# Guys, what is your other hand doing while you're peeing? (TMI, probably)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 3, 2007, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314 "2007-07-03T03:12:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/41 "2007-07-03T15:55:02Z")

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[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever]  
If it helps you any, you can use my wang to make a 1970s Dick Ray.  
[/QUOTE]

Eww, but then I’d have to touch it! Cooties!

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**Author:** ![Miscue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@Miscue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miscue)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/42 "2007-07-03T15:59:33Z")

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Typing this.

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**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/43 "2007-07-03T16:00:43Z")

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[QUOTE=Telperien]  
Eww, but then I’d have to touch it! Cooties!  
[/QUOTE]

Well, you’d have to get much longer fingers so you can wrap a fist around it, but yeah, you’d have to touch it!

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/44 "2007-07-03T16:07:26Z")

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[QUOTE=scotandrsn]  
Could be a number of things…

Giving a High Five  
Flicking a Cigarette  
Giving Peace Sign  
Playing a Piano

…what have you…  
[/QUOTE]

Excellent! Now I’m giggling like a very silly person.

- Hailing a taxi cab \*

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**Author:** ![Like\_Fry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@Like\_Fry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Like_Fry)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/45 "2007-07-03T16:08:07Z")

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Hmmm, Depends on which hand I happen to be holding with (Gattica was wrong, lol). Sometimes I hold with the right and brace myself on the wall with my left (generally only at home and when I am undressed ). Or I hold with my left and use the right to hold clothing out of the way (this is my preferred method, though I am right handed). Sometimes I hold with the right and use the left to hold the clothing out of the way. I am also very anal about lifting the toilett seat and putting it down again (down again at home, but tend to leave work’s seat up, men only restroom and as far as I know Im the only guy I know who doesnt pee on everything(though if its a unisex restroom I put the seat back down)).  
Fry

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**Author:** ![frog\_princess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6bbea6/32.png) [@frog\_princess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frog_princess)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/46 "2007-07-03T16:10:47Z")

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[QUOTE=Soul]  
Honest answer, I enjoy making a fist with the other hand and pretending I’m straining to shoot a 1920’s style Death Ray from my wang.  
[/QUOTE]

Thank you **Soul**. I almost choked on my pbj. 😃

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/47 "2007-07-03T16:13:32Z")

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I was raised to show good manners.

Therefore, I’m usually helping out the guy at the urinal to the left of me.  
😛

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**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/48 "2007-07-03T16:37:02Z")

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[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever]  
Well, you’d have to get much longer fingers so you can wrap a fist around it, but yeah, you’d have to touch it!  
[/QUOTE]

I am too weak from lack of lunch to be able to make the proper joke.

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**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/49 "2007-07-03T16:40:29Z")

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[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya]  
Excellent! Now I’m giggling like a very silly person.

- Hailing a taxi cab \*  
[/QUOTE]

Damn! I knew I forgot one!

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**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/50 "2007-07-03T16:40:54Z")

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Waving.

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**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/51 "2007-07-03T16:47:48Z")

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Pulling the parachute’s rip cord.

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**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/52 "2007-07-03T16:56:21Z")

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drivin’ me nuts. Arrrrrrr.

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**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/53 "2007-07-03T17:01:30Z")

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[QUOTE=Telperien]  
I am too weak from lack of lunch to be able to make the proper joke.  
[/QUOTE]

Woohoo! I win!

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**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/54 "2007-07-03T17:02:20Z")

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[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever]  
Woohoo! I win!  
[/QUOTE]

Sure, think that if you want. You’re the one with the cooties.

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**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/55 "2007-07-03T17:03:31Z")

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[QUOTE=Telperien]  
Sure, think that if you want. You’re the one with the cooties.  
[/QUOTE]

Says you. You’re the girl. _You’ve_ got the cooties.

I have anticooties. Be jealous.

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**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/56 "2007-07-03T17:09:03Z")

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[QUOTE=Telperien]  
You win the thread.  
[/QUOTE]

While that was quite funny, I have to disagree. **Skald the Rhymer** nearly had me fall out of my chair.

As for me, the other hand is holding the oars.

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**Author:** ![cards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@cards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cards)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/57 "2007-07-03T18:58:15Z")

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Here is one alternative:

[![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjwmN3-VHyQ)

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**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/58 "2007-07-03T19:59:10Z")

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[QUOTE=betenoir]  
Hmmmm…I’m decideding who here to date. Rick sounds good. Should take at least two hands. Boyo Jim sounds even better but I don’t hold it till the the third date.

And Lakia sounds like fun if he’s willing to share…  
[/QUOTE]

So ah, how you doing?

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**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/59 "2007-07-03T20:20:34Z")

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Holding my nuts up so they don’t dangle in the toilet/urinal.

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**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\
**Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-what-is-your-other-hand-doing-while-youre-peeing-tmi-probably/410314/60 "2007-07-03T20:28:06Z")

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[QUOTE=gotpasswords]  
Holding my nuts up so they don’t dangle in the toilet/urinal.  
[/QUOTE]  
Brief hijack: Two fellows standing on a bridge draining into the river. First one says, “Water’s cold today.” Second one, not to be out done, says, “Yeah, and deep.”

When I worked at a call center I had a good friend who told me that joke. Every time we’d find ourselves at the urinal at the same time, he’d say. “Water’s cold today.” It cracked me up too much to make the correct reply.

[We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread about men holding their penises.]

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