# Guys: how old a woman is too old ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 11, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385 "2011-08-11T22:31:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/101 "2013-08-08T13:36:48Z")
Any woman that looks like my mother’s age is too old for me to be romantically involved with. Big turn off. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/102 "2013-08-08T13:45:16Z")
Personal predilections and anecdotes aside, women are simply a whole lot more willing to date older so there is much higher demand for older men. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/103 "2013-08-08T14:11:15Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > I’m 54, and here’s my take: > If you aren’t ugly, then the only thing left is, how do/will you look naked. The only thing I can think of negative in a non-ugly woman past the age of 40 is the word ‘sag.’ If you aren’t ugly, and _ **the thingies don’t sag** _, then, you are pretty high up the ol’ number scale. 😉 > I imagine that most people, women as well as men, wouldn’t mind dating somebody substantially younger, but, if all other things fall into place, (the not ugly, and _ **thingies not sagging** _ bit) I think there’s quite a bit of latitude. > Best wishes, > hh (bolding mine) Say _ **what** _?! Surely you jest, sir. I find those statements to be a tad bit, well… unrealistic, for starters. ☹ Seeing as how you’re 54, I’ll bet that your ‘thingies’ are starting to ‘sag’ a wee bit, too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/104 "2013-08-08T14:51:50Z")
> [@FlowerlovesTim](#): > > I am a 35 yr old women dating a 21 yr old and we been together for a yr and he just asked me to marry him i said yes. He also know I can’t have anymore children and he is fine with this my question is why is age such an issue if you in love and happy why should it matter. I do on the other hand disagree with underage relationships what I mean in under the age of 18 being with older men or women. > [@Romeo\_and\_Whatsherface](#): > > I’m especially interested in getting the male point of view, but I’d welcome the female opinions, too. How much does a woman’s age factor into whether men find her attractive? Probably few hetero males don’t appreciate an eyeful of a good-looking 20-year-old woman, but at what approximate age, if any, do women stop being secret-ogle worthy? > > If it matters, here’s my situation: I’m 54 and divorced 2 years after 32 years of marriage to a man with major mental health issues. I stay active–working out, hiking, etc.–and am in good shape with a good BMI. I don’t know if I’m attractive or not, but I’m not ugly. I take care of my appearance. That should do it, I think. > > Are men in general actually attracted to women my age? I ask because the few single men my age I’ve met/dated have really been looking for women who are substantially younger (say, ten years or more). I get how young = attractive. It just seems like women my age are pretty much ignored by most men unless they’re married to them (and sometimes even then). I know there’s a lot that goes into the mix–personality, zest for living, confidence, etc., and maybe I’m warped by my few experiences. But given a choice and all else being equal, wouldn’t most men over, say, 40, prefer dating women who are substantially younger? > > Just trying to put things in perspective. > > Thanks! Priest: Why are you telling me?? 😕 Old Jewish man: I’m telling EVERYBODY!! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/105 "2013-08-08T14:53:33Z")
My age plus 7 years. ---
**Author:** ![NotDeadYet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NotDeadYet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotDeadYet)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/106 "2013-08-08T15:06:02Z")
I’ve heard it said that the rule of thumb is the age of your oldest child plus 7. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/107 "2013-08-08T15:16:20Z")
> [@NotDeadYet](#): > > I’ve heard it said that the rule of thumb is the age of your oldest child plus 7. Not a very good ‘rule of thumb’, IMHO. :dubious: My ‘oldest’ child (my _only_ child) is 23. So, 23+7=30. My SO is twice _ **that** _ age. (+ a few) 😛 ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/108 "2013-08-08T15:21:54Z")
\ **NotDeadYet** , did you receive the PM that I sent you last week? ---
**Author:** ![LaurenIpsum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@LaurenIpsum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LaurenIpsum)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/109 "2013-08-08T15:44:29Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > (bolding mine) > > Say _ **what** _?! > Surely you jest, sir. I find those statements to be a tad bit, well… unrealistic, for starters. ☹ > > Seeing as how you’re 54, I’ll bet that your ‘thingies’ are starting to ‘sag’ a wee bit, too. 😉 Actually, he’s 56 now, as that post was written 2 years ago. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/110 "2013-08-08T17:46:12Z")
My aunt lives on the other side of the country, so I don’t see her very often. But I’ve always had a bit of a crush on her. Last time I saw her, she was 79 years old. And still gorgeous IMHO. So I’m not sure where the line is for ‘any woman older than X is too old, no matter what.’ But 79 is on this side of the line. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/111 "2013-08-08T20:17:13Z")
Didn’t realize at first that this was a necropost, but whatever. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > **harry** , gravity is a harsh mistress. Guys like big boobs, but they don’t want sag? Too bad - physics don’t allow exceptions for male preference. 🙂 Well, some of us like small boobs, for that reason and others. I married a small-breasted woman. She’s now a large-breasted woman. I confess to loving all the sizes. > [@Romeo\_and\_Whatsherface](#): > > I welcome all the suggestions and embrace all the 50-somethings-can-be-hot comments.🙂 I belong to a hiking club; it’s almost all women and couples, so it’s not really an opportunity to meet men, but I enjoy it anyway. How I wish there WERE a mechanics class or something similar around here! > … > Where do men go when they want to meet women? Or don’t they? If they’re smart, they go to dance and yoga classes! That’s what I’d do if I’m unlucky enough that my wife comes to her senses and tosses me out. > [@raindog](#): > > I had a woman friend tell me that at age 50 women become _invisible_ to men. I’m sure I’m pretty much invisible to women under 30. It works both ways, though I admit it’s biased in men’s favor. I’m 56, in good shape, still have all my hair. Age doesn’t matter, but I wouldn’t want to date a woman who looks significantly older than I do. I’d be tickled to date a much younger woman, but I’d probably find women closer to my age more fun to be with, and that’s what matters most. The bassist/vocalist in my soul band got divorced not long ago, almost by surprise (his wife said she just didn’t want to be married any more; they’re still on good terms.) He’s 58, good looking, in great shape, a well-employed professional, artistic, easy going, and funny. I thought he’d be like a kid in a candy store, but he’s not enjoying it. I guess it’s not easy to weed out the crazy. I shudder to think of having to “go fish”. I’m sure I’ve lost whatever fishing skills I once had! ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/112 "2013-08-08T21:04:58Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > All other considerations aside, the best way for a woman to make a man overlook her age is to exhibit a higher than normal degree of sexual libido and sexual confidence. This was my experience when I was dating. I even experimented with the idea: If I indicated a higher than average interest in sex and displayed sexual confidence, men were interested. If I didn’t mention sex or didn’t enthusiastically respond in kind to overt sexual ennuendo, I saw much less response. And, I wasn’t indicating that I was frigid, either. Just didn’t play the “sex card” quite so much. Instead, I tried to focus on being positive, humorous, caring, etc.; you know, displaying the “good personality” that men say they’re looking for. I was dealing with men in their later 50s and early 60s. And, no, I don’t sag. (I’m 56.) My conclusion from this is that nearly all men, at any age, regardless of what they say they value, place sex at the top of their lists, and go from there. That’s why I resigned from the world of dating and am much, much happier now. ---
**Author:** ![XsilentX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a88e57/32.png) [@XsilentX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XsilentX)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/113 "2014-02-24T20:46:03Z")
Hi Everyone! I’m new here but just wanted to say that I’m 64 and have a great body that I’m proud of. I’m corresponding with someone who is 18 years younger than me and Asian. I find him very attractive and intelligent. Its not my style to date much younger guys…but, hey…just waiting to see what happens. Strange thing from my perspective though is…I’ve never been on this end of the spectrum. Like, I don’t want to feel like I’m robbing the cradle or don’t want to feel uncomfortable in public. So, this is a two way street. He’s not doing me any favors because, frankly, he would be pretty lucky to be in a relationship with me. I’ve seen so many much, much younger women who look terrible. It sags and bags and jiggles and flops at 30. Its how you take care of yourself, your sexual passion, your mind, your skin, how you eat, your interests…so many, many things. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/114 "2014-02-24T20:50:52Z")
Old Sophie Tucker joke - Older women should date younger men, but older men should not date younger women. It’s simple arithmetic - 20 goes into 60 a lot more than 60 goes into 20. Welcome to the SDMB, **XsilentX**. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/115 "2014-02-24T22:06:49Z")
It depends on what you are looking for. I am 50 BBW, and while I find I am not everyone’s cup o’ tea, there are men (attractive men) who want to be with me. If you’re open to a boy toy, lots of guys in their 30’s just love older women. Again, it depends on what you’re looking for, but there’s no reason to think you are invisible or need to be put out to pasture. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/116 "2014-02-24T22:12:54Z")
> [@XsilentX](#): > > Hi Everyone! I’m new here but just wanted to say that I’m 64 and have a great body that I’m proud of. I’m corresponding with someone who is 18 years younger than me and Asian. I find him very attractive and intelligent. Its not my style to date much younger guys…but, hey…just waiting to see what happens. > > Strange thing from my perspective though is…I’ve never been on this end of the spectrum. Like, I don’t want to feel like I’m robbing the cradle or don’t want to feel uncomfortable in public. > > So, this is a two way street. He’s not doing me any favors because, frankly, he would be pretty lucky to be in a relationship with me. I’ve seen so many much, much younger women who look terrible. It sags and bags and jiggles and flops at 30. > > Its how you take care of yourself, your sexual passion, your mind, your skin, how you eat, your interests…so many, many things. Awesome, I’m glad for you. Finding love is hard enough in this world, so don’t let society tell you who you should be dating (as long as everthing’s legal and aboveboard). If people are making you uncomfortable in public that’s their problem. It’s not _their_ life to live. ---
**Author:** ![Melchior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Melchior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melchior)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2014, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/117 "2014-02-24T22:26:22Z")
> [@Romeo\_and\_Whatsherface](#): > > I’m especially interested in getting the male point of view, but I’d welcome the female opinions, too. How much does a woman’s age factor into whether men find her attractive? Probably few hetero males don’t appreciate an eyeful of a good-looking 20-year-old woman, but at what approximate age, if any, do women stop being secret-ogle worthy? > > If it matters, here’s my situation: I’m 54 and divorced 2 years after 32 years of marriage to a man with major mental health issues. I stay active–working out, hiking, etc.–and am in good shape with a good BMI. I don’t know if I’m attractive or not, but I’m not ugly. I take care of my appearance. That should do it, I think. > > Are men in general actually attracted to women my age? I ask because the few single men my age I’ve met/dated have really been looking for women who are substantially younger (say, ten years or more). I get how young = attractive. It just seems like women my age are pretty much ignored by most men unless they’re married to them (and sometimes even then). I know there’s a lot that goes into the mix–personality, zest for living, confidence, etc., and maybe I’m warped by my few experiences. But given a choice and all else being equal, wouldn’t most men over, say, 40, prefer dating women who are substantially younger? > > Just trying to put things in perspective. > > Thanks! Women are at their peak of attractiveness during their fertile years, and it gradually declines after that. And yes, most men prefer dating women in that age range regardless of their own age. This is ultimately due to evolutionary biology. ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/118 "2014-02-25T00:14:43Z")
I’m a guy, turning 40 this year. My wife is 3 years older than me. She looks about 5 years younger than me, though. People who don’t know us think I’m the older one, which is funny since most people guess at least 5 years too low on my age. Depending on the woman, I might be attracted to someone up to maybe 10 years older, but I can only remember a couple of women who were that much older than me who I felt anything like, “Want sexytimes with, much making!” I seem to be most attracted to women in their late 20s to early 30s lately. No idea how that might change in the future since I’ve been attracted to roughly that age bracket since my mid-20s, and the upper age hasn’t pushed back all that much. That said, I’m probably not in the age group you’d want to target anyway; a bit too young. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/119 "2014-02-25T00:25:02Z")
As my sister taught me, when her neck’s already vulture-like and her fingers look like sausage links. This should go GQ but is it true they still haven’t found a way to make old female necks and fingers look younger? ---
**Author:** ![nevadaexile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb8c5e/32.png) [@nevadaexile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nevadaexile)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2014, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385/120 "2014-02-25T00:35:24Z")
If she asks me to go to her grandchild’s high school graduation, then she’s too old.😃 Naahh…I’m 47 and if Helen Mirren wanted to give me some play, I would run (not walk) to the nearest bedroom with her. She’s 67 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-how-old-a-woman-is-too-old/592385.md?page=7)