# Guys~Would you spank her? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 29, 2011, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122 "2011-04-29T04:03:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e4f/32.png) [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheWhoToTheWhatNow)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/41 "2011-04-29T23:21:11Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > if I’m horny I want to fuck; mutual pleasure’s a given Doesn’t sound like it. Doesn’t seem like you care much what she wants unless it’s exactly what you approve of. > [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > but I don’t want sex to be therapy for you and your daddy issues. Most healthy people get over that bullshit in their 20s. Then again, I’m sure there are plenty of women out of their early 20s who want to be choked because their partners can’t satisfy them with plain old sex. Are you saying people who enjoy the pain/pleasure concept during sex are unhealthy mentally unstable people with issues who need to grow up? I’m sure there are entire communities who would disagree with your narrow view. Or even people in [Women: What's the sexual appeal of being spanked? - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=605547) this thread here. - TWTTWN ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/42 "2011-04-29T23:26:48Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Has she been a bad girl? Damn right she has! We may not know what it was, but she did _something!_ ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2011, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/43 "2011-04-29T23:45:14Z")
> [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](#): > > Doesn’t sound like it. Doesn’t seem like you care much what she wants unless it’s exactly what you approve of. What a load of shit. If I could only achieve orgasm by punching my partner in the back of the head, and she didn’t want it, she “wouldn’t care what I want unless it’s exactly what she approved of”? Or if I wanted her to cut me during the act and she found it disturbing? Every single person I’ve ever met does _some_ things they find distasteful to please their partners, and every single person I’ve ever met has their limits. Has nothing to do with not caring about your partner. > [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](#): > > Are you saying people who enjoy the pain/pleasure concept during sex are unhealthy mentally unstable people with issues who need to grow up? I’m sure there are entire communities who would disagree with your narrow view. > > Or even people in [Women: What's the sexual appeal of being spanked? - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=605547) this thread here. > > - TWTTWN Read for comprehension, not to try to score gotcha points. I already said I answered “yes” to the spanking question. Choking? Punching? Brutality? Yep, I’d say they’re unhealthy people with issues. I don’t give a fuck if that’s what gets them off, but yes, masochists are some degree of fucked in the head. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/44 "2011-04-30T00:03:45Z")
Choking? Isn’t that dangerous? I know danger gets some people off, but as I understand it this is how David Carradine died. Granted he was by himself, but a trip to the emergency room would be a real turn off for me. But what would I know. I’m faux-sexual. So was David Carradine, apparently. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/45 "2011-04-30T01:18:51Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > I already said I answered “yes” to the spanking question. Choking? Punching? Brutality? Yep, I’d say they’re unhealthy people with issues. I don’t give a fuck if that’s what gets them off, but yes, masochists are some degree of fucked in the head. You sound angry. Why does this idea make you so angry? Why is spanking ok but choking is not? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/46 "2011-04-30T01:51:43Z")
Current GF likes a good spanking. Turns out I enjoy spanking her. Who knew?? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/47 "2011-04-30T02:17:59Z")
I know a monkey that likes a good spankin’ and a chicken that likes a good chokin’. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/48 "2011-04-30T02:35:33Z")
Who waits to be asked? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/49 "2011-04-30T02:36:19Z")
> [@Ladymarmalade](#): > > If you’re single, say you were dating a woman you liked enough to date, and she asked you for an erotic spanking. > > Or, if you’re married, your wife asked you for an erotic spanking. > > Would you do it? it is only polite if you do. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/50 "2011-04-30T03:13:11Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > I voted “yes”, but I pretty much agree with this. I assumed “spanking” to mean very light slapping on the ass, which I’d be willing to do even if I found it somewhat juvenile. Even that would be too much for me. Anything that hurts, even a little, just doesn’t “fit” into my idea of what is fun to do in bed. Likewise with domination and tying and stuff like that - just no. I love my wife very much, and I enjoy sex with her very much. For that reason, as well as because she is a remarkably attractive woman that anyone would want. But if you find someone attractive, why would you want to hit them, even in play? Or dominate them - good sex is equal sharing - I do nice stuff for you, you do nice stuff for me, we do nice stuff together that makes us both feel good. Hitting someone doesn’t make me feel good - just the opposite. Maybe it turns you on, but it has exactly the opposite effect on me. Maybe I am lucky, or blessed, or however you put it. We can do all kinds of things that are adventurous, or daring, or something grandma would not have approved of, but never go beyond the boundaries that either or both of us find acceptable or erotic. [TMI alert] Sometimes my wife and I split a bottle of wine and take a bath together. Ooh - major kink! But it feels to me like the epitome of sensuality. But we get our thrills and nobody feels like they have to do something they find distasteful or weird. [/TMI alert] > [@](#): > > I have to say, at the risk of bragging, I’ve been around the block quite a bit I haven’t, and I suspect my sample size is quite a bit less than many of y’all. But I sure as hell don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything. Like I say, I am very blessed. My wife and I pretty much learned about having a sexual relationship together. And “you wanna try something?” has certainly been part of that. But, so far at least, neither she nor I have suggested doing anything that the other reacted to with horror or disgust. Who knows - maybe she has been holding out on me for the last thirty years, and is going to suggest whips and leather and midgets and whipped cream\* next Tuesday. But I kind of doubt it. I suppose everyone thinks their own kinks are normal. But the kinks I find the most puzzling are not the ones where I say “Ick! You pervert!” necessarily, but the kinks where I say “why the hell would you want to _do_ that?” Spanking is like that. I suppose it either turns you on, or it doesn’t. If it doesn’t, that more or less settles things. Regards, Shodan - On preview - never mind about the whipped cream. That’s not really kinky. We just had some left over. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/51 "2011-04-30T03:52:46Z")
Oh take it easy on the moralizing, **Shodan**. 😉 I’ve yet to meet a woman who didn’t enjoy a playful (but firm) smack on the butt. But maybe I’m wrong. I’d be curious to hear from any woman who finds it a distinct turn-_off_. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/52 "2011-04-30T03:55:27Z")
I answered yes, but I would have a pretty low threshold for stopping. I’m not even sure what that is, but well short of anything that could do worse than redden the flesh. As for choking, not a chance. I’d be willing to hold her in a choke-like hold, but no way I would ever squeeze hard enough to cut off her air, even for a moment. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/53 "2011-04-30T04:25:58Z")
Sure, why not? I’m not especially into it, but I’d like to think that she’ll indulge my kinks every once in a while, so I’m happy to help with hers. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/54 "2011-04-30T04:34:28Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > You sound angry. > > Why does this idea make you so angry? > > Why is spanking ok but choking is not? Because spanking’s not generally a method of murder? The idea doesn’t make me angry, I just cuss a lot. Like I said, I don’t care what people do in bed. I just think it’s moronic to try to claim wanting to be choked doesn’t speak to the fact that you’ve got mental/emotional issues. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/55 "2011-04-30T04:40:45Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > So, what’s the backstory here? I can’t imagine this being a problem for a lot of people, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough. I’m sure I’m not the first to catch this, but ‘backstory’ in this context is waaay too funny. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/56 "2011-04-30T04:51:01Z")
> [@Spoke](#): > > Oh take it easy on the moralizing, **Shodan**. 😉 I’ve yet to meet a woman who didn’t enjoy a playful (but firm) smack on the butt. But maybe I’m wrong. I’d be curious to hear from any woman who finds it a distinct turn-_off_. Not sure that I would call **Shodan’s** post moralizing.. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/57 "2011-04-30T06:03:39Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Damn right she has! We may not know what it was, but she did _something!_ Hey, wanting a spanking is being bad enough for a spanking in my book. I am surprised at how close this poll is though. There are really 9 dopers who would not spank a girl for being very bad and very pouty? I find that hard to believe. We may argue about a lot of stuff just to be contrary, but spanking a wanton wench? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/58 "2011-04-30T09:50:17Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > What a load of shit. If I could only achieve orgasm by punching my partner in the back of the head, and she didn’t want it, she “wouldn’t care what I want unless it’s exactly what she approved of”? Or if I wanted her to cut me during the act and she found it disturbing? Every single person I’ve ever met does _some_ things they find distasteful to please their partners, and every single person I’ve ever met has their limits. Has nothing to do with not caring about your partner. Yes. By definition, you care more about the fact that you are disgusted than that it gives her pleasure. I’m not saying that’s wrong, but that’s what it is. Just like I put my personal safety above her pleasure (despite the fact that I inherently get turned on by her pleasure). But the reason you are being castigated is because you just declared that a lot of people here and their partners must have some sort of mental disorder because they like things you don’t. That’s bullshit. The same principle behind liking spanking being pleasurable works for more hurtful things. It’s just a threshold of pain issue. IMO, it’s the same issue as homosexuality being treated as a mental disorder. That’s stupid, as a mental disorder is not just a deviation from “normal”, whatever that is, but a deviation from normal that causes you considerable distress and/or causes harm to yourself or others. Somebody who just thinks differently than you do is not “crazy.” ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/59 "2011-04-30T10:16:20Z")
> [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](#): > > That’s why you’ve never run into it. Women can tell when it’s safe to express those kinds of desires. Create a non-judgemental environment and girls will tell you some seriously fucked up shit Everyone’s got their own definitions of what’s _really_ kinky, but I’ll agree that it is surprising what some women are into; suffice it to say that spankings can definitely be at the “tame” end of the scale in that regard. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2011, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122/60 "2011-04-30T10:20:20Z")
I get off on the idea of knifeplay, though my ex-husband is not comfortable with going that far with kink, so I haven’t had a chance to do it for real yet. Maybe one day soon, but anyway. Why? Because the endorphin rush and adrenaline is a HUGE turn-on. I get off on pain. It’s the way my brain’s wired. It’s a biochemical thing. Spanking, biting, waxplay, needles - it’s all an extension of that endorphin/adrenaline rush. And apparently it means my daddy dinnae love me enough, or something. You learn something new every day. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-spank-her/580122.md?page=4)