# Guys, Y U no listen? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424 "2013-04-11T17:32:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 41
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/802 "2013-04-19T04:02:39Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Well, that covers it all then, doesn’t it? I wasn’t sure that you were here to straighten everything out. It is so clear, now, with this pronouncement. here is how they’ll discover your body: neighbors call the police to report that the perpetual stench coming from next door has suddenly and inexplicably _lessened_ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/803 "2013-04-19T06:03:03Z")
> [@colander](#): > > you’ll die soon and alone [Moderating] Wishing death on another poster is a violation of the board’s rules. Please avoid thiamin the future. [/Moderating] ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/804 "2013-04-19T11:23:17Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > [Moderating] > Wishing death on another poster is a violation of the board’s rules. Please avoid thiamin the future. > [/Moderating] Thiamin? ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/805 "2013-04-19T12:23:49Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Well, that covers it all then, doesn’t it? I wasn’t sure that you were here to straighten everything out. It is so clear, now, with this pronouncement. yes, it does. it has been clear from the beginning to most of us. the “mixed signals” crap was debunked, thoroughly. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/806 "2013-04-19T12:49:03Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Thiamin? I laughed out loud when I saw that. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/807 "2013-04-19T13:33:28Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > [Moderating] > Wishing death on another poster is a violation of the board’s rules. Please avoid thiamin the future. > [/Moderating] THAT’S the answer! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/808 "2013-04-19T14:40:40Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > yes, it does. it has been clear from the beginning to most of us. the “mixed signals” crap was debunked, thoroughly. Ohhhh…_debunked_! See, nobody told me! And ‘_thoroughly_’? Wow! ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/809 "2013-04-19T14:44:05Z")
I now see why after 17 pages this is still going. Those that read “mixed signals” into an unambiguously stated NO are functionally retarded. It explains so much. ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/810 "2013-04-19T16:10:51Z")
> [@Tequila\_Party](#): > > I now see why after 17 pages this is still going. Those that read “mixed signals” into an unambiguously stated NO are functionally retarded. It explains so much. Exactly. “Mixed signals” _might_ be a woman coyly saying “well… I really shouldn’t” while she stares at you breathlessly and twirls her hair, then invites you up for coffee. But flat out saying no, nothing will be happening, I’m aware of the trope of inviting a man up for some excuse but that is _not_ what is happening here, and repeatedly running away from his physical advances and repeatedly asking him to phone a taxi immediately = the antithesis of “mixed signals” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/811 "2013-04-19T16:20:05Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Ohhhh…_debunked_! See, nobody told me! And ‘_thoroughly_’? Wow! Nobody is supposed to tell you, mouthbreather. You’re supposed to read the thread yourself. It has been debunked thoroughly. What you’re posting is barely literate willfully ignorant garbage. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/812 "2013-04-19T16:27:32Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Nobody is supposed to tell you, mouthbreather. You’re supposed to read the thread yourself. It has been debunked thoroughly. What you’re posting is barely literate willfully ignorant garbage. And wishful thinking, apparently. Think you’ll get away with ignoring a verbal no, **hh** just because you subscribe to the \*mixed signals \*trope? You telling us you’d seriously gamble on that? ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/813 "2013-04-19T16:29:22Z")
At least **handsomeharry** has saved **Hentor** the trouble of reading through this thread to find the attitude that has taken this thread to 17 pages. Just looking on the bright side. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/814 "2013-04-19T21:08:12Z")
Look, I know it’s not the popular position to take, but some posters really have been coming down really hard on guys who are trying to get into this conversation. I’ve felt that from the beginning. It’s really hard to have a constructive dialog with this much hostility. I don’t know if I would call it projecting, but it seems like any guy with any counterpoint is being lumped into the most extreme category. I think that’s all **Hentor** was trying to say. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/815 "2013-04-19T21:20:28Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Look, I know it’s not the popular position to take, but some posters really have been coming down really hard on guys who are trying to get into this conversation. I’ve felt that from the beginning. It’s really hard to have a constructive dialog with this much hostility. I don’t know if I would call it projecting, but it seems like any guy with any counterpoint is being lumped into the most extreme category. I think that’s all **Hentor** was trying to say. feel free to try to have a good-faith dialogue with **handsomeharry** on the topic of consent. no, really. give it a shot. let us know how that goes ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/816 "2013-04-19T22:02:53Z")
> [@colander](#): > > feel free to try to have a good-faith dialogue with **handsomeharry** on the topic of consent. > > no, really. give it a shot. > > let us know how that goes I’m not talking about him. His statements about MOL playing the dumbass are patently ridiculous. And **treis** , of course, very much deserves a pitting for his stubbornly archaic beliefs about women. You’ve made some great points in these threads and represented victims’ perspectives very well. Would that I had so much eloquence. I understand it can be cathartic to vent at someone who holds a perspective you loathe - the only Pit thread I ever started was targeting a racist, and I basically spent the entire time mocking him until he was banned. However, not everybody is coming in from that extremist perspective. There are more nuances to some of these guys’ opinions than they are getting credit for, and some of it is genuine ignorance vs. willful ignorance. It can be a real ideological turn-off, if you’re somewhere on the fence or just honestly uninformed, to be lumped in with extremists. I’m just asking that some people consider the words of their opponents more carefully. ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/817 "2013-04-19T22:12:38Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I’m just asking that some people consider the words of their opponents more carefully. One thing that would be useful is that when reading posts where men are explaining why some men think the way they do, for example about no meaning maybe or an invitation to an apartment being an invitation to sex, that it doesn’t mean that the poster is _condoning_ those views. Understanding why someone holds a view you find reprehensible is going to help you change that view far more than simply shouting that it’s wrong. This isn’t directed at anyone specifically, least of all **olivesmarch4th**. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/818 "2013-04-19T22:48:10Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > One thing that would be useful is that when reading posts where men are explaining why some men think the way they do, for example about no meaning maybe or an invitation to an apartment being an invitation to sex, that it doesn’t mean that the poster is _condoning_ those views. Understanding why someone holds a view you find reprehensible is going to help you change that view far more than simply shouting that it’s wrong. > > This isn’t directed at anyone specifically, least of all **olivesmarch4th**. has it perhaps occurred to you that we don’t need those things explained to us because we have been over this shit literally billions and billions of times both on the internet and in our real lives if not, please explain why not ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/819 "2013-04-19T22:55:38Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > One thing that would be useful is that when reading posts where men are explaining why some men think the way they do, for example about no meaning maybe or an invitation to an apartment being an invitation to sex, that it doesn’t mean that the poster is _condoning_ those views. Understanding why someone holds a view you find reprehensible is going to help you change that view far more than simply shouting that it’s wrong. > > This isn’t directed at anyone specifically, least of all **olivesmarch4th**. The problem is that when they are making a case for why the interpretation could have been a correct one, it sounds an awful lot like condoning the interpretation when they put forth personal examples defending the interpretation. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky_the_Wonder_Spirit)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/820 "2013-04-19T22:55:59Z")
> [@colander](#): > > has it perhaps occurred to you that we don’t need those things explained to us because we have been over this shit literally billions and billions of times both on the internet and in our real lives Shame on you! **Steophan** is a unique and precious snowflake, with truly singular viewpoints on these issues that he only wants to _share_! ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2013, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/821 "2013-04-19T23:38:09Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Would that I had so much eloquence. **colander** is extremely rad, but you are one of the most eloquent posters on this (or any other) message board. I know everyone adores you, and you’re probably sick of it, but I had to say it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424.md?page=40) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424.md?page=42)