# Guys: Y'all Ever Measure Your Penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 22, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169 "2011-02-22T00:59:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/41 "2011-02-22T19:15:01Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > A sextant. But how LONG is your sex tent? ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/42 "2011-02-22T20:47:46Z")
Cubits. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/43 "2011-02-22T21:44:10Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Your penis made the Kessel Run? I think he means it made the cattle run. (if ya know what i mean) ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/44 "2011-02-23T01:46:53Z")
Decibels of the screams it produces. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/45 "2011-02-23T02:16:16Z")
My penis measures _me_. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/46 "2011-02-23T02:52:52Z")
fun fact: You can gain like an inch by losing weight. Don’t ask me how I know. And for God’s sake, don’t google “FUPA”. NSFW. Do not google. etc. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/47 "2011-02-23T03:11:55Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > **elf**! :):)🙂 > > Both! 🙂 > > OMG! I don’t _believe_ I made that mistake!!! ROTFLMAO!!! > > Q You realize that a stretchy ruler would make the measurement smaller, right? BTW, dollar bill. It’s almost as if they and I were minted on the same press. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/48 "2011-02-23T03:55:44Z")
Is that before or after you make a mushroom out of Washington’s head? ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/49 "2011-02-23T03:58:52Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > You realize that a stretchy ruler would make the measurement smaller, right? > > BTW, dollar bill. It’s almost as if they and I were minted on the same press. Well yeah, I guess it would, **Chess** ;), thanks for pointing that to me! Q ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/50 "2011-02-23T04:08:57Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > You realize that a stretchy ruler would make the measurement smaller, right? Of course, but that’s only to help others not feel as jealous. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/51 "2011-02-23T08:30:36Z")
Hand over hand like choosing who gets to bat first. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/52 "2011-02-23T08:50:45Z")
Yes. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/53 "2011-02-23T12:22:10Z")
I used vaginas. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/54 "2011-02-23T18:30:21Z")
Richter scale. ---
**Author:** ![Rafe\_Hollister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Rafe\_Hollister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rafe_Hollister)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/55 "2011-02-23T19:38:02Z")
I don’t want to give details, but I’ll just say that Chuck Norris is scared to get too close to me. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/56 "2011-02-23T19:58:06Z")
[QUOTE=Heyoka13] I’ve never measured it, but I can tell you the water is cold and deep in the company urinal . . . [/QUOTE] > [@Malacandra](#): > > And the bottom’s _sandy_. 😛 Are you talking about the sediment on the basement pipes, the pipe in the street, or the one at the river? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/57 "2011-02-23T19:58:12Z")
Satellite picture. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/58 "2011-02-23T20:08:21Z")
Now I feel inadequate. I’m only 2.5 inches. We are measuring across, right? ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2011, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/59 "2011-02-23T23:48:06Z")
Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/60 "2011-02-24T00:35:18Z")
I did it one time for lulz. I am precisely the Kinsey average in length and girth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169.md?page=4)