# Hack her to death with a kitchen knife. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 30, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256 "2004-08-30T16:42:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/41 "2004-08-30T22:10:26Z")
Well, _I_ think 'hack her to death with a kitchen knife" is a hilarious third list item. The thread in which it was introduced inspired me to name **tdn** as one of my two favorite posters, and it still makes me laugh every time I see it. Course, I’m a big fan of referential humor, especially when I get the joke. In any event, anyone who still uses “Hi Opal!” as a third list item should be hacked to death with a kitchen knife. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/42 "2004-08-30T22:55:41Z")
> [@Tentacle Monster](#): > > Well, I’m here, what do you want? I was just wondering if you’d like to sit on the back porch and hoist a few and discuss the artistic merits of _hentai_ in both _anime_ and _manga_. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/43 "2004-08-30T23:30:33Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Well, _I_ think 'hack her to death with a kitchen knife" is a hilarious third list item. The thread in which it was introduced inspired me to name **tdn** as one of my two favorite posters, and it still makes me laugh every time I see it. Course, I’m a big fan of referential humor, especially when I get the joke. > > In any event, anyone who still uses “Hi Opal!” as a third list item should be hacked to death with a kitchen knife. Holy shit. I’ve been snorting Diet Code Red out of my nose for ten minutes. I fucking LOVE this line - I hadn’t seen it on the Dope until this thread (although I did see it on SNL), but damn, it’s funny. Of course, now, all I can think is “Oh! She appears to have been accidentally shot by Claudine Longet!”. Ava ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/44 "2004-08-30T23:30:45Z")
Damn, I’m gonna have to quit trying to have any fun on the boards anymore. I was simply attempting to determine when it might sometimes be better to hack…or not to hack. I know that wasn’t the question, sorry. ☹ From now on whenever I have a list that needs a third item. I’ll just add: #3. tequila shots anyone? damned evil clowns ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/45 "2004-08-30T23:44:49Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > Not funny and, as someone who had a friend (well, a boyfriend’s sister) murdered by being “hacked to death with a kitchen knife” insensitive and rather hurtful. > > I won’t make a federal case out of it or anything - other people obviously have a different sense of humor than I do. But its the most tasteless in joke I’ve ever seen the SDMB come up with - what’s next, dead baby jokes? Matthew Sheppard humor? Really, we can do better. If you think that’s the most tasteless in joke on the SDMB thus far, you haven’t been looking very hard. We _can_ do better. Okay, to start off the gruesome new ‘In Joke Olympics’… _Well, it’s not a bucket of dead kittens, but I wouldn’t sneeze at it!_ ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/46 "2004-08-30T23:52:38Z")
> [@The Asbestos Mango](#): > > I was just wondering if you’d like to sit on the back porch and hoist a few and discuss the artistic merits of _hentai_ in both _anime_ and _manga_. How about the presence of asbestos in manga? ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/47 "2004-08-30T23:59:04Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > If you think that’s the most tasteless in joke on the SDMB thus far, you haven’t been looking very hard. > > We _can_ do better. > > Okay, to start off the gruesome new ‘In Joke Olympics’… > > _Well, it’s not a bucket of dead kittens, but I wouldn’t sneeze at it!_ See **Mockingbird** you made a funny and I’ll bet you didn’t know that used to, the old timers would take a litter of kittens and tie 'em up in a burlap sack with a few bricks and pitch em the lake to get rid of them. Every now and then you’d hear the line…“Now that’s funnier than a sack of cats.” or “Who let the cat out of the bag?” How’s that? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/48 "2004-08-31T00:01:18Z")
> [@The Asbestos Mango](#): > > I was just wondering if you’d like to sit on the back porch and hoist a few and discuss the artistic merits of hentai in both anime and manga. Anytime. Hell, I haven’t even sat on a back porch and hoisted a few in a long time. And the last time I did, it was with my mother and her friends. I don’t want to explain to her what hentai _is_, much less the artistic merits. Some things, your mother just doesn’t need to know. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/49 "2004-08-31T00:01:31Z")
> [@t-keela](#): > > See **Mockingbird** you made a funny and I’ll bet you didn’t know that used to, the old timers would take a litter of kittens and tie 'em up in a burlap sack with a few bricks and pitch em the lake to get rid of them. > Every now and then you’d hear the line…“Now that’s funnier than a sack of cats.” > or “Who let the cat out of the bag?” > > How’s that? 😃 Actually, I did know about that. Would that it was history and people still didn’t treat animals like garbage. Still, _It’s not as sad as an exploding clown at a 5 year old’s birthday party!_ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/50 "2004-08-31T00:06:01Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > _Well, it’s not a bucket of dead kittens, but I wouldn’t sneeze at it!_ “Nothing says Memorial Day like a drowned puppy.” ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/51 "2004-08-31T00:07:44Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > “Nothing says Memorial Day like a drowned puppy.” _Why, you talk sweeter than my last three victims._ ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/52 "2004-08-31T01:29:06Z")
> [@ggurl](#): > > Can there be a more disturbing and obtuse #3?? 1. Market them as dung-flavored breath mints 2. A flaming ball of gas 3. The aroma of wet tissues 4. Battery-operated throat warmer 5. Knuckletrout 6. Race a speeding marmot. 7. Kneaded pork salad 8. Crushed by a shrieking Volvo 9. A soft, fleshy protuberance 10. Rubber Macfishes underwear 11. Random non-sequitur ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/53 "2004-08-31T02:51:59Z")
Lol! ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/54 "2004-08-31T05:33:33Z")
1. Lol! ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/55 "2004-08-31T06:32:07Z")
1. Spank me hard and call me _Mommy_. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/56 "2004-08-31T06:56:41Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > 1. Spank me hard and call me _Mommy_. Sweet Gravy, I thought I was the only one that had that fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/57 "2004-08-31T07:00:38Z")
> [@furt](#): > > Sweet Gravy, I thought I was the only one that had that fantasy. I’m just a man who has his finger on the pulse of the world. Where my finger is and how I get the pulse is _my_ business. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/58 "2004-08-31T07:18:02Z")
I’m getting my memes confused…I have the “He tried to kill him with a forklift” song running through my head now. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/59 "2004-08-31T07:26:01Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I’m getting my memes confused…I have the “He tried to kill him with a forklift” song running through my head now. Is that by Nancy Sinatra? ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2004, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256/60 "2004-08-31T07:31:20Z")
I hear ya Ggurl 😉 (Fucking coincidence of gravity and meaning–Synchronicity.) It is quite disturbing. 3) Pussycow [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hack-her-to-death-with-a-kitchen-knife/262256.md?page=4)