# Guys: Y'all Ever Measure Your Penis? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 22, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169 "2011-02-22T00:59:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/81 "2011-02-25T21:59:48Z")
> [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](#): > > My penis once divided itself by zero. Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/82 "2011-02-25T22:12:36Z")
> [@Darth\_Hamsandwich](#): > > My penis once divided itself by zero. That’s gotta suck. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/83 "2011-02-25T22:26:29Z")
> [@mookieblaylock](#): > > Nah, I never bothered to. What does it matter how big it is? It’s not like I ever use it. :D:D:D Join the club, my friend! I’m on so many meds right now that the only way I can achieve a hardon is to get arthritis in it!;)😃 Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/84 "2011-02-25T23:19:50Z")
Chin ups. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/85 "2011-02-26T02:43:21Z")
Applause meter. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/86 "2011-02-26T02:53:42Z")
A wonderful bird is the pelican His bill can hold more than his belican He can hold in his beak Food enough for a week But my dick’s shorter than that… Fucks up the rhyme, don’t it. Guess mine doesn’t measure up. Damn, that sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/87 "2011-02-26T03:36:33Z")
Experience points. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/88 "2011-02-26T04:21:52Z")
Stellar parallax. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/89 "2011-02-26T04:39:56Z")
Tire pressure gauge. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/90 "2011-02-26T06:50:56Z")
[The Mohs hardness scale](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohs_scale_of_mineral_hardness) ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/91 "2011-02-26T19:19:27Z")
Tuning forks. ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/92 "2011-02-26T20:36:13Z")
I use my computer keyboard. Pleased to say I go all the way from A to Z. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/93 "2011-02-26T20:57:53Z")
# of Facebook fans. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/94 "2011-02-26T21:27:50Z")
I’d be glad to measure mine if only I could find it. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/95 "2011-02-26T21:29:21Z")
Car battery tester. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/96 "2011-02-26T23:07:47Z")
Gravitational field ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/97 "2011-02-26T23:25:56Z")
SAT score. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/98 "2011-02-26T23:56:40Z")
My dick is so big it has its own dick, and my dick’s dick is bigger than _your_ dick. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/99 "2011-02-27T03:52:16Z")
I have a tattoo of a large penis on the side of my dick… still trying to figure out what to put on the remaining two thirds… ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/guys-yall-ever-measure-your-penis/572169/100 "2011-02-27T04:41:23Z")
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