# Guys, Y U no listen? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424 "2013-04-11T17:32:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/121 "2013-04-12T01:26:00Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > At the same time, men desire sex deeply. More so than women. Upon what do you base this assertion? ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/122 "2013-04-12T01:28:51Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > **LHoD** said it better than I can and with more class, but I’m more concerned with **MOL** ’s sexual frustration. I mean, she connected with this guy early on, but things fizzled and she had to get rid of a persistent, clueless turkey and find another sexual outlet. **MeanOldLady** , I don’t know why that guy didn’t stay Awesome or call in a friend who was better and more exciting to fill in. How inconsiderate of your sexual needs! I don’t know why you would be more concerned with MOL sexual needs than the guys? If it’s simply personal, and you think the guys a douche, I guess. I’d be more concerned for her safety. > [@Troppus](#): > > This is patently false. [WebMd says otherwise.](http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare) ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/123 "2013-04-12T01:28:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Gavin Di Becker talks about Date Stalking in The Gift of Fear. Unfortunately for women any little concession they make will just embolden a guy like this. this is an excellent book: every woman should read it. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/124 "2013-04-12T01:30:01Z")
Yeah I’m very interested to see where this random sputtering is going to lead us. What is the ultimate hypothesis here? That men are more desiring of sex, and women are withholding it, therefore we should not be surprised when men are motivated to do rude and/or dangerous things as a result of that frustration? And the prostitution would fix this? Because it’s like poverty and crime, and if you withhold sex…then…what? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/125 "2013-04-12T01:31:54Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > I don’t know why you would be more concerned with MOL sexual needs than the guys? If it’s simply personal, and you think the guys a douche, I guess. I’d be more concerned for her safety. > > [WebMd says otherwise.](http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare) Why are you more concerned with his sexual frustration? How about no one ever holds the expectation that another person satisfy the urges they alone are responsible for and they alone can satisfy without assistance? Wouldn’t that be better? WebMd didn’t say that. Columnist Richard Sine did. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/126 "2013-04-12T01:32:21Z")
I’m interested to see if you’re you g to offer any solutions of your own. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/127 "2013-04-12T01:33:24Z")
Nobody even knows what “solution” you’re offering for what “problem” you’re addressing. What is the problem according to you? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/128 "2013-04-12T01:34:11Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > I’m interested to see if you’re you g to offer any solutions of your own. Solutions to what? **MOL** solved it. No more Mrs. Nice Guy even on the rainiest of nights. That guy’s ill-mannered expression of frustration isn’t my problem, nor is it yours. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/129 "2013-04-12T01:44:58Z")
**panaccione** , I feel like you are confusing a _desire_ with a _need_. Sex does not equal food, shelter, or oxygen. No one “deserves” sexual gratification from another. No one’s health will decline, no one can legitimately blame crime on his/her unsatisfied sexual desires, and no one will die without sex. The problem you’re alluding to is the opposite of what you are leaning towards: your solution is to give horny men the sex they desire. If I were to propose a solution, it would be to remove any sense of entitlement from those horny men. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/130 "2013-04-12T01:45:53Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > Nobody even knows what “solution” you’re offering for what “problem” you’re addressing. What is the problem according to you? The root of this guy’s issue. Can we look past his actions? There is no question that it is the most inexecusable and objectionable aspect to the whole story. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/131 "2013-04-12T01:52:16Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > **panaccione** , I feel like you are confusing a _desire_ with a _need_. Sex does not equal food, shelter, or oxygen. No one “deserves” sexual gratification from another. No one’s health will decline, no one can legitimately blame crime on his/her unsatisfied sexual desires, and no one will die without sex. > > The problem you’re alluding to is the opposite of what you are leaning towards: your solution is to give horny men the sex they desire. If I were to propose a solution, it would be to remove any sense of entitlement from those horny men. Ok, fair enough. I guess I didn’t consider that. Care to elaborate on how you remove this sense of entitlement? ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/132 "2013-04-12T01:52:41Z")
Which is what? What is at the root of his issue? You seem to be suggesting it is sexual frustration and that prostitution solves it. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/133 "2013-04-12T01:53:43Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > Which is what? What is at the root of his issue? You seem to be suggesting it is sexual frustration and that prostitution solves it. Yeah. It’s just a hypothesis. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/134 "2013-04-12T01:57:39Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > I’m interested to see if you’re you g to offer any solutions of your own. beat off you’re welcome ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/135 "2013-04-12T01:58:48Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > I say prostitution is a viable solution, and you call it a non-sequitor. Perhaps, it’s just a difference of opinion. But, please if you’re going to criticize my views, at least offer solutions of your own. Prostitution is not a viable solution, because we already have it and it’s not working. I’ve seen no good research establishing a link between common prostitution and low rates of sexual assault or harassment. For your hypothesis to be worthwhile, it must at minimum predict such a link, yes? Here’s my solution: change sex ed to include very clear information on consent. **MeanOldLady’s** posts in this thread could be part of the curriculum. And I’m only slightly joking. I’m very unlikely ever to have a son, but I’ve long thought that if I did, I’d make such issues integral to my son’s sex ed, and they’ll certainly be a big part of what I teach my daughters when the time comes. A school curriculum that doesn’t teach kids exactly what consent means and how to navigate the murky waters of understanding and giving consent is failing our kids. The OP is exhibit A. Edit: **colander** , I was thinking of offering [a similar solution](http://www.charter.com/top/internet) ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/136 "2013-04-12T02:10:50Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > Ok, fair enough. I guess I didn’t consider that. Care to elaborate on how you remove this sense of entitlement? If dialogue doesn’t do it, then social and legal repercussions will have to suffice. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/137 "2013-04-12T02:12:58Z")
> [@colander](#): > > beat off > > you’re welcome I’m sure he does. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/138 "2013-04-12T02:19:37Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > I’m sure he does. that is some buffalo bill shit right there who else lives in you, **pannacione** ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/139 "2013-04-12T02:24:41Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > She’s venting. It ain’t no big deal. She’s venting about something with ridiculously obvious solutions: (1) Call a cab 15 minutes before the restaurant closes (2) Call the cab before you leave the restaurant (3) Whip out your phone and call the cab yourself This is how the dating world works. I believe there have been exactly three recorded instances of a woman inviting a man on the first date back to her apartment with the explicit purpose to have sex. To paraphrase Robin from How I Met Your Mother: “A Lady invents a respectable excuse to invite a man over when she wants to get stuck real good. It’s called class”. Her complaint is essentially “I sent mixed signals and a guy got the wrong idea”. _YAWN_ ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/140 "2013-04-12T02:27:35Z")
> [@treis](#): > > To paraphrase Robin from How I Met Your Mother: have you considered maybe not getting your dating advice from shitty network sitcoms. (it is kind of like trying to get home improvement advice by putting your ear to that funny hole someone drilled into the men’s toilet stall separator) thanks in advance [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424.md?page=8)