# Guys: How often does a lap dance end in orgasm? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 12, 2008, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596 "2008-10-12T17:08:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/61 "2010-10-15T14:42:15Z")
Do zombies have orgasms, too? ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/62 "2010-10-15T15:25:50Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Do zombies have orgasms, too? Well, of course they do, silly. They come their BRAAAAIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS out. ---
**Author:** ![diku](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@diku](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diku)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/63 "2010-10-15T19:32:48Z")
Do they give lapdances? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/64 "2010-10-15T19:39:30Z")
They haven’t got laps. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/65 "2010-10-15T20:59:56Z")
> [@StickyPants](#): > > Sorry to bring this thread back from the dead, but in reading this thread I see some of the most adorably innocent (or clueless) posts. > > I am going to give you the TRUTH about strip clubs and orgasms. Thanks for sharing your personal experiences. But keep in mind that your personal experiences are not necessarily universal. ---
**Author:** ![Kelby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a587f6/32.png) [@Kelby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelby)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/66 "2010-10-15T21:20:36Z")
I have several friends, both married and not, who enjoy going to high-end strip clubs once or twice a year and participating in the lap dance option. I know this because the subject is given high priority and is almost immediately brought up when the group is together over beers or golf. Now admittedly I may be somewhat of a prude, but am always surprised at the enthusiasm with which they relate their salacious tales, seeming to give them the same weight as they would a notable acomplishment in sports or in the workplace. It seems to me paying hundreds of dollars (yep) to see naked women dance and frolic around in your proximity would fall under the category of things you decide to do when drunk and regret later, not those you set out to do and are proud of. I have heard lap dances described in great detail, but none has had a happy ending for any of them. However, some of these women appear to be quite talented at wooing the men into thinking they have some other, nonprofessional interest in them. I’m amazed. One friend, a retired social worker and one of the smartest guys I know, proudly showed me an email address he obtained from one of the dancers he had met and talked with…he related that she was hoping to become a teacher or therapist and was going to contact him for advice about navigating college. You’d think these guys had never seen a real boob before, but that’s not true, of course. I think it may be partially true that probably none of them, regular guys, had ever been that close to a naked young woman who could be considered very attractive, but I don’t know for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/67 "2010-10-15T21:51:51Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I didn’t realize there were legions of guys leaving these places with sticky pants, and I brought it up to my husband, whose reaction was “gross.” This was my exact reaction upon reading the thread title. I’m sure it happens, of course, but that doesn’t make it less nasty. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/68 "2010-10-16T01:10:22Z")
> [@Kelby](#): > > I have several friends, both married and not, who enjoy going to high-end strip clubs once or twice a year and participating in the lap dance option. I know this because the subject is given high priority and is almost immediately brought up when the group is together over beers or golf. > > Now admittedly I may be somewhat of a prude, but am always surprised at the enthusiasm with which they relate their salacious tales, seeming to give them the same weight as they would a notable acomplishment in sports or in the workplace. It seems to me paying hundreds of dollars (yep) to see naked women dance and frolic around in your proximity would fall under the category of things you decide to do when drunk and regret later, not those you set out to do and are proud of. > > I have heard lap dances described in great detail, but none has had a happy ending for any of them. However, some of these women appear to be quite talented at wooing the men into thinking they have some other, nonprofessional interest in them. I’m amazed. > > One friend, a retired social worker and one of the smartest guys I know, proudly showed me an email address he obtained from one of the dancers he had met and talked with…he related that she was hoping to become a teacher or therapist and was going to contact him for advice about navigating college. > > You’d think these guys had never seen a real boob before, but that’s not true, of course. I think it may be partially true that probably none of them, regular guys, had ever been that close to a naked young woman who could be considered very attractive, but I don’t know for sure. We’re not idiots. We understand that the women in strip clubs aren’t really overwhelmed by our charm. But they’re willing to pretend that they think we’re the best thing they’ve ever laid eyes on. And we enjoy the illusion that a bunch of attractive women think we’re irresistible. Customers and strippers alike are in on the game and everyone’s getting something they want. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/69 "2010-10-16T01:19:48Z")
The “advice” posted today makes me want to wash my hands just from touching the keyboard, and contemplate taking a shower. Ew. And - zombie spooge. Ew. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/70 "2010-10-16T01:49:01Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > The “advice” posted today makes me want to wash my hands just from touching the keyboard, and contemplate taking a shower. > > Ew. And - zombie spooge. Ew. Zombies: "Spooooooooge! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/71 "2010-10-16T01:56:10Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > > [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > > > The “advice” posted today makes me want to wash my hands just from touching the keyboard, and contemplate taking a shower. > > > > Ew. And - zombie spooge. Ew. > > Zombies: "Spooooooooge! Did anyone else automatically imagine a porno spoof where that would make perfect sense? Barely dead looking women who are trying to have sex with our heroes. They are both attracted to them, but know that, if they give in, they will become zombies, too, as that’s how they spread. The zombie virus is a sexually transmitted disease. And, yes, you’d get the guy who had abstained but accidentally gotten a little splooge from a male zombie, and would slowly turn and have to be killed. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/72 "2010-10-16T02:13:38Z")
> [@bigt](#): > > > [@der trihs](#): > > > > zombies: "spooooooooge! > > did anyone else automatically imagine a porno spoof where that would make perfect sense? Barely dead looking women who are trying to have sex with our heroes. They are both attracted to them, but know that, if they give in, they will become zombies, too, as that’s how they spread. > > The zombie virus is a sexually transmitted disease. > > And, yes, you’d get the guy who had abstained but accidentally gotten a little splooge from a male zombie, and would slowly turn and have to be killed. Awesome!! I would watch that movie. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/73 "2010-10-16T05:51:01Z")
> [@Kelby](#): > > You’d think these guys had never seen a **real boob** before, but that’s not true, of course. I think it may be partially true that probably none of them, regular guys, had ever been that close to a naked young woman who could be considered very attractive, but I don’t know for sure. If its a strip joint, its probably and aftermarket boob and not an OEM. Just sayin Declan ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/74 "2010-10-16T05:56:12Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > > > Zombies: "Spooooooooge! > > Did anyone else automatically imagine a porno spoof where that would make perfect sense? Barely dead looking women who are trying to have sex with our heroes. They are both attracted to them, but know that, if they give in, they will become zombies, too, as that’s how they spread. > > The zombie virus is a sexually transmitted disease. Girl #1: “Didn’t you find anything suspicious about drooling guys shambling around and trying to grab you while moaning ‘_spoooge_’?” Girl #2: “I just figured they were fraternity guys.” ---
**Author:** ![Sevastopol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Sevastopol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevastopol)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/75 "2010-10-16T11:40:15Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > Gross. Score! ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/76 "2010-10-16T16:01:43Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > > > Zombies: "Spooooooooge! > > Did anyone else automatically imagine a porno spoof where that would make perfect sense? Barely dead looking women who are trying to have sex with our heroes. They are both attracted to them, but know that, if they give in, they will become zombies, too, as that’s how they spread. > > The zombie virus is a sexually transmitted disease. > > And, yes, you’d get the guy who had abstained but accidentally gotten a little splooge from a male zombie, and would slowly turn and have to be killed. I have bad news for you, but I’ve seen something very similar online. You can probably find it if you google for “zombie porn”, but I would advise against it. ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/77 "2010-10-16T16:15:33Z")
This one time, at a strip club, a stripper said, “I’ve made every guy I danced for (today) cum.” I believed her. Yes I got a lapdance from her after. No I didn’t cum. Why not is probably TMI. ---
**Author:** ![Jorge\_Burrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Jorge\_Burrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jorge_Burrito)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/78 "2010-10-16T16:16:05Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > > [@bigt](#): > > > > did anyone else automatically imagine a porno spoof where that would make perfect sense? Barely dead looking women who are trying to have sex with our heroes. They are both attracted to them, but know that, if they give in, they will become zombies, too, as that’s how they spread. > > > > The zombie virus is a sexually transmitted disease. > > > > And, yes, you’d get the guy who had abstained but accidentally gotten a little splooge from a male zombie, and would slowly turn and have to be killed. > > Awesome!! I would watch that movie. Not quite this plot, but their is a zombie porno spoof of the video game left 4 dead called left 4 head that is pretty funny if you play the game. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/79 "2010-10-16T16:17:00Z")
How often does a lap dance end in an orgasm? Every time. That’s why they give them to me for free. It’s just the burden I have to bear. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596/80 "2010-10-16T16:22:06Z")
“StickyPants?” Really? Are we supposed to be impressed with his “expert” qualifications? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-often-does-a-lap-dance-end-in-orgasm/467596.md?page=5)