# Guys – Want to Know What \*Really\* Turns Women On? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 13, 2005, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683 "2005-05-13T14:59:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/61 "2005-05-13T22:58:10Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > In my opinion, looks are important only so much as the two people involved are on the same level of attractiveness, and I think if you look around you’ll find this true. My husband and I are both not ugly, but we’re not gorgeous, either - we are very much on the same level of attractiveness. Now where does this leave us unattractive people? Am I doomed to date only ugly guys? ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/62 "2005-05-13T23:56:13Z")
Not particularly. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/63 "2005-05-14T00:15:30Z")
Most of us pretty much know what turns you on… The tough part is determining whether you’re available and/or interested. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/64 "2005-05-14T00:51:19Z")
Well, I’m blue eyed, well versed in massage and current events, and have a “radio voice”. Does that help? Tripler Oh, I’m well traveled, too. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/65 "2005-05-14T03:38:37Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > Well, I’m blue eyed, well versed in massage and current events, and have a “radio voice”. Does that help? Hey, I’ve got a “radio face”! ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/66 "2005-05-14T04:26:59Z")
Like **Kytheria** , intelligence in a man _really_ turns me on. If a guy can engage me in intelligent conversation, not patronise me, has a sense of humour that’s just a smidgen too sarcsatic and evil, I’ll be like putty in his hands. The voice helps too. A Scotsman with the above qualities will have me jumping him, particularly if he’ll be whispering sweet nothings in my ear a little later. _swoons_ ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/67 "2005-05-14T04:39:10Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Everytime there’s a thread like this, I get convinced that I should be more socially successful than I am. I submit, then, that the sample here is non-representative of the real world! Ah, but this is the sub-sample we want! And…whose faces we can’t see ☹ Any 26yo hotties about Tokyo? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/68 "2005-05-14T05:33:13Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > The tough part is determining whether you’re available and/or interested. Nah, figuring out interest is easy. Availability is what’s really interesting. ---
**Author:** ![empty\_filing\_cabinet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@empty\_filing\_cabinet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/empty_filing_cabinet)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/69 "2005-05-14T05:41:48Z")
> [@Darwin's Finch](#): > > It has been my experience that looks, above all else, are what determines “sexiness” … So, yeah, what women _say_ they think is sexy is all fine and well - but what they seem to really mean is all that PLUS good looks. Yes, women are fundamentally irrational and more or less controlled by their genetics and programming. As you can see [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=316382), and [over here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/index.php?) more generally. They can’t help it. (Then again, are you also, and can you?) But fortunately, there is considerable variation within the species. With a name like Darwin’s Finch, you should know that. (Some men are true romantics. But women aren’t, they’re mostly just insane. That’s why marriage is called an “institution.” :)) ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/70 "2005-05-14T06:26:57Z")
> [@empty filing cabinet](#): > > Yes, women are fundamentally irrational and more or less controlled by their genetics and programming. > > \ > > (Some men are true romantics. But women aren’t, they’re mostly just insane. That’s why marriage is called an “institution.” :)) I am intrigued by your ideas, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/45deac/32.png) [@Evil\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_One)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/71 "2005-05-14T13:32:25Z")
> [@UrbanChic](#): > > I don’t know what turns other women on as most of the things in the OP’s list do little for me (shopping with mom?), but I can tell you the one thing that takes you from being meh to starring in some rather naughty dreams of mine: a wicked, twisted, somewhat sarcastic, just-this-side-of-naughty, sharp sense of humor. Here I am. Rock me like a hurricane. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/72 "2005-05-14T13:48:02Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Baby shmaby. You just want all the chyx to know you’re involved in an activity that “is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity or neglect.” > > (Come to think of it, that could apply equally as well to baby-chewing as to aviation…) Nah, the baby photos just don’t work without the text. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/73 "2005-05-14T14:05:23Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Nah, figuring out interest is easy. Availability is what’s really interesting. Really? I find that when there is interest, there is usually availability. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/74 "2005-05-14T14:10:05Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Really? I find that when there is interest, there is usually availability. Wow, have YOU been lucky. My experience has been that where there’s interest, there’s a 50% chance of availability. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/75 "2005-05-14T14:37:54Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > Wow, have YOU been lucky. My experience has been that where there’s interest, there’s a 50% chance of availability. I have an acquintance who recently married a woman with whom I have an incredible mutual connection on many levels. We avoid eachother as much as possible without being or appearing rude. I’m just not willing to go down _that_ road. I’ve just contradicted myself, haven’t I… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/76 "2005-05-14T15:08:19Z")
> [@AntaresJB](#): > > Now where does this leave us unattractive people? Am I doomed to date only ugly guys? Nope - you’ll date guys that _you_ find attractive. Like I said earlier, my husband and I are no super-models, but I think he’s gorgeous, and he obviously thinks I’m pretty good looking, too. **empty filing cabinet** , your links made no sense, and neither does your post. Did you have something to add to this discussion other than insulting and incorrect generalizations? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/77 "2005-05-14T15:28:42Z")
> [@Aangelica](#): > > …an unfortunate tendancy towards flatulence… And people bitch about having to pay for this message board! Where else would you get a chance to start a Saturday off by reading the phrase, “an unfortunate tendancy towards flatulance”? That’s damn funny! Protests here to the contrary, **Darwin’s Finch** has a valid point. Due to the accident of me having two extremely attractive parents and the nature of genetics, I’ve always been considered to be a good looking guy. Then my grandmother (rest in peace) forced me to take social dancing lessions at a stage in my life when I thought touching a _girl_ was icky. Turned out I had the knack for dancing. Armed with the above, it’s always been very easy for me to make a female’s acquaintance, get a first date and all that. Now!, the vast majority of these deals didn’t work out in the long run. Compatability issues and so forth. Probably **D.F.** would have appealed to many of these women much more than I did, if they had given him a chance. But **D.F.** and I both know that it’s a hella lot easier for me to get an opportunity with a female than it is for him. Y’all may proclaim a love for geekiness and “looks don’t matter” and such, but how many times do you brush a stranger off because he’s not attractive? How many times does a different stranger that’s physically attractive get a chance with you do entirely to his appearance? It has been my observation that this happens a lot. That’s not a complaint about females, either. Guys do the same thing. If the coolest girl in the bar ain’t exactly pretty, her coolness is likely to go unrecognized while lesser personalities with greater “hotness” are chased all evening. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/78 "2005-05-14T15:47:18Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > The “shopping with Mom” thing tells me that this guy is confident enough in himself to not care that shopping with Mom isn’t the coolest thing in the world. It also says that he is somewhat mature - from what I’ve heard, teenage boys would rather die than be seen with their moms. Even though half the time I don’t like shopping with Mum because of her insane, meandering diatribes, I have no inhibitions on shopping with her with regards to “coolness.” Although she acts weak and helpless all the time while being a fairly inshape woman, sometimes she needs some help getting larger items. Then again, we at The Dope are fairly selective and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/79 "2005-05-14T15:50:35Z")
> [@empty filing cabinet](#): > > Yes, women are fundamentally irrational and more or less controlled by their genetics and programming. As you can see [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=316382), and [over here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/index.php?) more generally. They can’t help it. (Then again, are you also, and can you?) But fortunately, there is considerable variation within the species. With a name like Darwin’s Finch, you should know that. I am, of course, well aware of that. That’s why I feel these threads about “what women _really_ want” well, ring not-so-true. These are all icing on the proverbial cake, not “all it takes to win a woman’s heart”. If you don’t have looks, being the best foot masseur in the world still aint’ gonna get you anywhere near a woman’s feet (unless it happens to be your job…). My point was simply that there are those of us whose looks preclude any bit of personality mattering in the slightest (as far as “turning a woman on” goes). We are the type who are doomed to remain in the “friends” category with women, and are unlikely to ever be placed in the “wants to have hot monkey sex with” category. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683/80 "2005-05-14T15:59:46Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Nope - you’ll date guys that _you_ find attractive. Except…not. I find plenty, if not most, women attractive. _None_, as in _not a single one, ever_, have found me physically attractive. Those who actually do take the time to get to know me…become friends. Sometimes very good friends. But the relationship never evolves into a romantic one because, on their own admission, there is a lack of “chemistry”, despite having much in common. Surely, my situation is not unique. Because if it is, then that makes this thread _truly_ depressing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-want-to-know-what-really-turns-women-on/303683.md?page=5)