# Gym etiquette question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 26, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933 "2010-03-26T20:14:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Coil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Coil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coil)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/1 "2010-03-26T20:14:16Z")
I have been going to the gym a lot lately and being single I have noticed a lot of lovely looking ladies. I am sure I would have noticed them when I was married too, but then I was not interested. I am wondering what the etiquette is regarding flirting with or approaching people at the gym. Is it ok to approach someone at the gym or would you see it as being interrupted during your workout? Obviously this is going to vary a lot depending on the type of gym, location, etc. But I’d be interested in hearing your experiences and opinions. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/2 "2010-03-26T20:17:50Z")
Etiquette: Don’t Most folks are there for working out. Unless the gym has a juice bar/cafe, I would say the whole place is off limits. If there is a non-gym area like the cafe, that would be treated different as usually people are in their street clothes. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/3 "2010-03-26T20:27:13Z")
It’s not a good idea. People don’t like to be bothered when they work out, especially woman. Though I would say if a woman asks a man it probably wouldn’t bother him. 🙂 If you want to do this, the best way is to join an exercise class. This is an easy way to meet and talk to woman. The class meets every week at a set time and you usually have people start coming around 10 minutes before the class starts so you are in a room, supposedly for a purpose 🙂 and you able to chat a bit without looking obvious ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/4 "2010-03-26T21:07:44Z")
I’m a woman and I get pissed when some doof decides to mac on me at the gym. I’m here to work out - if I wanted to be hit on I’d go to a bar. That being said, I wear no makeup, gym clothes, hair in a ponytail, etc. - if a gal shows up fully decked out with her boobs racked out, and her lips glossed and spends a lot of time stretching beside the heavy weights and almost no time actually sweating - well, go for it - she’s probably keen to get hit on. ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/5 "2010-03-26T21:08:58Z")
In the lockerroom in ze nude. ---
**Author:** ![Coil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Coil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coil)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/6 "2010-03-26T21:22:35Z")
That is what I expected to hear and why I haven’t done any flirting at the gym. If I should happen to see the fully decked out gal by the heavy weights I’m pretty sure she’s not interested in me. I’ll be at the other end by the lighter weights. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/7 "2010-03-26T21:49:17Z")
You can tell the girls who are there to get picked up. They’re walking slowly on the treadmill, with makeup perfect in really cute matching outfits. Stay away from the ones working up a sweat with her iPod on. She’s not interested in making friends. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/8 "2010-03-27T22:07:58Z")
Disagree!! Well, sort of … Many women don’t like to be disturbed when they’re working out, just as many men don’t. But some don’t mind … even the ones who have their game face on and are doing more pull ups than you can do. My advice: (1) When you approach them, say something related to working out. Examples: “Are you training for something?,” “How long have you been lifting?,” “How does the wide grip develop your lat spread differently from the narrow grip?”. (2) The most important thing is just to gauge the woman’s reaction. If her response is engaging, friendly, and prompts further conversation, you’re golden. And if her response seems stilted, at least you know not to take it personally. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2010, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/9 "2010-03-27T22:56:50Z")
If you’re at the 24 Hour Fitness in West Hollywood, then flirting is expected. (if you’re gay) Other than that, I would go with the group and say to avoid in in general. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/10 "2010-03-28T02:04:10Z")
I dunno, I wouldn’t expect for some guy to make conversation. It’d be weird trying to make small talk while I’m trying to work out, and I’m all sweaty and gross. But if a guy came over to me and said, “Hi, I don’t want to interrupt you while you’re working out, but I was wondering if you’d like to get coffee sometime. Here’s my number”, it’d be OK as long as he made a gracious exit. I’d call. But then again I don’t get asked out all that often, so what do I know. 🙂 If someone asked me questions or whatever to see if I recoil in horror, that’d be fine too, I guess. But when I’m at the gym, I’m a woman on a mission. I don’t really hang out. I s’pose though, overall, I’d just as soon someone made small talk with me on the way in or out rather than while I’m grunting in exertion. You know, just seems more civilized that way. ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/11 "2010-03-28T02:40:20Z")
Some men don’t find sweat on a woman all that gross 🙂 To the OP, I’d suggest not bothering unless you have a pretty thick skin. If you get to be known as “that guy that asks everyone out,” it might make going to the gym regularly uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Dereknocue67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@Dereknocue67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dereknocue67)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/12 "2010-03-28T12:55:51Z")
The best way I’ve found is to slowly walk up behind one of the lovely ladies and hit them over the head with a large wooden club. Once unconsciousness sets in, drag them back home by their hair. Ladies seems to appreciate this macho approach.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/13 "2010-03-28T16:57:48Z")
> [@Dereknocue67](#): > > The best way I’ve found is to slowly walk up behind one of the lovely ladies and hit them over the head with a large wooden club. Once unconsciousness sets in, drag them back home by their hair. Ladies seems to appreciate this macho approach.😉 If she’s on a treadmill when you do this, the machine will actually bring her back to you. Convenient! Be cautions when trying this approach on a girl using dumbells or barbells. If she’s got a dumbbell, and you aren’t sneaky enough, you could find yourself getting clicked in the face with a 5lb weight! If she’s using a barbell, and you do this, she might end up dropping the weight on herself, and this could reduce your chance of second dates. In all seriousness, I’d say, definitely don’t try to start a conversation while she’s actively pumping iron or something, MAYBE when she’s walking form one part of the gym to the other, but mostly, yeah, the juice bar or if you run into her on the way out is better (just avoid the “hovering around waiting” thing). And yeah, signing up for a class to meet people sounds generally keen to me. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/14 "2010-03-29T04:58:53Z")
1. Don’t shit where you eat. 2. Don’t be that guy. Gyms are a pretty small community. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gym-etiquette-question/533933/15 "2010-03-29T18:44:45Z")
Yeah, no. It is an unspoken rule. Gym is neutral territory where you are free to work out and not be disturbed by wondering if the dude you shot down is now ogling you. It’s kind of like the unspoken rule that says when I guy is at urinal number one, you are _only_ expected to use urinal number two (next to him) if urinal number three at the other end of the room is on fire and spewing flames toward your weanie. Do not ask the girl out while inside the gym. Follow her home and knock on her door. ETA: For the most exciting result, do this late at night while wearing a William Shatner mask.