# Guys, trust me when I tell you, this isn't the right way to impress a date.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 25, 2013, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902 "2013-03-25T11:18:03Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\
**Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/41 "2013-03-26T17:27:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> “Looks like a penis. Only smaller.”

“I can see you have a thing for me, but why is it so small and misshapen?”

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**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/42 "2013-03-26T18:38:43Z")

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> [@Bricker](#):
>
> Wow.
> 
> I am embarrassed to admit that I had come up with almost the exact same plan (sans knife) to impress a girl I had a crush on.
> 
> Admittedly I was in fifth grade at the time. But still.

But Encyclopedia Brown figured out that if you had _really_ been fighting that bully, the spectacles in your coat pocket would have been broken, right?

And so he got to keep his receptionist/bodyguard after all…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\
**Post date:** [March 26, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-trust-me-when-i-tell-you-this-isnt-the-right-way-to-impress-a-date/653902/43 "2013-03-26T18:40:49Z")

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> [@Gagundathar](#):
>
> Mine involved saving her from being beaten up by a bully.  
> I was 10 or so.
> 
> I feel… so ashamed.
> 
> 😉

But Encyclopedia Brown figured out th–

Waitaminute, didn’t I just do this one?

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