# Guys: how old a woman is too old ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 11, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385 "2011-08-11T22:31:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/181 "2016-11-03T20:36:40Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > **Shagnasty** , please do all women a favor and don’t inflict yourself upon any of us. I don’t know about you, but I’m safely American-style and my habits aren’t broken so he wouldn’t deign to consider me for a wife. (And even if I wasn’t I would claim to be, just to err on the side of caution.) ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/182 "2016-11-03T20:36:49Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > How do you know you’re capable of creating children biologically-related to you? I haven’t had sperm tested or anything like that, so, admittedly, yes, I’m assuming I can. > [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Will you divorce your wife and look for another if she can’t conceive or carry for whatever reason? No. > [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Are you really saying your intent to procreate is more important than the person w/ whom you hope to parent those kids? _Sigh_ No, that is not what I’m saying. ---
**Author:** ![Neo-Calredic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/96bed5/32.png) [@Neo-Calredic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neo-Calredic)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/183 "2016-11-03T20:44:42Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Speaking only for myself, I would dump somebody in a second if they couldn’t fulfill our reproductive agreement. Wives and girlfriends are completely replaceable and somewhat interchangeable, kids are not at least from a father’s point of view. Gross, man. Just gross. Why would you expect anyone to want to marry someone who thinks about them like that? ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/184 "2016-11-03T21:26:31Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > /snipped/ _Sigh_ No, that is not what I’m saying. You can **sigh** all you like, but that’s how what you wrote came across. ‘I have no problem dating women much older than I am, but I do want biological children, so I can or will only marry women who are still within childbearing age.’ Pretty clear message. If you meant something different, what did you mean? (For those that don’t already know, women have successfully given birth into their 60s.) ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/185 "2016-11-03T21:49:13Z")
> [@Neo-Calredic](#): > > Gross, man. Just gross. Why would you expect anyone to want to marry someone who thinks about them like that? Poor thing. You’ve never met **Shaggy** , have you? Brace yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/186 "2016-11-03T22:39:40Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > I don’t know about you, but I’m safely American-style and my habits aren’t broken so he wouldn’t deign to consider me for a wife. (And even if I wasn’t I would claim to be, just to err on the side of caution.) Don’t worry. I took myself out of the marriage pool years ago looking out for everyone’s best interest including my own. Believe it or not, I am not very good at it and don’t ever intend to be. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/187 "2016-11-03T23:07:00Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Don’t worry. I took myself out of the marriage pool years ago looking out for everyone’s best interest including my own. Believe it or not, I am not very good at it and don’t ever intend to be. You and me both; I wasn’t prepared for the obstacles either time so I won’t waste anyone else’s shot at marital bliss. I may not always be happier alone but I’m not dragging anyone down w/ me anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Arcite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/67e7ee/32.png) [@Arcite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arcite)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/188 "2016-11-03T23:20:13Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Thirty-six. It has been the same answer since I was 5 although I would probably make an exception for Lynda Carter. > > In all seriousness, I am 43 and this is starting to be a real concern. Forty+ year old women simply don’t do it for me with only a few rare exceptions. I am always dismayed when I am sitting in a meeting wondering how some worn-out, matronly woman could possibly still be married and then I find out she is younger than I am. > > Before you throw out examples like Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie, let me interrupt you because all I can say is gross! > > I am not buying the life experience and quality conversation argument either. I actually go out in public and see middle-aged men interacting with their wives in natural habitats like supermarkets, restaurants and malls. That isn’t a hell I would wish upon anyone. > > I suspect my answer isn’t going to be very popular but it is a real one for me at least. I basically agree with this. I think the only way I could be content with a 40+ year old woman is if I had been with her since she was like 23 and I had what are sometimes called “wife goggles” for her. A commenter on one of the red-pill blogs I sometimes peruse put it well when he said, “most women really have no clue how much more attractive a 20 year old is to a man than a 30 year old. And as for 40? She might as well be a difference species.” Unfortunately, I turned 40 this year and so the prospect of marrying that 23 year old is flying away into the rear view mirror. But that doesn’t change one iota the fact that there is absolutely zero appeal for me in the 35+ year olds who now comprise my “socially appropriate” dating pool. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/189 "2016-11-03T23:46:18Z")
> [@Arcite](#): > > I basically agree with this. I think the only way I could be content with a 40+ year old woman is if I had been with her since she was like 23 and I had what are sometimes called “wife goggles” for her. A commenter on one of the red-pill blogs I sometimes peruse put it well when he said, “most women really have no clue how much more attractive a 20 year old is to a man than a 30 year old. And as for 40? She might as well be a difference species.” Unfortunately, I turned 40 this year and so the prospect of marrying that 23 year old is flying away into the rear view mirror. But that doesn’t change one iota the fact that there is absolutely zero appeal for me in the 35+ year olds who now comprise my “socially appropriate” dating pool. Unless you’re rich or they’re idiots it’s not likely a 23 year old would want you. My perpetually broke 45 year old brother managed to knock up a 27 year old idiot co-worker so if you’re NOT rich you may still have a shot. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2016, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/190 "2016-11-04T04:37:06Z")
To the OP (I hope that you’re already happily with someone and enjoying your fifth anniversary, give or take), I dated a woman ten years older than me when I was 49. The age wasn’t a big deal (I did stop and think for a couple of minutes at her 60th birthday, but that’s about it.) That said, the age difference did seem to be a big deal to others (There’s one woman that I see only once or twice a year at fests who still giggles whenever we see each other; I may try to sell her a ticket if she does it next time.) The big issues were that she wanted to be more serious than I did (which may have had a little to do with our ages. We were on opposite sides of the social-political spectrum so we never really connected with each other’s friends. Also, I was just too wrapped up in my problems at the time. Would I do it again? I don’t know. It was a lot of fun, but I feel like I left her with the sort end of the stick. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2016, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/191 "2016-11-04T06:23:26Z")
> [@Arcite](#): > > I basically agree with this. I think the only way I could be content with a 40+ year old woman is if I had been with her since she was like 23 and I had what are sometimes called “wife goggles” for her. A commenter on one of the red-pill blogs I sometimes peruse put it well when he said, “most women really have no clue how much more attractive a 20 year old is to a man than a 30 year old. And as for 40? She might as well be a difference species.” Unfortunately, I turned 40 this year and so the prospect of marrying that 23 year old is flying away into the rear view mirror. But that doesn’t change one iota the fact that there is absolutely zero appeal for me in the 35+ year olds who now comprise my “socially appropriate” dating pool. I can’t believe you guys admit to this shit. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2016, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/192 "2016-11-04T07:01:45Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > Not such a good rule. My oldest child is not quite 3. I’m 56. So dating ten-year-olds would be the way to go, according to that. You’re doing better than me. I don’t have kids, so I’m stuck with a 7 year old!? :eek: But the rule of thumb I’ve heard is half your age plus 7. So I guess that would put both of us in the mid 30s. Well, you anyway, I’m not delusional enough to think any woman would be interested in me. ---
**Author:** ![Gavano](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Gavano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gavano)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2016, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/194 "2016-11-04T09:53:30Z")
Hey! It seems to me that the age of a woman, whether she is considered too young or too old, differs greatly from society to society… I had a pen friend from some village from east European country, so he told that in 25 a girl is considered not fresh! Hahahah! Then I asked , for what she is not fresh in this age, and he answered to get married… girls there are starting get married in 15-19…till 25 they have 2-3 children… but that’s the rules of their society… for me it is strange and unnatural… ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2016, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/195 "2016-11-04T13:14:54Z")
> [@Arcite](#): > > A commenter on one of the red-pill blogs I sometimes peruse put it well when he said, “most women really have no clue how much more attractive a 20 year old is to a man than a 30 year old. And as for 40? She might as well be a difference species.” I keep noticing men flavoring their opinions about sexual preferences with “Le sigh, most women can’t understand/don’t realize/refuse to accept that men like X”. Am I the only one seeing this? It’s become obnoxious. Individual guys have little business talking about what _most_ men like, let alone what most women understand. All other things being equal, guys will find younger women more attractive than older women. Duh. But the OP asks how old is too old for them, and that’s a question that factors in more than just _their_ sexual preference. Unless we’re talking about men who are fine with staying single, what also has to be taken into account is their chances of scoring with much the kind of women they are most attracted to. The average middle-age may lust after 20 year olds more than his contemporaries, but unless the guy is exceptional in the ways that count (including luck), odds are he will have a much harder time finding a 20 year old GF than a 40 yo. For a man who realistically wants a relationship, he’s gonna have to do a feasibility assessment: if chasing after nubile maidens results in nothing but wasted effort and/or heartbreak, then nubile maidens aren’t the best investment of his time and energy. He will need to consider older women, even if that means being with someone less hot and sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2016, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/196 "2016-11-04T13:22:33Z")
> [@LH75](#): > > and although young women can be decorative Don’t know why, but this makes me think of [this clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh9Ps3SLLYk) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2016, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/197 "2016-11-04T14:20:49Z")
This is troubling. I married with no intent to procreate, have no kids and no regrets, and I’m still immensely attracted to my wife of 20 years, who is only a year my junior. What the hell is _wrong_ with me? ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2016, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/198 "2016-11-04T14:24:54Z")
I suspect you may be a grown-up, way to stand out from the crowd. if you want to “fix” that, you could hang out on a “red pill blog” ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2016, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/199 "2016-11-04T18:23:17Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I can’t believe you guys admit to this shit. Wow. If they didn’t get the message that it’s ok for men to show the effects of aging but women need to fight it off at every opportunity (to the extent of surgery if necessary) reinforced a few times a day in modern culture and advertising they wouldn’t have the confidence to spout their delusional BS. I’m not sure how much of their motivation is genuinely related to reproduction and how much is simply them choosing to believe in a system they think benefits them. Here’s what I know - in my social group experiences over the past year and half or so, among a wide variety of ages via Meetup activities for everything from hiking to attending free movies to playing board games, as a woman in her mid-40s I’ve been asked out almost exclusively by guys in their 20s and 30s. I don’t look my age, but I sure don’t look like I’m in my 20s. It seems younger guys have more confidence (bravado maybe?) than those around my age or older. They know they actually have a shot at dating women their age so they don’t pine or fetishize like their dads or granddads do. The guy I see most regularly is 30; his friends think I’m a genius. It’s cute. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/200 "2016-11-05T02:29:54Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Why not marry an older woman and long-term lease some children? Because for the last 3 billion years my genes in an unbroken chain have been working to reproduce themselves and achieve immortality. Not a single one of my ancestors from a single celled eukaryote to today has failed to pass along my genes, although there has been a lot of mutations and mixtures along the way. It has been a long haul and I’d hate for me to be the weak link and let my genes die. ---
**Author:** ![stanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@stanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stanger)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2016, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/201 "2016-11-05T03:13:04Z")
WARNING – LONG RAMBLING POST TO FOLLOW Well, the question the OP originally posed was basically, How much does a woman’s age factor into whether men find her attractive? I will be 63 tomorrow, and I have to say that age is rarely a factor in whether I find a woman attractive. Now, by attractive, I mean mostly facially, and overall in general, to be pleasing to the mind’s eye. I do not specifically mean sexually attractive, but a woman that looks good and find them to be pleasant to look at and appreciative of their particular physical appearance and first-impression vibe. I have the advantage of my years. I have been a very young man, and am now entering my more ‘mature’ years. Thusly, since I have lived (suffered) through the mid-teen years, I know what an attractive mid-teen girl looks like. Being older does not change that. Consequently, I know what an attractive mid-teen to early 60s woman looks like to me, and so have grown more appreciative of the looks of older women as I, myself, have grown older. I do not find them all to be sexually attractive, regardless of their age, but I can acknowledge their beauty. Attractiveness of mind, personality and sexual allure is something separate and comes along later, if at all. My years have also tempered my mind’s eye that it makes allowances for the obvious physical changes that come along with age. I see many women that I thought were attractive in their 20s, and now that they are more 40ish, there are some obvious differences in their appearance that can be directly attributed to the years, but those differences don’t seem to matter. They seem to fit. A line, a wrinkle here, some extra weight there – it just adds individuality and character to them. Yes, it is not just men that can look good with the years upon them – many women do too. There is nothing inherently detrimental to a woman, or any person, who shows normal signs of aging, if they wear it well. Besides, true beauty, if a woman has it, comes with age It is rare that a young woman is actually beautiful, for beauty comes from within. That is why you see references to the beauty of Helen Mirren or Sophia Loren, though they have not been young women for some time. Of course, I am into my ‘curmudgeonly’ years, and tend to think of any woman younger than 30 to be ‘a girl’. I do not mean to be disrespectful, I merely feel that a woman over 30 is more mature, more ‘together’ than one in their 20s, so it is an off-the-cuff observation. I am single, am now fairly old in form and function, and have always been ugly, so I do not chase after women anymore, regardless of their age or perceived level of attractiveness. But I see a lot of attractive women on TV and out-and-about, and I generally find them interesting and attractive with little true regard to their perceived age. I welcomed the advent of HD-TV, and had no problem with the women on screen looking more their age than not. Even a woman that has had makeup professionally applied and the lighting set ‘just so’ cannot long be seen as much younger than her life experience and genetics will allow her. Attractiveness is in the minds-eye of the beholder. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385.md?page=11)