# Hack her to death with a kitchen knife. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 30, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256 "2004-08-30T16:42:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/21 "2004-08-30T17:45:54Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Well, dayum! I started it last week, and figured that nobody would even get the reference, much less want to repeat it. And now I find out it’s all the rage. Woo hoo! I started a message board trend! > > (Thanks for the support, World Eater!) Hey, it was/is funny as hell to me. I think **Mockingbird** get’s an assist too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/22 "2004-08-30T18:01:15Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > linkleberrysaurus \ How about “de-vein her with a grapefruit spoon?” ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/23 "2004-08-30T18:08:04Z")
Not funny and, as someone who had a friend (well, a boyfriend’s sister) murdered by being “hacked to death with a kitchen knife” insensitive and rather hurtful. I won’t make a federal case out of it or anything - other people obviously have a different sense of humor than I do. But its the most tasteless in joke I’ve ever seen the SDMB come up with - what’s next, dead baby jokes? Matthew Sheppard humor? Really, we can do better. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/24 "2004-08-30T18:13:16Z")
How about no #3 at all? I guess I’m in the minority on this, but I rarely find these in-jokes anything but tiresome and a demonstration that the person writing the post isn’t clever enough to think of something original to say. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/25 "2004-08-30T18:32:04Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > \ > > How about “de-vein her with a grapefruit spoon?” Youch! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/26 "2004-08-30T18:39:25Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Not funny and, as someone who had a friend (well, a boyfriend’s sister) murdered by being “hacked to death with a kitchen knife” insensitive and rather hurtful. > > I won’t make a federal case out of it or anything - other people obviously have a different sense of humor than I do. But its the most tasteless in joke I’ve ever seen the SDMB come up with - what’s next, dead baby jokes? Matthew Sheppard humor? Really, we can do better. What, hack Mathew Sheppard to death with a dead baby? Or hack Mathew Sheppard’s baby to death with a grapefruit spoon? Now you’re just being sick! When I originally made that joke, it was in context, and I thought it was pretty funny. But out of context, I can see how it might give offense. So I will: 1. Cease 2. Desist 3. What an elephant was doing in my pajamas, I’ll never know ---
**Author:** ![percypercy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@percypercy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/percypercy)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/27 "2004-08-30T18:41:35Z")
If we must have a number 3, Hack her to death with a kitchen knife is a hell of a lot funnier than Hi Opal, and so much less overused(at this point). -Lil ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/28 "2004-08-30T18:44:36Z")
My thoughts on the subject are as follows 1. I really didn’t find “Hi, Opal!” tiresome, even though I’ve personally only used it once. 2. The only time I’ve actually run into “Hack her to death with a kitchen knife” was in a thread about how to impress a girl on a first date, and it took me a while to realize that it was being presented as the new #3. I didn’t find it funny at all. 3. Bring on the tentacled monsters!!! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/29 "2004-08-30T18:57:48Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > When I originally made that joke, it was in context, and I thought it was pretty funny. But out of context, I can see how it might give offense. In context, it was fine. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/30 "2004-08-30T19:27:31Z")
OO! OO! 1. Pinch her to death with sugar tongs! Heh - that cracks my shit up…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/31 "2004-08-30T19:45:50Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > How about no #3 at all? I guess I’m in the minority on this, but I rarely find these in-jokes anything but tiresome and a demonstration that the person writing the post isn’t clever enough to think of something original to say. Seconded. The “Hi Opal” thing was amusing in the thread where it started, but it’s gotten tired, and half the time people don’t use it “correctly” anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/32 "2004-08-30T20:12:29Z")
Just so we are all absolutely clear, ‘Hack her to death with a kitchen knife’ is taken from a 1st season Saturday Night Live skit when the show was hosted by Anthony Perkins. The skit is titled ‘Norman Bates School of Hotel Management’. The particular passages are quoted: "Question 1: A guest loses the key to her room. Would you A) Give her a duplicate key B) Let her in with your passkey C) Hack her to death with a kitchen knife Question 2: Which of the following is the most important in running a successful motel? A) Cordial atmosphere B) Courteous service C) Hack her to death with a kitchen knife " It was funny then, and it’s funny now. However, in my opinion, we don’t need to borrow from copywrited material to have a SDMB in-joke. There are many many smart funny people right here in our community that are more than capable of creating an original in-joke. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/33 "2004-08-30T20:26:58Z")
I skimmed the linked thread and didn’t see it, I don’t recall seeing it here so… Tony Perkins (the killer from _Psycho_) was a guest star on Saturday Night Live (IIRC). He had a skit wherein he was a motel owner giving advise to folks who might be considering opening their own motels. He asked a series of multiple choice questions to help you decide if the job was right for you. All of them ended in “#3: Hack her to death with a kitchen knife.” Sorry if this was already explained. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/34 "2004-08-30T20:30:47Z")
WTF **Rufus**? You lookin over my shoulder? c: Burn Opal’s Dog with your 1920’s style death Ray…and when come back, bring pie! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/35 "2004-08-30T20:31:00Z")
How 'bout if everyone just comes up with their own #3? Something that is just weird enough that it is obviously there to satisfy **OpalCat’s** need for a list to have at least three items (unless it is in a thread about hentai) but is unique to the individual poster, so that people won’t get tired of seeing the same “in-joke” on the boards over and over and on and on until they start foaming at the mouth and fall over? I’ve noticed, also, that most of the objections to “Hi, Opal!” have to do with the fact that it is being used improperly. The #3 item on the list should not be used on a list that would have three or more items. The #3 item should only be used in cases where the “list” would only have two items, and therefore not properly be a list. ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/36 "2004-08-30T20:32:10Z")
Well, I had no idea that was a SNL skit! Some ignorance fighter I am! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/37 "2004-08-30T20:34:54Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > The particular passages are quoted: You forgot one, I think: Do you put her in the room A) Closest to your office B) Furthest from your office C) (Hi Opal!) ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/38 "2004-08-30T20:37:51Z")
> [@The Asbestos Mango](#): > > I’ve noticed, also, that most of the objections to “Hi, Opal!” have to do with the fact that it is being used improperly. The #3 item on the list should not be used on a list that would have three or more items. The #3 item should only be used in cases where the “list” would only have two items, and therefore not properly be a list. [A lot of people don’t like it because it’s trite and overused.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=162955) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/39 "2004-08-30T21:05:47Z")
Ah, but didn’t it become trite and overused because so many people used it improperly by sticking it into lists that already had three items? Also, I don’t think “jumped the shark” ever really jumped the shark. I still think it’s a right handy way of describing long-running things that have lost their crunchy goodness. I don’t really use it anymore, though. And I use my 1920’s style “death ray” but sparingly. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/40 "2004-08-30T22:03:56Z")
> [@The Asbestos Mango](#): > > My thoughts on the subject are as follows > > 1. I really didn’t find “Hi, Opal!” tiresome, even though I’ve personally only used it once. > > 2. The only time I’ve actually run into “Hack her to death with a kitchen knife” was in a thread about how to impress a girl on a first date, and it took me a while to realize that it was being presented as the new #3. I didn’t find it funny at all. > > 3. Bring on the tentacled monsters!!! Well, I’m here, what do you want? Oh, I propose the following #3 replacement: 1. Flat tax 2. I don’t pee in the shower, but I _do_ pee in the toilet while _in_ the shower 3. Put it in [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256.md?page=3)