# Guys, would you wear these pants? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2018, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378 "2018-06-03T23:14:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2018, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/1 "2018-06-03T23:14:28Z")
[These](https://soranews24.com/2018/06/01/penis-pocket-pants-the-latest-offering-from-uniqlos-sister-brand-in-japan/) [slacks](https://soranews24.com/2018/06/04/time-to-throw-on-some-crotch-accentuating-slacks-and-hit-the-town/) have been discovered in Japan. Would you wear them? ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2018, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/2 "2018-06-03T23:38:36Z")
No, I don’t like them. Well I’d wear them to paint the kitchen, if they were offered for that purpose. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2018, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/3 "2018-06-03T23:44:11Z")
I don’t even have to look. If you have to ask, the answer is no. But now that I did, those things better be called cock-holsters. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2018, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/4 "2018-06-03T23:44:45Z")
Just stupid. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2018, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/5 "2018-06-03T23:50:27Z")
I voted no only because I don’t wear any slacks. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2018, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/6 "2018-06-03T23:52:59Z")
Well whaddya know, I was just reading today about [Tudor-era padded codpieces on men’s hose](http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/features/what-goes-up-must-come-down-a-brief-history-of-the-codpiece). There truly is nothing new under the sun. > [@](#): > > Pictorial and textual evidence suggests that the early codpiece was constructed from a triangular shaped piece of cloth called a ‘braye’. The bottom tip of the triangle was stitched to the hose and the remaining corners fastened to the doublet to form a kind of gusset. This soft triangular flap was superseded by a stuffed and padded shape designed to hold what Montaigne coyly called “our secret parts” and John Florio’s Italian-English dictionary lists as “pillcocke or pricke”. Looks like this Japanese designer has reinvented the codpiece forerunner known as a “braye”. Can the revival of actual full-phallus codpieces be far behind? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BobBitchin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BobBitchin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobBitchin)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/7 "2018-06-04T00:04:27Z")
They don’t look real. It looks like a prop (a half ass prop) from a SNL skit. But a bad SNL skit. Like they only came up with the premise “There is something stupid about the pants, and they’re popular and we’ll riff on that”. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/8 "2018-06-04T00:08:49Z")
Seems kind of half-cocked. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/9 "2018-06-04T00:21:21Z")
If they are made in Japan, I don’t think they would fit. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/10 "2018-06-04T00:28:01Z")
I only wear kilts. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/11 "2018-06-04T00:29:11Z")
Whoever ok’d that design really pulled a boner. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/12 "2018-06-04T00:33:02Z")
Seems like it could be a good thing for rocket scientists to wear to parties. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/13 "2018-06-04T00:42:20Z")
People really wear these?? I laughed… I voted horrible, but the word I prefer is ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/14 "2018-06-04T00:58:40Z")
They are a little confusing. But if you are supposed to slide your dick into the front pocket, I would be all over those suckers. When’s the next Doper get-together? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/15 "2018-06-04T02:05:29Z")
These pants are really pretty tame compared with some of the clothing Japanese wear. Which is just one of many reasons it’s always fun to be in Japan. Mmm, Japan. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/16 "2018-06-04T02:28:13Z")
I don’t know why, but I feel like they’d be the bottom half of a uniform in some dystopian novel where critics in the movie review make a passing joke about them. Edit: The second link says they were bought on clearance so I guess not even the Japanese wants them. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/17 "2018-06-04T03:11:11Z")
Hell no. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/18 "2018-06-04T03:13:51Z")
I still don’t understand. The zipper is underneath the codpiece, so you can’t keep your . . . erm . . . baNANa in it at all. If I saw somebody in those I would just think it was a cheap trick from a guy who got a thrill from getting people to look at his crotchal region. But my first thought in seeing it was “That pocket looks kinda small” followed by “Any guy who’s wearing them though? Prolly safe to assume that it’s actually too big.” ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/19 "2018-06-04T03:23:30Z")
They wouldn’t fit me. Uh, that’s not what I mean. Get your minds out of the gutter. I mean I have too much of a beer gut to be able to get into them. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/20 "2018-06-04T03:31:21Z")
My crotch does not need accentuating. I manage that already in unfortunate ways, and would prefer people look the other way when that happens. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378.md?page=2)