# Guys, would you wear these pants? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2018, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378 "2018-06-03T23:14:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/21 "2018-06-04T08:14:13Z")
They look dumb, and possibly uncomfortable. I wouldn’t wear one, and if I had no choice but to do so would strongly consider hacking the stupid pocket thing off with a knife. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/22 "2018-06-04T08:35:19Z")
Oh the penis pouch pants. Sure! Gtreat place to store a frankfurter you might want to snack on later. I wear a shirt with boobies painted on too, just to tie the whole theme together. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/23 "2018-06-04T11:39:44Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > [These](https://soranews24.com/2018/06/01/penis-pocket-pants-the-latest-offering-from-uniqlos-sister-brand-in-japan/) [slacks](https://soranews24.com/2018/06/04/time-to-throw-on-some-crotch-accentuating-slacks-and-hit-the-town/) have been discovered in Japan. Would you wear them? “have been discovered”? That makes it sound as if they broke through into a new chamber at the Slacks Mine at Kitamatsu and found a rich lode of highlighted crotch-bearing pants, or something. No way I’d wear these latter-day codpiece pants. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/24 "2018-06-04T11:43:45Z")
If I’m happy to see you I prefer to just say so. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/25 "2018-06-04T11:56:38Z")
It’s ridiculous looking. It looks like a small holster designed to hold a derringer or a .22 Special. I guess you could throw away the flap, remove the button, and have a decent pair of pants. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/26 "2018-06-04T12:30:21Z")
NNNNNNNNo. When I want to draw your attention to my nethers I’ll just yank 'em out and wave 'em at you. What is it with clothing manufacturers pushing ridiculous junk-conscious clothes lately? There’s also some “pouch” underwear that’s supposed to be some miracle of science for junk comfort–as if isolating it in a forward-facing pouch will make it comfy and protect if from kangaroo kicks and such (never mind that pants ultimately level that playing field). Stupid. I guess the clothes designers weren’t satisfied with giving women useless pockets on their jeans. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/27 "2018-06-04T12:36:10Z")
Not unless I can get a version where the crotch pocket is outlined in flashing neon lights. I don’t do subtle. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/28 "2018-06-04T13:45:43Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > I still don’t understand. The zipper is underneath the codpiece, so you can’t keep your . . . erm . . . baNANa in it at all. If I saw somebody in those I would just think it was a cheap trick from a guy who got a thrill from getting people to look at his crotchal region. Basically. Well, I suppose someone could think “Fashion!” rather than “lol made u look at my dong” but it’s just a different colored flap of fabric, not a “pocket”. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/29 "2018-06-04T14:17:25Z")
What it actually looks like to me is that a batch of pants had the lining of the zip mistakenly sewn on the outside, and someone is still trying to sell them. That’s clearly not the case, these are definitely designed this way, but that’s what it _looks_ like. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/30 "2018-06-04T18:12:13Z")
No. Now make the “pocket” the same color as the rest of the pants and make them comfy and I would consider it. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/31 "2018-06-04T19:00:52Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Basically. Well, I suppose someone could think “Fashion!” rather than “lol made u look at my dong” but it’s just a different colored flap of fabric, not a “pocket”. I think this style should ACTUALLY be called “lol made u look at my dong” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/32 "2018-06-04T19:44:18Z")
Not even if they were free. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/33 "2018-06-04T20:12:25Z")
And if you would wear them - where are you going? ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/34 "2018-06-04T20:14:00Z")
Like everyone else: Not just no, but _hell_ no. I have to give the designer of these pants credit for one thing, though: In a time of division and discord, these pants have united us all. We should ship these things to various trouble spots around the world (the Middle East, Korea, right here in the good old U.S. of A.); I’m imagining it could be a real ice-breaker and confidence builder, having Israelis and Palestinians, and North and South Koreans, and Burmans and Rohingyas, all sitting down together in a spirit of agreement and unity to say: “Holy shit! What the fuck were they thinking?!?” “I _know_! I wouldn’t be caught dead in those things / I would never allow my son/husband/brother to be caught dead in those things!” “Dude, you are so right!” “So, about those territorial disputes… / that nuclear weapons program… / Etc…” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/35 "2018-06-04T20:17:45Z")
Over 80 votes and still we have unanimity! These pants may be just the common ground that brings harmony to the world! ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/36 "2018-06-04T21:29:43Z")
Why not just paint a target on them? ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/37 "2018-06-04T21:30:57Z")
I voted no, but I could put together a pretty good steampunk outfit for a convention or a Halloween party with them. Imagine a strategically placed length of polished brass pipe. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2018, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/38 "2018-06-04T23:06:40Z")
Nope, it’s a ridiculous concept. Back in the '60s or '70s, there was a black power activist (Eldridge Cleaver, maybe?) who made a fashion statement about black masculinity by producing a line of trousers with a black dangling tube to house the wearer’s wedding tackle. The project was a financial failure, as these silly Japanese pants probably are. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/39 "2018-06-05T04:10:04Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > And if you would wear them - where are you going? And more importantly why are you in that hand-basket? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2018, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378/40 "2018-06-05T06:16:22Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > They look dumb, and possibly uncomfortable. I wouldn’t wear one, and if I had no choice but to do so would strongly consider hacking the stupid pocket thing off with a knife. Be sure to take them off first. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-would-you-wear-these-pants/815378.md?page=3)