# Guys, Y U no listen? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424 "2013-04-11T17:32:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 43
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/842 "2013-04-20T13:47:50Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Wait . . . where’s the misogyny here? > > > [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > > > I’ll buy you a mirror, since apparently you don’t have any available. Which is odd for such a narcissistic cock. > > > > > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > > > > > You are a rapist. Wow. Just…wow. Aren’t you the guy who claims to be a tax lawyer? With a young daughter? ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/843 "2013-04-20T13:53:48Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > You are a rapist. no way, you have a daughter? that is sad. YOU are sad. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/844 "2013-04-20T14:13:16Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > Wow. > > Just…wow. > > Aren’t you the guy who claims to be a tax lawyer? With a young daughter? You are a Nazi. > [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > no way, you have a daughter? that is sad. > > YOU are sad. You are a devil worshipper. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/845 "2013-04-20T14:20:59Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > You are a Nazi. > > You are a devil worshipper. Is there a point you’re trying to make here, other than “I, Rand Rover, am a troll, and not a particularly good one either”? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/846 "2013-04-20T14:57:04Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > no way, you have a daughter? that is sad. > > YOU are sad. Right now, he’s actually more just behaving like a seven year old trying to get a rise out of the grown ups. And its working. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/847 "2013-04-20T15:21:46Z")
Okay, I’ve come to the conclusion after reading this and other related threads that the only way no-means-no is ever to be taken seriously is if it is given in a firm, no-nonsense voice, accompanied by a stern look, a cricket bat the groinal region, and a 5-second blast of the rape whistle. In fact, I think a few pro-active “noes” might be in order, just to test the principal. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/848 "2013-04-20T16:17:53Z")
Anything other than siccing attack dogs on me means I have a chance. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/849 "2013-04-20T17:34:48Z")
may Lucifer Bless You Always ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/850 "2013-04-20T18:24:16Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Anything other than siccing attack dogs on me means I have a chance. Don’t be a quitter. If one of the dogs is also a bitch you might still have a chance with it. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/851 "2013-04-20T19:07:53Z")
> [@Rune](#): > > If one of the dogs is also a bitch you might still have a chance with it. Again with the slut-shaming. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/852 "2013-04-22T00:28:39Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > And **treis** , of course, very much deserves a pitting for his stubbornly archaic beliefs about women. Archaic? I’m not reading from a '50s field manual on women for men. I’m telling you what women have directly and explicitly told me. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/853 "2013-04-22T02:46:01Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Archaic? I’m not reading from a '50s field manual on women for men. I’m telling you what women have directly and explicitly told me. Did they tell you this before or after they broke it off with you? ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/854 "2013-04-22T23:20:07Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Did they tell you this before or after they broke it off with you? The ones I was dating I broke it off with and the others were friends. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/855 "2013-04-22T23:41:16Z")
**treis** , you now have a number of women directly and explicitly telling you that continuing to press the issue after you’ve been told “no” is, in fact, a bad idea. Make of that what you will. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/856 "2013-04-22T23:57:05Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > **treis** , you now have a number of women directly and explicitly telling you that continuing to press the issue after you’ve been told “no” is, in fact, a bad idea. Make of that what you will. What exactly do you think I should make of it? These women I mentioned are figments of my imagination, lied to me for the hell of it, or are some extreme outliers that I just happened to meet? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/857 "2013-04-23T00:01:12Z")
> [@treis](#): > > What exactly do you think I should make of it? These women I mentioned are figments of my imagination, lied to me for the hell of it, or are some extreme outliers that I just happened to meet? Or you filtered what they said through your preconceived notion of how women think. You demonstrated it here and when a number of us re-interpreted for you in another way, you ignored it. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/858 "2013-04-23T00:12:55Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Or you filtered what they said through your preconceived notion of how women think. You demonstrated it here and when a number of us re-interpreted for you in another way, you ignored it. I posted what are to the best of my recollection exact quotes. And there’s not a lot of room to interpret “I didn’t want you to think I was a slut”. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/859 "2013-04-23T00:19:13Z")
> [@treis](#): > > I posted what are to the best of my recollection exact quotes. And there’s not a lot of room to interpret “I didn’t want you to think I was a slut”. Again, the interpretation is that you took that to mean “no can really mean yes” as opposed to “She meant no and here is why”. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/860 "2013-04-23T00:21:32Z")
> [@treis](#): > > What exactly do you think I should make of it? These women I mentioned are figments of my imagination, lied to me for the hell of it, or are some extreme outliers that I just happened to meet? The trouble isn’t that you aren’t allowed to make anything of it. The trouble is that you want to make something out of it that doesn’t have anything to do with what everyone else is talking about. Here, how’s this: I believe you that one time a girl told you she didn’t want to have sex, and then later she told you that the reason she said no was that she didn’t want you to think she was a slut. I accept that you have rendered a full and faithful account of what happened that time. I’m not accusing you of making it up. What I’m doing is accusing myself of not giving a shit about that story when it comes to the story that the rest of these people are actually talking about. That is the trouble. You’re bringing it up to demonstrate that sometimes no means yes, and that consequently it’s OK to hear “no” and think “probably yes!”, and I want everyone to be on the same page here, so to be clear: _that_ is why you’re stupid. That is a stupid thing, and you keep saying it, but you aren’t saying “this is stupid;” you’re saying “this is important.” It is not important. For one thing, no meant no that time, too! She didn’t want to have sex! She used no to mean no, and presumably because this occurred before the stupid factory polluted your neighborhood well, you actually understood that at the time. What she told you later about _why_ she didn’t want to have sex is irrelevant. For another – and this is a thing that has been brought up maybe twenty times, and I’ve yet to see you address it – it has no relevance to **MeanOldLady** ’s story. OK, one time a lady said no, she didn’t want to have sex (and you didn’t), and then later she said she was into having sex, she just didn’t want you to think she was a slut the first time. Isn’t the point of that story that if you just fucking listen to what the broad says, it isn’t very fucking confusing or abstract at all? Didn’t she goddamned use English words to describe straightforward concepts in a straightforward way and broadcast the appropriate messages to you? How is that a story that supports your terrible point about how you can’t listen to what they say about sex, you just have to know what’s good for’em? You see? Stupid point. You can make whatever you like of those women, but some of it will be stupid. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/861 "2013-04-23T00:26:08Z")
Ignore what I wrote. Read what **Jimmy Chitwood** just said. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424.md?page=42) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424.md?page=44)