# Guys, Y U no listen? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424 "2013-04-11T17:32:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/342 "2013-04-12T23:07:50Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > That thread was only last month. Changes for the better? Like the pit thread you have now where you’re having high school drama because of a girl and a friend of yours? The mind boggles. Yeah, that was a long standing issue I had going in my head. It doesn’t mean there weren’t significant changes with lots of people I’ve come across and different paths I’ve taken in virtually every other area of my life. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/343 "2013-04-12T23:09:05Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > A significant problem that contributes to you doing what, exactly? Bitching about it on a message board. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/344 "2013-04-12T23:09:50Z")
But you are alleging that sexual frustration is such a problem that we ought to legalize prostitution to alleviate it so we don’t have to deal with…what consequences, exactly? ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/345 "2013-04-12T23:11:46Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > But you are alleging that sexual frustration is such a problem that we ought to legalize prostitution to alleviate it so we don’t have to deal with…what consequences, exactly? Sexual assault and rape. I already linked to a study that said it would decrease those occurrences. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/346 "2013-04-12T23:12:00Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > That’s coming from you, presumably a woman. Coming from me as a man, I do consider it a significant problem. While it certainly may be a significant problem, it is not a problem relevant to this discussion. That’s what people keep trying to tell you. I agree with you on the subject of prostitution - I think it should be legal. My reasoning is different than yours, but the end result would be the same. However, that’s got nothing to do with what we’re talking about here. If you want to talk about that, go start a thread. The guy in the OP isn’t acting like an asshole because he’s sexually frustrated. He’s acting like an asshole because he’s an asshole and thinks he can get away with it. Non-assholes may be sexually frustrated as well, but they don’t behave like assholes just because of it. Assholes gotta asshole. Got nothing to do with blue balls. ETA: Where the hell did all those posts come from? I just loaded this thread and they weren’t there then. Damn, you people are fast! ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/347 "2013-04-12T23:15:05Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Yeah, it does. > > She asked, "if women have to be the arbitrers of the message "what is appropriate behavior while a bunch of guys try and tell us with a straight face that when a woman says “no” what she means is “talk me into it.” > > I’m saying, yes, they do need to be the arbitrers of that message. > > I don’t care about flour beetles. The point is that women have been arbitrating the fuck out of the message all over your stupid face and you are still not getting it, so what do they have to do then? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/348 "2013-04-12T23:15:05Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > That’s coming from you, presumably a woman. Coming from me as a man, I do consider it a significant problem. So go jerk off. Someone in this very thread stated “that I simply am for personal autonomy of ones body” and I think that’s a brilliant solution to this “problem”. I wonder who said that… ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/349 "2013-04-12T23:15:22Z")
**Redtail** , you’re right. This is a giant hijack in IMHO. I guess I got caught up in this discussion. Everybody, I do appreciate your input and opinions. I’ve read a lot of things you’ve wrote here and learned a lot. Maybe I’ll start a thread in GD but probably not anytime soon. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/350 "2013-04-12T23:19:52Z")
Legal prostitution wouldn’t get rid of rape because the poor wouldn’t be able to afford it. The real way to get rid of rape is with government-subsidized prostitution. It would prevent rape, so the left would love it, and in order to win over the right we could introduce some kind of work-for-women program. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/351 "2013-04-12T23:21:15Z")
Can someone less exasperated than me sum this up? I’ll start. Clueless, inexperienced guys who have watched a lot of movies and sitcoms, same guys who take cues on how to behave in polite society from pop songs, and guys who have emerged from the PUA movement with big ideas: don’t. Just… don’t. When women tell you No, listen to them. Don’t jack around on this one, don’t apply wishful thinking, don’t project your desires onto her, and whatever you do, don’t believe a word of the guys here who are trying to throw you under the bus and encourage you to soldier on because “women who say no really mean yes”. Don’t gamble on _no_. Unless you want a kick in the balls, a mugshot and a permanent place on the sex offender registry. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/352 "2013-04-12T23:21:20Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > The point is that women have been arbitrating the fuck out of the message all over your stupid face and you are still not getting it, so what do they have to do then? Lay back and take it. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/353 "2013-04-12T23:35:40Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Can someone less exasperated than me sum this up? I’ll start. Clueless, inexperienced guys who have watched a lot of movies and sitcoms, same guys who take cues on how to behave in polite society from pop songs, and guys who have emerged from the PUA movement with big ideas: don’t. Just… don’t. When women tell you No, listen to them. Don’t jack around on this one, don’t apply wishful thinking, don’t project your desires onto her, and whatever you do, don’t believe a word of the guys here who are trying to throw you under the bus and encourage you to soldier on because “women who say no really mean yes”. Don’t gamble on _no_. > > Unless you want a kick in the balls, a mugshot and a permanent place on the sex offender registry. I just can’t wait to live in a world where a woman can invite a man up to her apartment after a date without him having the audacity to try and kiss her. One day. One day. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/354 "2013-04-12T23:40:40Z")
> [@treis](#): > > I just can’t wait to live in a world where a woman can invite a man up to her apartment after a date without him having the audacity to try and kiss her. One day. One day. Are you being intentionally thick or do you honestly not understand how that’s completely different than what anyone here is talking about? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/355 "2013-04-12T23:41:24Z")
> [@LouLou7](#): > > MOL, I think we just need to find you a husband and all your problems will be over. > > (well, it might create a new set of problems, but at least you can get regular sex with less stress) Oh god, I had one of those. It was awful. Would not repeat. Okay, maybe I would, but not for now. Luckily for me, there’s layage in my life with someone who’s not a creepshow. No long term potential, but I get my rocks off. That’s TMI, isn’t it? > [@treis](#): > > I just can’t wait to live in a world where a woman can invite a man up to her apartment after a date without him having the audacity to try and kiss her. One day. One day. You are so fucking stupid that it’s not even funny. It’s like you have no idea what context is. We all agree that in general an invite up = sexy times. But the non-stupid among us realize there are certain circumstances in which that is not the case. You’re the only one dumb enough to think that letting someone into her apt = SEX NOW! all the time, no exceptions. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/356 "2013-04-12T23:41:29Z")
Maybe that’ll be the same day some testosterone-addled brains won’t take “I’m in her apartment” to override every single actual word coming out of her mouth. One day. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/357 "2013-04-12T23:47:26Z")
> [@treis](#): > > I just can’t wait to live in a world where a woman can invite a man up to her apartment after a date without him having the audacity to try and kiss her. One day. One day. Like that’s ever gonna happen to you. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/358 "2013-04-12T23:52:14Z")
> [@treis](#): > > I just can’t wait to live in a world where a woman can invite a man up to her apartment after a date without him having the audacity to try and kiss her. One day. One day. [del]Before she was my girlfriend, I once stayed at my ex’s house for 5 days without doing or even suggesting anything despite being nearly constantly horny. So, you know, it’s possible for men to not think with our dicks if we expend the most minimal effort.[/del] You arrogant slut, don’t you know a man getting a whiff of a sexual possibility is like making Bruce Banner angry? You simply can’t control us after it happens. ---
**Author:** ![LouLou7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a87d85/32.png) [@LouLou7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouLou7)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/359 "2013-04-12T23:52:43Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > _Penes_, **MOL** , _penes_, just because there aren’t enough tangents and nitpicks in this thread. Point of Order??? Are you sure it’s pene? Because I totally thought the plural of penis was peni. ??? please carry on with the discussion. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/360 "2013-04-12T23:54:13Z")
> [@LouLou7](#): > > Point of Order??? > > Are you sure it’s pene? Because I totally thought the plural of penis was peni. > > ??? > > please carry on with the discussion. Only if the singular were _penus_, which it is not. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/361 "2013-04-12T23:54:31Z")
I’m pretty sure it’s penises or penes, but penii is funnier to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424.md?page=19)