# Guys: Would you be jealous about this? \[Adult Content\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 12, 2005, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877 "2005-10-12T11:56:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/121 "2005-10-16T03:57:31Z")
> [@Yookeroo](#): > > I can’t say I’d be much bothered, quite the opposite. But then, I’m the type that wants to hear all about any girlfriend’s sexual history in all its kinky detail. I find it a turn-on. > > They couldn’t fuck and no blow-job? Probably had to resort to anal. 😃 That’s where my mind went. Can she manage a nice high-C toot, or does it sound like a wind whipped canvas awning? If the latter, then she met Uncle Remus in the loo and he slipped her the Big Bad Pipsisewah. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/122 "2005-10-16T04:12:37Z")
> [@ReubenH](#): > > 1. **Dick size matters** , at least some of the time. I don’t know why I feel this way, and I know it’s shallow and stupid and wrong for any number of reasons, but if I’m totally honest, yeah, I really _don’t_ like the feeling of having been “outgunned in the business department” as someone here put it. I’m sure that must make me a prat to a lot of people, but I can’t help it. That’s how it feels. I wouldn’t feel guilty, I think men really get mixed signals with this. I would say I hear “size does matter” about as many times as “size doesn’t matter”. Off-topic, but I would like to ask our own SDMB members here from Schlongolia, are there reduction surgeries? Would you get one if you could? ---
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/123 "2005-10-16T04:14:36Z")
Another thing **RuebenH** , you seem like a nice fella, hope you stick around. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/124 "2005-10-16T09:39:44Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > Eep. You’re putting up with this woman’s shit, listening to her tales of Typhoon Longwang, handing out the footrubs, being accused of philandering and generally being her emotional punchbag because _you like her kids_? Mate, she’s got you right where she wants you: being a nice guy is one thing, but they don’t hand out prizes for martyrdom. > > You say you “need to be needed” by them and are “addicted to the tremendous affection”: so what happens when she dumps you for a new toy? Or starts cheating again and tells you to suck it up or leave? You mentioned earlier that she hasn’t been in a relationship where she _hasn’t_ cheated, so you letting her walk all over you isn’t improving your odds - you won’t get visitation rights with her kids, you know. This is good advice, I know women who follow this path. They are looking for daddies for their children or saviours. Do not mistake them for women who are happy alone. I have been a widow for 12-ish years, a widow (not a celibate). My child has been happily unaware of my sexual life. He has also been happily blessed with not having had a series of “daddies”. There are many many solo mum’s looking for A man, Any man. The big dick story may be a test. The ginormous dick story rarely has a happy ending. Perhaps she wants to see that you are man enough to get past the 'huge dick story". For the record HUGE dicks ARE NOT fun. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/125 "2005-10-16T10:41:59Z")
> [@Balduran](#): > > I think men really get mixed signals with this. I would say I hear “size does matter” about as many times as “size doesn’t matter”. Well, size is like money: it isn’t everything, but none isn’t anything. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/126 "2005-10-16T16:45:50Z")
> [@Balduran](#): > > Off-topic, but I would like to ask our own SDMB members here from Schlongolia, are there reduction surgeries? Would you get one if you could? Wife #1 was a medical researcher who had the researcher’s passion for measurement and quantifying. I shit you not, she produced a tape measure whilst orally pleasuring me early in our relationship. While it was interesting and gratifying to find out that I am near the right toe of the bell curve, it did rather kill the mood for me. (Why am I sharing this with all of you?) The ladies with whom it has been my privilege to engage in the warm commerce have indicated that size _does_ matter, but there is also too much of a good thing. I guess I must be from Outer Schlongolia. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/127 "2005-10-16T17:23:38Z")
Perhaps it would be fair to say that size _does_ matter, but that doesn’t mean that bigger is better. In the same way that men may think that a girls breast size matters, it doesn’t follow that they want someone with an EE chest. It’s all about being the _right_ size. ---
**Author:** ![Taran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Taran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taran)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/128 "2005-10-16T20:02:40Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > …analysis snipped… > Thus we are forced to conclude that the tale of Cubicle Man’s cock does not in fact strain credulity, although it may well strain a lot of other things. I nominate **Case Sensitive** for the **Mangeorge** Award for Heroism in the Fight against Ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/129 "2005-10-16T21:06:31Z")
> [@Taran](#): > > I nominate **Case Sensitive** for the **Mangeorge** Award for Heroism in the Fight against Ignorance. I’m flattered. What’s **Mangeorge** ’s claim to fame? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/130 "2005-10-16T21:49:31Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > I’m flattered. What’s **Mangeorge** ’s claim to fame? [Pan-fried semen.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=198659&highlight=fried+semen) ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/131 "2005-10-16T22:23:58Z")
Dayum. Wish I hadn’t slept through metric class back in grade school… Well done, **casesenstivie**! (also, could the difficulty you had lie partly in that most of your experimental objects were rigid? --no jokes here, smarties! Personally, I would find a glass bottle to be harder to hold in my mouth than say a cucumber or deli bread roll). ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/132 "2005-10-16T22:25:27Z")
can’t type today-sorry I mangled your name. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/133 "2005-10-17T01:24:44Z")
> [@JohnBckWLD](#): > > I don’t see why any guy should have a problem with any attribute of their S/O’s past liasons. And wang size is probably the silliest the thing to get your Fruit of the Looms knotted. > > If she has carnal knowledge of (let’s say) 50 guys in her past, the odds are 20-some odd were bigger than you and 20-some odd were smaller. With the exception of **one man on the entire planet** , for the other +/-2 billion others, there’s always someone out there who’s bigger. Alright, you found me. No fanmail, please. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/134 "2005-10-17T11:28:23Z")
> [@](#): > > **Fish** > As for the poster who said that the best way to deal with uncomfortable conversations is to get up and leave the room, I say don’t. That’s not how adults communicate. Oh yeah? OH YEAH? \ ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/135 "2005-10-17T20:29:59Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Well, he has a huge John Henry. 😛 But is he a steel drivin’ man? ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/136 "2005-10-17T21:12:13Z")
I remember some sort of survey in a women’s mag recently where they had some gents wear T-shirts with their penis sizes printed on the front to see which ones had more luck chatted up the ladies. All the women when later interviewed, said that 9 inches was far too much, but the 9-inch guy had the most luck in chatting them up. So it would seem that there are women do have some interest in having a spectacular toy even if there’s no practical way to use it. I would guess that Reuben’s gal may have a bit of a problem in valuing herself based on the spectacularity of her sexual exploits, and I think I even detect a bit of competition there. Poor Reuben must be thinking “should I ask her to shop at grocery stores that don’t have restrooms?” Reuben, I think it’s natural for you to be a bit angry and jealous. And I don’t think this is the last time you’ll be subjected to such juvenile… well, I guess I have to say… dick-measuring contests. (It’s difficult to write seriously with so many puns mocking from the shadows). If you can let things like this blow past, or at least express your consternation in a calm, adult manner, I think it will be OK. ---
**Author:** ![constantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@constantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/constantine)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/137 "2005-10-17T21:26:13Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > As for the poster who said that the best way to deal with uncomfortable conversations is to _get up and leave the room_, I say don’t. That’s not how adults communicate. Adults communicate by making it clear that they expect to be treated with respect. Nothing about being an “adult” requires you to sit and listen to someone cruelly try to manipulate you by playing on your insecurities. If an “uncomfortable conversation” stems from a sincere effort to address an uncomfortable issue, and it’s handled with respect to the feelings of both parties, then I agree that an adult should not just get up and walk out of the room. ON THE OTHER HAND, in a situation like the one described in the OP, where a girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever, is telling you–unsolicited–about past sexual escapades, then I think that is completely out of line. When faced with this kind of disrespectful action, you need to make clear to the other person that you mean business and you will not be treated this way. In almost every case, the best way to do this is to withdraw from the situation. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/138 "2005-10-18T02:08:43Z")
> [@constantine](#): > > Adults communicate by making it clear that they expect to be treated with respect. > Nothing about being an “adult” requires you to sit and listen to someone cruelly try to manipulate you by playing on your insecurities. You’re absolutely spot on with your second sentence, but you presume that the first sentence happened. > [@](#): > > ON THE OTHER HAND, in a situation like the one described in the OP, where a girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever, is telling you–unsolicited–about past sexual escapades, then I think that is completely out of line. Getting up and leaving the room would **only** be an acceptable alternative if the listener, **Reuben** in this case, made it crystal clear **in words** that the conversation was hurting him, and that the talker continued to talk about it anyway. Nowhere in **ReubenH** ’s testimony does he say he told her he was uncomfortable or made his wishes clear. He says he **was** uncomfortable but he listened anyway. Nowhere does he say that he emphatically said how much the discussions hurt him. All he said was that his girlfriend “insisted” on telling him these things. ---
**Author:** ![constantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@constantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/constantine)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/139 "2005-10-18T06:10:37Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > Getting up and leaving the room would **only** be an acceptable alternative if the listener, **Reuben** in this case, made it crystal clear **in words** that the conversation was hurting him, and that the talker continued to talk about it anyway. > > Nowhere in **ReubenH** ’s testimony does he say he told her he was uncomfortable or made his wishes clear. He says he **was** uncomfortable but he listened anyway. Nowhere does he say that he emphatically said how much the discussions hurt him. All he said was that his girlfriend “insisted” on telling him these things. Look, **ReubenH** , obviously it’s your life, and obviously you need to live it the way you want. I’m not going to tell you what’s “acceptable” or not based on your “testimony.” I am going to tell you that, in my opinion, what you described does not sound to me like a simple misunderstanding, and it does not sound to me like you are over reacting. As I, and several other posters have said, based on what you said, it sounds to me like your SO was, perhaps subconsciously (but frankly I doubt it was subconscious), deliberately trying to make you feel bad by giving you a graphic description of previous sexual exploits. I don’t see what possible good purpose could be served by “insisting” on telling you this story. **Fish** , for one, clearly wants to give your SO more benefit of the doubt. To each their own. But I say that what you, **ReubenH** described was a hostile act, akin to her slapping you in the face. And if someone I am dating were to slap me in the face, I would not feel the need to “make it crystal clear in words” that that was uncool. I would withdraw from the situation and make it clear with my actions that I would not put up with it. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2005, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877/140 "2005-10-18T06:50:17Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > You shouldn’t be depressed. Back then, she had a wild, slutty experience with Commander Uberschwantz that sticks in her memory. Now she has you. The Human Tripod gave her what she needed then, and now you are here to provide what she needs now. At the time, she needed white hot, knockdown drag-out monkey sex. Now whe needs security and a paycheck and somebody to watch the kids and rub her feet. Whatever Lord Batter Ram may doing now, I bet he doesn’t have that. Well, let me put on my Evolutionary Psychologist Dunce Cap here and say that you’re exactly onto why this is bothering **ReubenH** so much but you’re also exactly wrong to dismiss it. Okay, so women want to procure both resources for their offspring and genetically attractive semen for their uteruses while men are generally looking to impregnate as many women as humanly possible to provide the greatest overall spreading of their genes. Men have an innate desire to know that their mates are sexually highly selective, it helps to ensure that they are the father of the kids she does have with “him.” Society, or at least conservative society, is representative of this through the sexual double standard and saying that sex is bad except in marriage, and giving a hierarchy of badness to sex outside of marriage. Sex with your 3 year old long term relationship? Bad. Sex on the third date? Worse. A one night stand with a guy with a huge dick on top of a hostel toilet? Really bad. “Slutty.” Look at the number of cultures and times that valued a virgin bride so highly. This isn’t all just the Puritanical Anglo Hegemony. So, you’ve accepted the fact that she has kids. This is fine, you’ll even devote some of your time and resources to them provided that she remains sexually faithful to you and you’ll get a chance at her uterus sometime. When her new kids come along, you’ll care about them a lot more than your step-kids, and at this point you’ve seen the contract and settled for it. Nw you’ve learned that not only does she have kids, she has the willingness to fuck some guy in a hostel bathroom because he has a huge dick. Basically, she’ll take his sperm and your footrubs and paycheck, thank you very much. What **Scumpup** has described you as, in less PC terms, is a little bitch, and you don’t like it. You’re wondering, hey, why cannot I go be the random guy knocking up girls in a hostel bathroom while some other guy supports the offspring and I can go have more anonymous sex? You’ve discovered that she’s a slut, and her reproductive value to you is reduced. You’re reconsidering the contract downwards. I fully empathize and understand why you feel, “eaten up,” by this in a way that, frankly, no offese to other posters here, the women that have posted prior cannot really understand. What should you do about it? I don’t know. Everything above is your reptilian brain, and you’re probably smarter than that. Life isn’t all about evolutionary psychology anymore, so frankly, you should probably tell her not to share anymore amusing anecdotes like this one and suck it up. Move on, and in time you’ll forgive her and have the great relationship you had before. Oh god, now I feel dirty. Will someone page **msmith357** for me, I think he might be the one to cover me as I duck and run out of this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-be-jealous-about-this-adult-content/325877.md?page=8)