# Guys, trust me when I tell you, this isn't the right way to impress a date. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 25, 2013, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902 "2013-03-25T11:18:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/21 "2013-03-25T17:25:00Z")
I faked my own heroic death once for this really cute girl, but then I actually got killed, which ruined the whole rest of the evening. Boy, was I bummed! ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/22 "2013-03-25T18:10:33Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I faked my own heroic death once for this really cute girl, but then I actually got killed, which ruined the whole rest of the evening. Boy, was I bummed! Instead of a zombie thread, we have a zombie in a thread. PANIC!!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/23 "2013-03-25T18:20:04Z")
> [@sachertorte](#): > > I read that as meaning, because he admitted it and didn’t lie to the police, the police weren’t going to pursue charges. I got that much, just found it odd that they’d apply the “no punishment because you were honest” rule to a criminal (?) act by an adult, as though it were a kid who’d 'fessed up to raiding the cookie jar. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/24 "2013-03-25T18:33:24Z")
Wow, I guess I am not in line with most humans on this but why wasn’t she impressed? Ladies, why wouldn’t you be impressed if a guy did this? I would be and I’m not even dating him. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/25 "2013-03-25T18:44:39Z")
wasnt there a thread a month or so ago with a similar story - except that the would be attackers were beaten up pretty badly - it was not an ‘impress the date’ situation, but a x-wife trying to get the x-husband to leave an apartment? THe attackees were charged if memory serves - somehting about bringing a fake knife to a gun fight - or maybe a fake gun to a knife fight. ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Pumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Ms.Pumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Pumpkin)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/26 "2013-03-25T20:30:35Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Ladies, why wouldn’t you be impressed if a guy did this? I would be and I’m not even dating him. I think it indicates both an extreme insecurity and the possibility that he might live his whole life in a complete fantasy-world. IOW, psycho alert! ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/27 "2013-03-25T21:28:00Z")
I would have loved to see the look on their faces when she ran off. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/28 "2013-03-25T22:04:31Z")
It could have been worse. There was that incident a while ago where a woman tried to scare her husband with a fake attack, and he [killed the attacker](http://www.sfgate.com/crime/article/Adultery-plot-ends-in-murder-police-say-4180519.php#ixzz2HiiV9lMj). What if she’d whipped out a gun from her purse and opened fire? Oops. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/29 "2013-03-25T22:08:35Z")
> [@Ms.Pumpkin](#): > > I think it indicates both an extreme insecurity and the possibility that he might live his whole life in a complete fantasy-world. IOW, psycho alert! Sorry, I meant that if the woman thought the attack was real. I read the responses in this thread as if people thought the attack was real and unimpressed. Of course even I’m unimpressed by a failed attack, as it shows deception and recklessness. But would you, and other women of the Dope, be impressed if your date had fought off a mugger you thought was real? I would, and so I understand the impulse to stage this attack even though it backfired ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/30 "2013-03-25T22:50:34Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Wow. > > I am embarrassed to admit that I had come up with almost the exact same plan (sans knife) to impress a girl I had a crush on. > > Admittedly I was in fifth grade at the time. But still. this was a plot in a movie. A cop sets up a knife attack to look good in front of a TV camera. You should get royalties. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2013, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/31 "2013-03-25T23:55:13Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Another example of why the correct course of action is to always take her out to dinner and then during dinner excuse yourself to go to the restroom and then sneak around behind her and whip your sack out and place it on the back of her neck. Chicks love this. Trust me. “It looks like a penis, only smaller.” ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/32 "2013-03-26T02:09:20Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Another example of why the correct course of action is to always take her out to dinner and then during dinner excuse yourself to go to the restroom and then sneak around behind her and whip your sack out and place it on the back of her neck. Chicks love this. Trust me. OMG, I love this suggestion. I take it this would be in a restaurant with booth seating? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ms.Pumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@Ms.Pumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms.Pumpkin)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/33 "2013-03-26T02:13:53Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Sorry, I meant that if the woman thought the attack was real. I read the responses in this thread as if people thought the attack was real and unimpressed. Of course even I’m unimpressed by a failed attack, as it shows deception and recklessness. But would you, and other women of the Dope, be impressed if your date had fought off a mugger you thought was real? I would, and so I understand the impulse to stage this attack even though it backfired Ohhhh, that makes more sense, duh! Yeah, I’d be pretty impressed, no doubt. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/34 "2013-03-26T02:23:54Z")
> [@Aquadementia](#): > > There’s no such thing as a “fake” flower attack. You get attacked by flowers, you gonna come out smelling like a rose, or possibly a galdiola. It’s for real buds. Go petal your ideas someplace else. > [@Mrs.Cake](#): > > I guarantee you that at least one of her relatives (probably an aunt) will be telling her that she should really consider dating him again, because look how much trouble he went to just to impress you! And on top of that he’s so honest! And he has friends in the legal profession. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/35 "2013-03-26T02:28:54Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > It could have been worse. There was that incident a while ago where a woman tried to scare her husband with a fake attack, and he [killed the attacker](http://www.sfgate.com/crime/article/Adultery-plot-ends-in-murder-police-say-4180519.php#ixzz2HiiV9lMj). What if she’d whipped out a gun from her purse and opened fire? Oops. Thats the one I was thinking of - ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/36 "2013-03-26T03:23:53Z")
> [@Aquadementia](#): > > There’s no such thing as a “fake” flower attack. You get attacked by flowers, you gonna come out smelling like a rose, or possibly a galdiola. It’s for real buds. If you don’t mind looking like a pansy… ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/37 "2013-03-26T15:02:33Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Pray tell, is that how you got your username? How would “Bricker” relate to my fifth-grade self heroically saving a gorgeous sixth-grader from a horrible attack by some creep? (Or, in the alternative, merely fantasizing about saving her and then dreaming up a scenario in which i could guarantee its happening by recruiting the attacker ahead of time and rehearsing the whole thing?) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/38 "2013-03-26T15:06:25Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > How would “Bricker” relate to my fifth-grade self heroically saving a gorgeous sixth-grader from a horrible attack by some creep? You hit him with a brick. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/39 "2013-03-26T15:10:00Z")
Yep. > [@Bricker](#): > > I am embarrassed to admit that **I had come up with almost the exact same plan (sans knife)** to impress a girl I had a crush on. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/40 "2013-03-26T15:19:11Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Another example of why the correct course of action is to always take her out to dinner and then during dinner excuse yourself to go to the restroom and then sneak around behind her and whip your sack out and place it on the back of her neck. Chicks love this. Trust me. Back in the bad old days of stupid fraternity initiations, a story from Cornell claimed that a pledge had to do this to a girl in the middle of the university library. According to the legend, the girl glanced over her shoulder and said “Looks like a penis. Only smaller.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902.md?page=3)