# Guys, Y U no listen?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 11, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424 "2013-04-11T17:32:23Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 780

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**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\
**Post date:** [April 18, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-y-u-no-listen/655424/780 "2013-04-18T19:58:01Z")

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😛

> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#):
>
> Well, it’s certainly your right to avoid potential unpleasantness. On the other hand, it does make it difficult to make sure that we’re talking about the same thing without having some common referent we can both observe and reflect upon. In my opinion, it’s less helpful to have a dialog without being clear what we’re talking about.
> 
> Otherwise, we can come up with hypothetical examples of just how terrible and unreasonable one gender or another can be (as a monolithic group), can agree how justified we are to feel that way, and ultimately end up feeling depressed about how shitty the world is.
> 
> I just don’t think that’s as productive a discussion as alternative strategies might be.

That’s a wordy way to say “Use plainspeak”

> [@Treis, no means no.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/treis-no-means-no/655556/117):
>
> So the reality is that no does not always mean absolutely no. It can mean, “yes, but I want you to be the instigator”.

> [@Treis, no means no.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/treis-no-means-no/655556/466):
>
> I’m not disagreeing with you. Because, as you may or may not recall, that’s what I did. But at this point the conversation moves from “Are you an asshole if you gently push?” to “Will gently pushing lead to the best outcome?”.

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