# Guys: Y'all Ever Measure Your Penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 22, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169 "2011-02-22T00:59:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/21 "2011-02-22T08:59:24Z")
Academy Awards for length, Grammy’s for width. ---
**Author:** ![TravisFromOR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cc9497/32.png) [@TravisFromOR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TravisFromOR)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/22 "2011-02-22T09:02:31Z")
Like with firearms, it’s not what you have, but what you do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/23 "2011-02-22T10:57:34Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > _I_ can confidently state that my penis is long enough to reach _her_\*, and _that’s_ all that matters. 🙂 > > - and then some. 😉 Detachable penis! ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/24 "2011-02-22T11:21:47Z")
A sextant. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/25 "2011-02-22T11:29:55Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > My wife’s hands. > > Is four hands big or not? Your wife has four hands? Handy. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/26 "2011-02-22T12:02:23Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > I don’t know if I can do this legally here, but we all need to direct our attention to our Kiwi friends in New Zealand who are going through an earthquake… Yeah, sorry about that. I was measuring mine and I accidentally dropped it. Too soon? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/27 "2011-02-22T12:04:33Z")
Pedometer. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/28 "2011-02-22T14:25:10Z")
[One of these](http://www.evidentcrimescene.com/cata/meas/Wheel2.jpg) mmm ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/29 "2011-02-22T14:35:16Z")
[VLBI](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Very_long_baseline_interferometry). ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/30 "2011-02-22T15:13:25Z")
I used a barometer. Stormy Weather… ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/31 "2011-02-22T15:13:58Z")
I notice no numbers being posted up. I’d post numbers if the ruler was long enough. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/32 "2011-02-22T15:38:47Z")
never measured it but i do tuck it in my sock so that it doesn’t scrape on the ground. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/33 "2011-02-22T15:40:37Z")
> [@toofs](#): > > I notice no numbers being posted up. > > I’d post numbers if the ruler was long enough. if a ruler isn’t long enough then a yard stick and a meter stick for those gifted. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/34 "2011-02-22T16:11:12Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > if a ruler isn’t long enough then a yard stick and a meter stick for those gifted. Some of us need a yard stick _and_ a metre stick. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/35 "2011-02-22T16:30:21Z")
A Swedish, somewhat satirical, magazine once published an article about the difference in mean length between two different groups of men, one Czech and one Nigerian (the Nigerians were longer) and in the margin was a ruler for some reason. When you turned to the next page there was a correction box that said that they had no idea how this mishap could have happened, but if you wanted to measure anything with the ruler on the previous page you had to deduct 20% to get the correct length. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/36 "2011-02-22T16:39:02Z")
I’ve measured its displacement by dunking my junk in some water. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/37 "2011-02-22T16:44:20Z")
I learned that my ruler was inaccurate. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/38 "2011-02-22T16:50:59Z")
NASA is planning to do so for me. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/39 "2011-02-22T16:57:14Z")
Remember guys: you measure _from the top_. Anything else is just cheating… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/40 "2011-02-22T17:18:51Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Remember guys: you measure _from the top_. Anything else is just cheating… 😉 I hate having to hold my metre stick over my head. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169.md?page=3)