# Guys: Would you be jealous about this? \[Adult Content\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 12, 2005, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877 "2005-10-12T11:56:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/21 "2005-10-12T14:06:41Z")
I am telling you this as a woman: being with a guy who is too large to suck or fuck is NO FUN. At best it’s unsatisfying, and worst it’s painful. I have no idea how your girlfriend presented this encounter to you (or why), but I can almost guarantee that what pleasure she got out of it was purely in the “holy shit, this is like something out of a porno” variety. I’m hazarding a guess that the reason this bothers you more than the rest of her sexual history is that long-term relationships are normal, healthy, even moral. A stand-alone episode with a big-dicked guy in a youth hostel toilet is “slutty.” It’s hard to see your love as a slut, and it hurts you to imagine her behaving that way. But MOST women behave like sluts from time to time, just like most men do. Sex is fun, she was unattached, it was a fling. Let it stay in her past and honor her for the woman she is now. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/22 "2005-10-12T14:07:35Z")
I honestly don’t understand what there is to be jealous of. Do you think she wishes YOU were so big she couldn’t have sex with you? You think she’s sublty hinting, like John F seems to be thinking, that she wants you to go out a buy a dildo so big she can’t use it? Honestly, what’s the big deal? She told you about a guy she not only didn’t, but COULDN’T have sex with. Oh no, boo hoo. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/23 "2005-10-12T14:08:17Z")
You shouldn’t be depressed. Back then, she had a wild, slutty experience with Commander Uberschwantz that sticks in her memory. Now she has you. The Human Tripod gave her what she needed then, and now you are here to provide what she needs now. At the time, she needed white hot, knockdown drag-out monkey sex. Now whe needs security and a paycheck and somebody to watch the kids and rub her feet. Whatever Lord Batter Ram may doing now, I bet he doesn’t have that. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/24 "2005-10-12T14:12:09Z")
But, **Scumpup** , what you seem to be missing is that per the OP the Human Tripod DIDN’T give her what she needed then. At the time what she needed was a dick the size of **Reuben’s**. So what’s to be jealous of? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/25 "2005-10-12T14:15:57Z")
Didn’t he? I’m guessing that, somehow, they managed. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/26 "2005-10-12T14:17:58Z")
> [@ReubenH](#): > > If your SO told you of a sexual encounter she’d had some years before you met, which took place in a toilet in a youth hostel, where the man whom she’d just met that evening and would never see again was so spectacularly well-endowed that not only could she not fit him inside her, she couldn’t fellate so much as the head of it… So, basically the sexual encounter was limited to a hand job at best? She just told you that a fun-sized wang is better than a huge one, because it can do the job. It’s no fun having a humvee if it’s too wide for the two-track! ---
**Author:** ![ReubenH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a6a055/32.png) [@ReubenH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReubenH)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/27 "2005-10-12T14:25:21Z")
> [@mr bus guy](#): > > **That** was your SO? > > Tell her I said hi. 😉 Hee! Thanks **mr bus guy** , that’s the best laugh I’ve had in quite a while! 🙂🙂🙂 To those wondering how this came up… there were 2 or 3 of occasions a couple of months into the relationship where she insisted on discussing this sort of thing at length. “Full disclosure” she called it, though two years on I know it fell a bit short of that. She just wanted to know every last detail of my sexual history, and felt compelled to recite lots of hers. It made me profoundly uncomfortable at the time, but I was utterly infatuated with her and would have suffered anything. > [@Dragwyr](#): > > YOU are providing what she wants now. You have all the qualities she has ever looked for in a guy and those outweigh what Mr. Hung-Like-A-Horse could ever give her. > > If Mrs. D were to give me a similar story, I would feel like I was the winner because she chose me over everyone else. I wish I could feel that way. She’s had two kids, put on three stone and had one failed marriage since then, and she strongly feels she isn’t the drop-dead gorgeous stunner she once was. None of that bothers me one jot, but it does bother her. Everything points to me being not Mr Right, but Mr Best-I-Think-I-Can-Get-In-The-Circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![archmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@archmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/archmichael)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/28 "2005-10-12T14:25:47Z")
I’m a guy, and it wouldn’t bother me. But I’m not very typical and I feel like a broken record on this board subject with my “Love is love, sex is sex” philosophy > [@WhyNot](#): > > It doesn’t sound to me like it’s so much the Biggus Dickus (although sure, that rankles), as the sexual - uh - wantoness - that’s bothering you. There’s not much to say but “get over it” if you want to continue in a marriage with this woman. It would be nice to tell her you’re bothered and don’t want details of her sexual exploits so she doesn’t tell you something like this (or even worse!) in the future, though. I would agree with **WhyNot**. Seems like the big dick part bothers you, but the bigger issue is the fact that she wanted this big dick so badly she did it with a guy she barely knew, in a bathroom stall and still remembers it fondly. And of course you’re worried what will happen if she happens to feel particularly frisky and she happens to bump into a guy with a third leg. Will she need it so badly she’ll risk your relationship to have it? I am curious how this subject even came up. Also was this before or after her previous marriage? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/29 "2005-10-12T14:26:15Z")
I’m willing to bet dollars to donuts that 98% of the time when this story comes up in relationships it’s because the man says some insecure thing wanting validation of his penis size, and the woman says something along the lines of “trust me, hon. Yours is perfect. There \*is \*such a thing as too big and it ain’t fun!” And penis, of course, ensues. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/30 "2005-10-12T14:29:16Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > So, basically the sexual encounter was limited to a hand job at best? She just told you that a fun-sized wang is better than a huge one, because it can do the job. It’s no fun having a humvee if it’s too wide for the two-track! Limited to just a handjob? Only if both she and Rex the Wonder Horse were both completely lacking in imagination. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/31 "2005-10-12T14:29:38Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Didn’t he? I’m guessing that, somehow, they managed. Given that she said they didn’t your guess might be wrong… ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/32 "2005-10-12T14:30:06Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > So, basically the sexual encounter was limited to a hand job at best? Nope, couldn’t even get a hand around it! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/33 "2005-10-12T14:35:26Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > Given that she said they didn’t your guess might be wrong… Where do you get that she said they didn’t? As per the OP, King Dong was > [@](#): > > so spectacularly well-endowed that not only could she not fit him inside her, she couldn’t fellate so much as the head of it… There’s nothing in there to indicate that since tab A was too large for slot B that they didn’t manage to come up with an outside the box solution. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/34 "2005-10-12T14:36:06Z")
I don’t see why any guy should have a problem with any attribute of their S/O’s past liasons. And wang size is probably the silliest the thing to get your Fruit of the Looms knotted. If she has carnal knowledge of (let’s say) 50 guys in her past, the odds are 20-some odd were bigger than you and 20-some odd were smaller. With the exception of one man on the entire planet, for the other +/-2 billion others, there’s always someone out there who’s bigger. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/35 "2005-10-12T14:37:34Z")
[hijack] Jeebus–the ads are all for sex offenders and molestation support groups. [/hijack] :eek: I think what might be going on is IF she is feeling not so attractive etc–she is looking back at her former self with sadness, nostalgia and wistfulness. She might be thinking, where did that impetuous, carefree slightly slutty girl go? You are just in the way, so to speak. I am guessing, but I think she might be missing the risk taker, funlover that she once was. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/36 "2005-10-12T14:38:21Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Where do you get that she said they didn’t? As per the OP, King Dong was > > There’s nothing in there to indicate that since tab A was too large for slot B that they didn’t manage to come up with an outside the box solution. Well yes but as she couldn’t fuck him OR suck him said outside solution was a handjob at best. What fun. ---
**Author:** ![ReubenH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a6a055/32.png) [@ReubenH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReubenH)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/37 "2005-10-12T14:39:00Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Now she needs security and a paycheck and somebody to watch the kids and rub her feet. You’re psychic! :eek: I adore her kids and don’t mind watching them whenever, but I’m rubbing her feet pretty much every night (she has Plantar Fasciitis). That pretty much sums me up! ---
**Author:** ![archmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@archmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/archmichael)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/38 "2005-10-12T14:42:31Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > Given that she said they didn’t your guess might be wrong… Of course there is a school of thought that believes that most women will always downplay their sexual exploits. The whole “Divide by three” rule. “I only slept with three guys” ------\> “I really slept with 9 guys and gave about 15 guys blowjobs” So in this case she could be telling the truth, or she actually deep throated the guy and they did EVERYTHING ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/39 "2005-10-12T14:43:03Z")
Yeah, it’s easy to sit here and be all logical about it. . .“well, that was in the past, she’s with you now”, and “he was too big for a good time anyway”. But certain things can dwell on the mind. You just can’t erase them. And an image of your SO in the Bathroom Stall with Colonel Mustard and his Lead Pipe is one of them. Whether it’s rational or not is beside the point. Since it most assuredly DOES bother some people, and since the benefits of such a discussion are basically non-existent, it’s a topic that should be avoided. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/40 "2005-10-12T14:47:04Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > Well yes but as she couldn’t fuck him OR suck him said outside solution was a handjob at best. What fun. We’re back to the handjob again… I can think of _at least_ three or four other things they could have done there on the spot. More if they had some kind of lubricant. Ye gods, man, have you never perused The Kama Sutra or viewed a bit of porn? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877.md?page=3)