had an orgasm? :eek: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/10 "2008-10-12T18:40:23Z")
Gross. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/11 "2008-10-12T18:53:49Z")
> [@bufftabby](#): > > You’ve never had an orgasm? :eek: > 😉 Nope, twenty nine years old. What is this _orgasm_ thing anyway. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/12 "2008-10-12T19:42:27Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > what is this orgasm anyway? It’s like the pleasures of receiving a back rub, eating a hot fudge sundae, and sneezing, all at once. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/13 "2008-10-12T19:58:35Z")
You know after the “Ask me about gay bathroom sex” thread (a la Sen. Craig), I’ve come to the conclusion that some men have no shame as it relates to their penises. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/14 "2008-10-12T20:14:28Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > You know after the “Ask me about gay bathroom sex” thread (a la Sen. Craig), I’ve come to the conclusion that some men have no shame as it relates to their penises. …as opposed to the discreet “What the heck is this stuff coming out of my vagina?” menstruation threads. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/15 "2008-10-12T21:14:26Z")
Back when I use to go I don’t recall clubs having lap dances. About the most contact back then was slipping a dollar bill into a g-string and feeling her butt briefly or getting your face buried in the girl’s breasts. Especially with the old rolled up bill in your mouth way of tipping. Lap dances seem to have come along after I was married. Even my bachelor party at a go-go place was nothing more than I already described. Good thing too as my soon to be BIL & FIL were there. BTW: the juice clubs, which had full nudity, had no contact at all. In San Diego the club Pacers had topless but no contact. Tipping was only allowed when their tops were on. There was one time in Thailand (I was in the Navy) where I got what I guess would count as a lap dance. The girl was in my lap, hugging and squirming on my penis with only my Levis in between. She was doing her best to convince me to go to the back with her and I could see where 15-20 minutes of what she was doing would have resulted in sticky pants. I don’t think it would have been a case of premature ejaculation. I would equate it to be masturbated. How long do lap dances last? Jim (Did I really just post that?) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/16 "2008-10-12T21:20:16Z")
My question is, would you really need to dress up as a guy in order to go to a strip club and observe lap dances? I’ve been, and I didn’t need an ace bandage and a banana before they let me in. ---
**Author:** ![Huerta88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/82dd89/32.png) [@Huerta88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Huerta88)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/17 "2008-10-12T21:40:13Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > My question is, would you really need to dress up as a guy in order to go to a strip club and observe lap dances? I’ve been, and I didn’t need an ace bandage and a banana before they let me in. You would need to do it if you wanted to get a book deal out of it. Here I think is the book the OP references: > **[Amazon.com: Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey into Manhood and Back Again:...](https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Journey-Manhood/dp/0670034665)** > > Amazon.com: Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey into Manhood and Back Again: 9780670034666: Vincent, Norah: Books I dunno, maybe she would argue that strippers behave differently when they know there are female patrons in the club. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/18 "2008-10-12T21:47:10Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > It’s like the pleasures of receiving a back rub, eating a hot fudge sundae, and sneezing, all at once. 😃 But very slightly less messy. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/19 "2008-10-12T21:55:37Z")
It happens, but it generally takes more than one song and the stripper has to generally be pretty aggressive. Like practically giving you and hand job through your trousers aggressive. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/20 "2008-10-12T21:55:43Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > How long do lap dances last? > > Jim (Did I really just post that?) One song. Strippers are in no way shape or form trying to get you off during a lap dance. Now some of them may do “extras” like a prostitute would but thats not really a lap dance anymore. The guy in the other thread had a stripper grinding on his crotch for 20 mins, thats not a lap dance thats a happy ending and im sure it cost a lot more than a regular lap dance would have. Most guys will never get off from a lap dance, because the girls aren’t really trying to get you off. They will sit on your lap for a little while, straddle you, maybe dance in front of you while leaning over you, or squirm on the ground in front of you, but they are most certainly not grinding away on your dick trying to get you off. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596.md?page=2)