# Guys, Y U no listen? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424 "2013-04-11T17:32:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/181 "2013-04-12T04:08:52Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > _Signals_ also include breathing, moving, speaking, not speaking, and having a vagina. Goddamn being male is complicated. All that projection, misconception, and envy of the opposite sex to carry around. I’m just glad those jiggly confounding balls slow you guys down a bit and give us a headstart. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/182 "2013-04-12T04:26:52Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Sure, okay, let’s pretend that men “deserve” government approved retail nooky. You really think the MRA army will be content with paying for what most women can get for free? Do you have colander on ignore or something? The optimal “solution” for sexual frustration is masturbation. And if you seriously think that the state of being horny is worthy of government intervention then I doubt that any dialogue here will satisfy you. I don’t know anything about the MRA or even anything **Colander** said. Buffalo Bill? What? Anyways, masturbation is all fine and good but we still see plenty rape. So, obviously it’s not working. What do you have against legalized prostitution? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/183 "2013-04-12T04:35:54Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > … and envy of the opposite sex to carry around. … I certainly don’t envy women. Og forbid I would ever have someone like me stalking me! ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/184 "2013-04-12T04:37:55Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > I don’t know anything about the MRA or even anything **Colander** said. Buffalo Bill? What? > > Anyways, masturbation is all fine and good but we still see plenty rape. So, obviously it’s not working. > > What do you have against legalized prostitution? Nothing, but I’m completely confused about what it has to do with MOL’s pushy, clueless date. Are you suggesting that this guy would have politely accepted her kindness and dutifully left if he had a prostitute around the corner to pay for? That this guy would have accepted a substitute for the woman he was attracted to and willingly shelled out money to gratify himself? I doubt it. Look, we chatter a lot about overzealous guys here and get riled about PUA crap, but this stuff rarely happens in real life. Most guys I know aren’t bitter and entitled, and most guys I know enjoy the process of finding love, flirting, and getting laid. Most of them recognize that the desires and needs of two people are to be considered and don’t feel that their testicles are a ticking time bomb. I’m hoping that the guys yelling signals! in this thread are just expressing frustration with dating, talking this out and aren’t really oversteering their relationships in real life. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/185 "2013-04-12T04:50:22Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Do you not understand the concept of mixed signals? In this case, I think it was pretty clear MOL had no interest in getting frisky. Seems clear to me, “You can come up to call a cab but nothing is going to happen”. He may of had too much to drink perhaps, which is no excuse of course but some men tend to get a little more handsy after a few drinks during the course of a date. If he was sober and he was like this MOL, he will probably be a handfull with a few drinks in him. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/186 "2013-04-12T04:58:47Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > … talking this out and aren’t really oversteering their relationships in real life. Oversteering? My love life is a bus whose driver had a stroke just before that sharp turn to avoid the cliff. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/187 "2013-04-12T05:06:01Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Oversteering? My love life is a bus whose driver had a stroke just before that sharp turn to avoid the cliff. Call me. ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/188 "2013-04-12T05:27:47Z")
I’m glad MeanOldLady started this thread. It’s not often that posters at this message board highlight the problems men have in our female dominated society. Men are alone in the big city, with absolutely none of the power in the male-female dynamic. This unfair distribution of power has scarred generations of men, and it is not getting any better. MOL cajoled this fellow to journey away from his safe home to the farthest, darkest, coldest section of Chicago. She carefully picked a restaurant that closes it’s doors to the public at a certain hour. She chose a night that had a horrendous weather forecast (a rarity in Chicago). She led this poor powerless creature into her home on the pretense of making a phone call. She let him know in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t interested in sex with her fancy words. With her eyes? Oh, they obviously told the true pornoriiffic story. If she didn’t give this message with her eyes, where else would this poor man get the idea to make a move? No one has an imagination that strong, people. Cruelly, MOL teased him and teased him. Going as far as talking (has anyone ever had sex without talking first? No. Therefore, if you have a conversation with a date it is tacit approval of intercourse) for more than 10 minutes. Until, finally, forcing the guy to take a cab home. This guy’s night was ruined. Did he really deserve that? He did everything the female biased mainstream media demands of gentleman callers. He attentively watched her talk while at the restaurant, he kept his hands off of her when out in public, and he never took his clothes off. The misguided fool followed all of the rules, and he still went home unsatisfied. This female terrorism has to stop. Please, Mothers and Fathers, think of all the sons out there who deserve sex on a first date. Let’s end this today! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/189 "2013-04-12T05:28:17Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Call me. I look forward to our evening of misunderstood signals, mutual frustration, and head-shaking confusion. If that doesn’t add up to passion, I don’t know what does. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/190 "2013-04-12T05:29:12Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Right?! Silly girl, everybody knows that men are incapable of controlling themselves ones a little blood flows to their penis! All rational decision making is out the door! Poor guy just couldn’t help it! It was beyond his control, ya know? > Seriously, how men don’t get more pissed about statements like the quoted text is beyond me. This is the male equivalent of the old, “Oh, she’s on her period, she can’t control her emotions!” dismissive sexism nonsense. Or the bumbling, helpless dad meme in so many commercials. Problem is the old chestnut about men having a brain and a dick but only enough blood for one of them to work properly at a time is true. Many a poor decision has been made as a result of a stiff dick. By no means excuses inappropriate behaviour though (just in case you thought I was going there) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/191 "2013-04-12T05:33:10Z")
> [@pricciar](#): > > … She let him know in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t interested in sex with her fancy words. With her eyes? … I’ve been there. Her voice said, “Please untie me”, but her eyes told a story of unbridled lust as I poured another glass of fine red wine down her feeding tube. Really, is there any guy who hasn’t been in exactly this same situation? ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/192 "2013-04-12T05:44:53Z")
Holy everloving fuck. I haven’t read this entire thread but I read the OP and I laughed and wondered how this thing could have gone on for 4 fucking pages. This is terrible. Absolutely fucking terrible, that anyone could honestly be arguing that MOL sent “mixed signals” and that the guy was just doing what he should have done (pursue a woman who has clearly told him no). You know normally I like this message board and I’m glad that most of us are in agreement here that MOL did nothing wrong, but the fact that anyone… anyone at all thinks that this guy wasn’t a legitimate creep, is frankly depressingly disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/193 "2013-04-12T05:47:40Z")
_Reads OP, skips rest of thread_ And here I thought this was going to be a “Why don’t guys pick up on the ‘I’m interested in you’ signals I send?” thread. In that case, it’s often guys erring on the side of caution, because over-interpretation is bad. _Starts reading rest of thread; sarcasm detector breaks_ ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/194 "2013-04-12T05:51:25Z")
> [@stui\_magpie](#): > > Problem is the old chestnut about men having a brain and a dick but only enough blood for one of them to work properly at a time is true. No it fucking isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/195 "2013-04-12T05:54:56Z")
After reading the OP I thought the only possible dissension could be that the OP was about A guy, but was addressed to guyS. Or maybe someone who hadn’t stumbled across the meme objecting to the use of ‘Y’ and ‘U’, instead of ‘why’ and ‘you’… Only to have the thread veer into the bizarre with commentary about mixed signals (like your plain, direct English was some sort of obscure Swahili dialect or something?) and legalising prostitution solving issues like this (I can’t.even.). WTF? Seriously, hilariously funny. You must be shaking your head, MOL, at the way this thread turned out! But keep up the good fight - I’m optimistic that most blokes can hear your words and understand English. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/196 "2013-04-12T05:58:18Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > What do you have against legalized prostitution? You do realize that prostitutes themselves get raped more often than pretty much _any other sector of the population_, right? To suggest that rape-os wouldn’t be so molesty if only there were more prostitutes around is completely goddamn idiotic. Ugh. This is less productive than yelling into my cat’s butthole. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/197 "2013-04-12T06:00:45Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > What was that signal mixed with? Well, he was hoping Rohypnol. > [@stui\_magpie](#): > > Problem is the old chestnut about men having a brain and a dick but only enough blood for one of them to work properly at a time is true. Well, there you have it, MRAs of the Dope. Remember this thread next time you guys are complaining that all us mean feminists are labeling you guys as potential rapist. We’ve got countless folks coming in this thread and chiding the OP for being stupid enough to let a man into her apartment, when _clearly_ he had no control over his mental faculties due to his erection. She should have known better! What was she thinking? That poor guy, he got mixed signals from her repeatedly saying no. What was he supposed to think? He couldn’t think anyway, because of his erection. Gosh, stupid broads not getting it, ya know? It should tell you something when all the bitchy feminists of the Dope are in a thread defending the intellectual autonomy of a man, rather than dehumanizing him into some animal, no better than the sum of his parts. As a woman, I _hate_ when people dismiss me or other women with statements like, “Oh, she’s just PMSing. She’s _hysterical_. Don’t even listen.” If I were a guy, shit like this whole “men only have enough blood for one head teehee!” would piss me right the fuck off. Hell, I’m not a guy and I’m pissed for you. The logical end point of those statements is that you don’t control yourself-- you can’t ever be trusted. Ever. Not with other people, not with yourself. No man ever. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/199 "2013-04-12T06:11:47Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > As a woman, I _hate_ when people dismiss me or other women with statements like, “Oh, she’s just PMSing. She’s _hysterical_. Don’t even listen.” [sidenote] This is the worst thing ever. I see it all the time, ironically mostly from women excusing their bad behavior. I’ve seen women posting articles about, say, how women are perceived as prettier during ovulation with things like “no wonder us women are so crazy! Cut us some slack, you’d be crazy too if you got prettier and uglier as the month went on.” Or my ex who was constantly PMSing. And by that I mean she had a very, very irregular period that was utterly unpredictable, and thus if she wanted to be obnoxious, mean, emotional, or lazy she’d do what she wanted and cry “but I’m PMSiiiiiiiing”. It’s by no means exclusive to women, and it’s annoying when men do it to women to dismiss them. But christ, people need to give **themselves** some credit. If you can’t give yourself credit for whatever reason, and you feel you need to make lame excuses for your behaviour, at least make ones that don’t put down everyone who shares your gender. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/200 "2013-04-12T06:13:59Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Well, he was hoping Rohypnol. > > Well, there you have it, MRAs of the Dope. Remember this thread next time you guys are complaining that all us mean feminists are labeling you guys as potential rapist. We’ve got countless folks coming in this thread and chiding the OP for being stupid enough to let a man into her apartment, when _clearly_ he had no control over his mental faculties due to his erection. She should have known better! What was she thinking? That poor guy, he got mixed signals from her repeatedly saying no. What was he supposed to think? He couldn’t think anyway, because of his erection. Gosh, stupid broads not getting it, ya know? > > It should tell you something when all the bitchy feminists of the Dope are in a thread defending the intellectual autonomy of a man, rather than dehumanizing him into some animal, no better than the sum of his parts. > > As a woman, I _hate_ when people dismiss me or other women with statements like, “Oh, she’s just PMSing. She’s _hysterical_. Don’t even listen.” If I were a guy, shit like this whole “men only have enough blood for one head teehee!” would piss me right the fuck off. Hell, I’m not a guy and I’m pissed for you. The logical end point of those statements is that you don’t control yourself-- you can’t ever be trusted. Ever. Not with other people, not with yourself. No man ever. You missed quoting the second sentance which was the qualifier, and note I added the term “properly” rather than saying it as an absolute. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/201 "2013-04-12T06:16:55Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > It’s by no means exclusive to women, and it’s annoying when men do it to women to dismiss them. But christ, people need to give **themselves** some credit. If you can’t give yourself credit for whatever reason, and you feel you need to make lame excuses for your behaviour, at least make ones that don’t put down everyone who shares your gender. Word. It annoys me MOST when it’s women who say this nonsense. No, lady, you’re just a bitch. It’s cool if you want to be a bitch, but own it, ok? Don’t make the rest of us look like mentally unbalanced psychopaths. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424.md?page=11)