# Guys: Y'all Ever Measure Your Penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 22, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169 "2011-02-22T00:59:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/61 "2011-02-24T00:37:53Z")
The only appropriate unit of measurement for penises is the [Rod](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rod_(unit)). ---
**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/62 "2011-02-24T01:25:26Z")
Had mine measured _for_ me, once upon a time. Sweet lass, she was. She must’ve been satisfied with her findings, too, as she continued her experiments with the subject in question for several months afterward. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/63 "2011-02-24T01:41:56Z")
Gagging sounds. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/64 "2011-02-24T02:16:42Z")
Mine is 1 AU. That’s an Astronomical Unit\*. \*That’s what _she_ said! ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/65 "2011-02-24T02:17:58Z")
Ebay bids. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/66 "2011-02-24T02:47:30Z")
I tried once but after three years of non-stop measuring I got bored. Serious answer: about 14 feet. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/67 "2011-02-24T03:31:20Z")
[“Enormous Penis”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9iiU6NDxIo) by Da Vinci’s Notebook pretty much describes me. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/68 "2011-02-24T03:51:58Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Now I feel inadequate. I’m only 2.5 inches. > > We are measuring across, right? Centimeters, **tdn** and the final measurement is length times girth divided by 4.0! 😉 Q ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/69 "2011-02-24T08:36:43Z")
Boards broken. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/70 "2011-02-24T11:01:10Z")
[Stretch Armstrong.](http://www.cinemablend.com/images/news_img/16925/taylor_lautner_16925.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/71 "2011-02-24T11:26:01Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Are you talking about the sediment on the basement pipes, the pipe in the street, or the one at the river? The sea-bottom at the river-mouth, surely. Once you get past the silt layer, I guess it must be, otherwise it would be mud not sand, wouldn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/72 "2011-02-24T11:35:21Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > [Stretch Armstrong.](http://www.cinemablend.com/images/news_img/16925/taylor_lautner_16925.jpg) But [Mr. Fantastic](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mister_Fantastic)’s won’t break off or get all limp after repeated use. ---
**Author:** ![Aghris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecccb3/32.png) [@Aghris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aghris)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/73 "2011-02-24T14:28:47Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > And the bottom’s sandy. > > > [@BubbaDog](#): > > > > Are you talking about the sediment on the basement pipes, the pipe in the street, or the one at the river? No, no, you misunderstand. The bottom’s _name_ is Sandy. And he uses a tacheometer. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/74 "2011-02-24T14:54:00Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Centimeters, **tdn** and the final measurement is length times girth divided by 4.0! 😉 > > Q Ah, thanks. I didn’t get the math right the first time. So let’s do this again. Length L, times Girth G, carry the one, divide by one comes out to be the same thing, then divide by constant 4.0, with a remainder R, round off the the nearest decimal place, = Frickin’ Huuuuge. Math is so sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/75 "2011-02-24T15:15:49Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > But [Mr. Fantastic](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mister_Fantastic)’s won’t break off or get all limp after repeated use. Huh. I always wondered why Sue Storm was always drawn smiling… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/76 "2011-02-25T18:23:33Z")
Time in solving a Rubic’s cube. ---
**Author:** ![mookieblaylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@mookieblaylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mookieblaylock)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/77 "2011-02-25T19:18:09Z")
Nah, I never bothered to. What does it matter how big it is? It’s not like I ever use it. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/78 "2011-02-25T19:31:28Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > Mine is 1 AU. That’s an Astronomical Unit\*. :: tries to think of joke involving dwarf planets and Uranus, fails :: ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/79 "2011-02-25T19:56:21Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > If so, what did you use, a wooden yardstick, a carpenter’s measuring tape or a **tailor’s** measuring tape? The last is the only one that makes any sense, as it is the only one that can comfortably wrap _around_ the penis to measure **girth**. Men obsess about length, but what I’ve heard women praise is thickness. The average vagina comfortably holds the average penis. From the porn I’ve seen (and I’ve seen a lot) the poor schmoes who have extra-long penises (peni?) can never fit them all the way into even the most experienced porn starlet’s vagina. Ron Jeremy and John Holmes both had to refrain from plunging deeply, often holding their hand around the base. Only when engaging in anal sex, or with the exceptionally talented deep throat artist like Little Oral Annie, can they experience the sensation of going all the way in. I don’t have the cite, but I recall the average depth of a vagina is roughly 6", which matches the average penis length of just under 6". ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4bbf92/32.png) [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Hamsandwich)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/80 "2011-02-25T20:31:36Z")
My penis once divided itself by zero. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169.md?page=5)