# Guys~Would you spank her? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 29, 2011, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122 "2011-04-29T04:03:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/21 "2011-04-29T09:17:43Z")
I don’t know, not really into that sort of thing. I guess I would but would feel uncomfortable and a bit silly doing it. ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/22 "2011-04-29T10:58:22Z")
“Spank my ass and pull my hair!” Didn’t turn out too well initially because I didn’t realise she meant the hair on her head! oops! ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/23 "2011-04-29T11:21:36Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I’ve never dated a girl who /didn’t/ like to be spanked. Yeah, same here. Most wanted just a light spanking, but the last g/f damn near wanted beatings; spankings and belt-whippings that raised bloody welts, hard slapping on the face, etc. Same with biting; they all have wanted biting, mostly light nipping, but a few wanted me to break their skin. I’ve also been surprised, like **TheWhoToTheWhatNow** , at how many want to be choked. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/24 "2011-04-29T11:22:03Z")
> [@Khaki\_Campbell](#): > > Yeah, whatever. If she asks. But it wouldn’t stop me from laughing inside at the ridiculousness of it. She isn’t done with her Elektra complex. Pretty much same here, except the laughter would be directed at myself. If she asks then she gets, whatever gets her off really. But I’d feel self-conscious and ridiculous the whole time. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/25 "2011-04-29T14:27:31Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Sure, I’d at least give it a shot. Not my kink - inflicting pain or embarrassment does nothing for me - but I’ve got my own quirks, and fair is fair. Hey, maybe I’d find I like it after all. Exactly. I’ve got things I like that she probably wouldn’t get anything out of, so I’d do the same for her. That’s my philosophy for nearly everything except something that would put me in danger, with the further exception of anything that would involve another person. EDIT: I’d also leave out out anything that put her in danger, but that’s not as absolute, if it’s danger she wants. I’ll let her decide her own comfortable risk level. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/26 "2011-04-29T14:38:31Z")
> [@Ladymarmalade](#): > > If you’re single, say you were dating a woman you liked enough to date, and she asked you for an erotic spanking. > > Or, if you’re married, your wife asked you for an erotic spanking. > > Would you do it? I have dated women who liked to be spanked. It was not something that I thought I would enjoy, but with one woman I did it and I confess that found it arousing. Oddly though, it disturbs me that I find it arousing. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/27 "2011-04-29T15:06:58Z")
I would like to spank my wife more than I have. I also want to tie her up, chibari style, and maybe leave her strapped to a bed on a spreader bar too. So far, all she’s really liked is the spanking on occasion, and lots and lots of choking. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/28 "2011-04-29T15:12:14Z")
I would. And I do. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/29 "2011-04-29T15:17:07Z")
I had a girlfriend for several years who was much into being spanked and also tied up. I did those things to accomadate her, but they were very much her kink and not mine. She got increasingly focused on the spankings, blindfoldings, being “forced” to dance nude, and other stuff to the detriment of the bumping uglies. I grew increasingly bored with all the playacting and this is one of the things that led to us splitting up. So, yeah, I’d spank her if she asked for it, but I’d monitor things for her getting too into it for my tastes. ---
**Author:** ![TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e4f/32.png) [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheWhoToTheWhatNow)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/30 "2011-04-29T18:42:15Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I had a girlfriend for several years who was much into being spanked and also tied up. I did those things to accomadate her, but they were very much her kink and not mine. She got increasingly focused on the spankings, blindfoldings, being “forced” to dance nude, and other stuff to the detriment of the bumping uglies. I grew increasingly bored with all the playacting and this is one of the things that led to us splitting up. > > So, yeah, I’d spank her if she asked for it, but I’d monitor things for her getting too into it for my tastes. This is one of the reasons I feel it’s important for people to do a little (safe) sleeping around when they’re younger. A lot of guys who haven’t been with many girls don’t realize that sexual incompatibility can be a big deal in the long-run if two partners have different views on what’s fun in the bedroom. You can get along awesomely outside of the bedroom but still be incompatible in bed. - TWTTWN ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/31 "2011-04-29T20:29:29Z")
Hell yeah. I dated a women who wanted me to rough her up. I said sorry I can’t do that, I’ll slap your ass real hard instead ,mkay ? ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/32 "2011-04-29T21:01:34Z")
> [@Student\_Driver](#): > > I’ve also been surprised, like **TheWhoToTheWhatNow** , at how many want to be choked. Recently surprised about this also. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/33 "2011-04-29T21:16:41Z")
Has she been a bad girl? I ask because it doesn’t matter. She wants a spanking all she has to do is ask for one. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/34 "2011-04-29T21:21:20Z")
Speaking as one of the few outliers who voted No, I wouldn’t do it. Because it is the sort of creepy weird that would turn me off more than it would turn her on. Pain and hitting have no association with sex in my playbook, and even the attempt to try it would probably put me off to the point that I either couldn’t, or wouldn’t want to proceed. If we were just dating, I don’t know if it would make me end the relationship or not. It depends on how badly she wanted me to do it, I suppose. If it is just a suggestion of something she wanted to try, that’s one thing. If she can’t get excited without it, that’s something else. Likewise for choking and tying anyone up, but even more so. Ick. I wonder if I will regret posting this. Oh well. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/35 "2011-04-29T21:55:12Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Poll results are closer than I would have expected. 123 to 4 is close? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/36 "2011-04-29T22:00:16Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > 123 to 4 is close? Yep. It’s a little closer than I expected, too. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/37 "2011-04-29T22:37:35Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Speaking as one of the few outliers who voted No, I wouldn’t do it. > > Because it is the sort of creepy weird that would turn me off more than it would turn her on. Pain and hitting have no association with sex in my playbook, and even the attempt to try it would probably put me off to the point that I either couldn’t, or wouldn’t want to proceed. > > If we were just dating, I don’t know if it would make me end the relationship or not. It depends on how badly she wanted me to do it, I suppose. If it is just a suggestion of something she wanted to try, that’s one thing. If she can’t get excited without it, that’s something else. > > Likewise for choking and tying anyone up, but even more so. Ick. > > I wonder if I will regret posting this. Oh well. > > Regards, > Shodan I voted “yes”, but I pretty much agree with this. I assumed “spanking” to mean very light slapping on the ass, which I’d be willing to do even if I found it somewhat juvenile. But the idea of mixing violence into sex generally makes me feel fairly ill. I have to say, at the risk of bragging, I’ve been around the block quite a bit, and I’ve never run into the wanting to be choked thing. Tying up, yes. One woman asked me to punch her, and that ended it right there. I’ve always found it sad that some people were unable to enjoy the most enjoyable experience there is without adding some twisted shit in there. Someone who wanted to be choked during sex I would just write off as fucked in the head. ---
**Author:** ![TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e4f/32.png) [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheWhoToTheWhatNow)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/38 "2011-04-29T22:46:52Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > I’ve been around the block quite a bit, and I’ve never run into the wanting to be choked thing. > > … > > I’ve always found it sad that some people were unable to enjoy the most enjoyable experience there is without adding some twisted shit in there. Someone who wanted to be choked during sex I would just write off as fucked in the head. That’s why you’ve never run into it. Women can tell when it’s safe to express those kinds of desires. Create a non-judgemental environment and girls will tell you some seriously fucked up shit haha Those Nancy Friday books aren’t bullshit. 🙂 > [@Me](#): > > I used to hook up with a virgin girl who I introduced to bondage because I could tell she responded well to being dominated in bed. We experimented with some stuff together for a few months and then she found a boyfriend. She’d complain to me that she has to break him into it super slowly and all they’re at is a little light “holding her down”. That guy will forever think he was the first one to tie her up, choke her, etc. down the road because she’s terrified he’ll think she’s a freak and leave her if she admits what she really wants in bed. My buddy and I have been with taken/married chicks who want us to do crazy shit with them that their vanilla/judgemental BFs/husbands won’t. - TWTTWN ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/39 "2011-04-29T23:09:58Z")
> [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](#): > > That’s why you’ve never run into it. Women can tell when it’s safe to express those kinds of desires. Create a non-judgemental environment and girls will tell you some seriously fucked up shit haha Those Nancy Friday books aren’t bullshit. 🙂 > > My buddy and I have been with taken/married chicks who want us to do crazy shit with them that their vanilla/judgemental BFs/husbands won’t. > > - TWTTWN I doubt it. As I said, I’ve had plenty of people bring up kinky things they wanted to do - I’m liberal in pretty much all respects, and have often encouraged partners to get dirty or share their fantasies. And I’ve had, as I said, women ask me to do something violent. It wasn’t until I said “no” that they realized I wasn’t into violence. But I, like pretty much everybody, have done quite a bit of “non-vanilla” (funny how that’s not considered judgmental) shit. But really, if I’m horny I want to fuck; mutual pleasure’s a given, but I don’t want sex to be therapy for you and your daddy issues. Most healthy people get over that bullshit in their 20s. Then again, I’m sure there are plenty of women out of their early 20s who want to be choked because their partners can’t satisfy them with plain old sex. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/40 "2011-04-29T23:12:17Z")
Answered “no”. I may do it the first time, but it doesn’t really excite me, and the best sex is doing stuff that gets both people’s motors running IMHO. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122.md?page=3)