# Guys, would you take this deal? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 3, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360 "2010-11-03T18:34:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/21 "2010-11-03T20:16:04Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Its a good thing that she holds no authority over me. I can safely ignore her odd opinions. “That’s a really good idea!” could mean “That’s a really good idea for the mother, if she can convince her ex to go along with something so clearly against his own interests.” In which it isn’t odd, just selfish & evil. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/22 "2010-11-03T20:19:13Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > You know if you used human sperm (not yours, say you pay a homeless guy to jack it) and she get’s pregnant it could lead to a very interesting court case. You wouldn’t be the biodad, no marital presumtion of paternity, and as long as you didn’t get caught the court would from think she was having sex with another guy & doesn’t want to admit it. Tempting, yes. But not as tempting as the idea of having Evil Ex trying to get herself preggers with horse semen. Having been through a divorce, any time spent away from the legal system is a blessing, even if I knew I wasn’t on the hook. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/23 "2010-11-03T20:19:21Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > But they wouldn’t be “full-blood” siblings. :rolleyes: She want’s another kid but want’s to ensure she get’s child support for it. That won’t happen if uses a sperm donor. She doesn’t want to risk having a kid the “traditional way” with another man and having him disappear or be unable to pay support (or pay less than she get’s from her ex). I certainly don’t know what’s going on in her head, but there was no talk of child support. The way she was talking, it was 100% about genetic material. In fact, I think it was the other woman who proposed the idea, as I specifically remember her saying “So get his sperm.” ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/24 "2010-11-03T20:22:19Z")
No. What everybody else said, especially **Skald**. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/25 "2010-11-03T20:25:33Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > You know if you used human sperm (not yours, say you pay a homeless guy to jack it) and she get’s pregnant it could lead to a very interesting court case. You wouldn’t be the biodad, no marital presumtion of paternity, and as long as you didn’t get caught the court would from think she was having sex with another guy & doesn’t want to admit it. [demonic bureaucrat hat] Do you have a resume I can kick upstairs to Mephistopheles? That’s some quality evil thinking. [/demonic bureaucrat hat] ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/26 "2010-11-03T20:25:43Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > If I really hated my ex and she made this “deal”, I’d send her a syringe full of horse spooge on a regular basis. You are a sick and twisted person. I like that in a man. 🙂 Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/27 "2010-11-03T20:27:44Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Nope. There are at least 3 reasons: > > 1. It’s virtually certain that I’d be on the hook for child support of this baby. I know the mother’s identity; she knows mine; and she clearly doesn’t like me much, as she describes my ass as “sorry.” That’s just asking for a lawsuit I’m not only certain I would lose, but which I don’t even think I should win. > > 2. From the way you’re describing the situation, the ex-wife would not want me to have access to the new child. I wouldn’t want to start a fight on that issue. > > 3. Doing what the OP describes would certainly create false hope in the already-existing child that his or her parents were going to reconcile. That is cruel. This. The only way there is any upside to this situation is if the existing child is in need of a bone marrow transplant and a full-blooded sibling is the only potential match. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/28 "2010-11-03T20:53:31Z")
From an evolutionary standpoint it’s a full win/win. He gets another offspring with little or no increased effort, and the children are more likely to get “equal” treatment by the Mother than if she had one with another Father. I dont know what the increase in support would be for two children vs one, so maybe that’s the critical bit of info? If a guy really didn’t care much about his kids, but wanted to ensure his genetic line, I’d think it would be great for him. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/29 "2010-11-03T20:59:33Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > …If a guy really didn’t care much about his kids, but wanted to ensure his genetic line, I’d think it would be great for him. True, but he can get the same effect from donating to a sperm clinic and not have to worry about being on the hook for child support. Indeed that’s a far better option since he could go on to have dozens if not hundreds of biological offspring also over the planet. IANAL, but it doesn’t really matter what kind of “agreement” he enters into with the mother. It won’t hold up in court if she decides to turn arount and ask for more child support. ---
**Author:** ![Al\_Bundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/30 "2010-11-03T21:00:09Z")
What’s in it for the husband? “Absolutely nothing” (dum dum dum). It sounds like a legal trap. What if she wants even more kids? Does he “man-up” for that as well. The more kids she has the less care she can provide for your first one. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/31 "2010-11-03T21:04:25Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Seems to me that - especially in the face of potential lawsuits, child support, etc. - this is a truly stupid priority to have. Who the fuck cares if they’re “true” siblings or not? Oh, I agree. I’m just saying from the guy’s POV, if he’s stupid. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/32 "2010-11-03T21:06:45Z")
> [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](#): > > There was a whole _Frasier_ episode about it and he seriously thought about doing it… I remember that. But then, he and Lillith do get on well these days and her reasoning was based largely on him being a good father to Freddy. So from his POV, his son would have a sibling (which has advantages) without another father being involved (which can have disadvantages, depending on the father). Of course, they were both rich, which makes a difference. ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/33 "2010-11-03T21:06:57Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > True, but he can get the same effect from donating to a sperm clinic and not have to worry about being on the hook for child support. Indeed that’s a far better option since he could go on to have dozens if not hundreds of biological offspring also over the planet. > > IANAL, but it doesn’t really matter what kind of “agreement” he enters into with the mother. It won’t hold up in court if she decides to turn arount and ask for more child support. But surely there is some mechanism for donating sperm to a particular individual, no strings attached (friends helping lesbian couples conceive etc). If the man isn’t expected/planning to take a paternal role, I don’t see why there is an automatic assumption that he would be liable for child support under suitable legal conditions. ---
**Author:** ![cmosdes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cmosdes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmosdes)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/34 "2010-11-03T22:15:18Z")
> [@Telcontar](#): > > But surely there is some mechanism for donating sperm to a particular individual, no strings attached (friends helping lesbian couples conceive etc). If the man isn’t expected/planning to take a paternal role, I don’t see why there is an automatic assumption that he would be liable for child support under suitable legal conditions. See [here](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2883/can-a-sperm-donor-be-forced-to-pay-child-support). ---
**Author:** ![firstname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ab992/32.png) [@firstname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/firstname)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2010, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/35 "2010-11-04T00:18:16Z")
No, If we’re getting divorced then I see no reason to bring another child into the situation. ---
**Author:** ![supergalactic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@supergalactic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supergalactic)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2010, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/36 "2010-11-04T00:45:02Z")
Sounds like she’s got a real set of balls on her. Tell her she can go fuck herself. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/37 "2010-11-04T01:00:42Z")
Not a fucking chance. Not just for the personal/relationship issues, but for the clear and present extremely high odds of being stuck for child support. Even if she signs some piece of paper saying otherwise, any time she gets angry or worried or changes her mind in the future, you’re fucked. ---
**Author:** ![curious11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ac91a4/32.png) [@curious11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curious11)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/38 "2010-11-04T01:53:01Z")
I’d say yes, then give her the sperm of a person with an obviously different skin color. “That’s not my kid!” The above suggestion is in jest, FYI, do not do it! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/39 "2010-11-04T02:05:58Z")
No. There’s no. There’s Hell No. And then there’s ‘laugh in her face & spit on her shoes’ Hell No. Nothing about that could get her pregnant, but she’d still probably name the kid ‘Manolo’. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360/40 "2010-11-04T02:10:59Z")
Not a chance. And I wouldn’t pull any tricks with substitute sperm either; just because a kid isn’t related to me doesn’t mean that the courts won’t decide I need to pay child support for it anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-take-this-deal/559360.md?page=3)