# Hacking the Modern Woman **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 31, 2015, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667 "2015-07-31T19:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/21 "2015-07-31T21:49:07Z")
> [@Arrogant\_B\_st\_rd](#): > > We all took a stroll down town and the city park. We ended the night at Whole Foods. Well, technically the ER, I was hit by _a shopping cart full of_ **meat!** I actually kind of got hurt. Dear Penthouse, I never thought I’d be writing this. . . ---
**Author:** ![CinnamonBabka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@CinnamonBabka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CinnamonBabka)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/22 "2015-07-31T21:51:09Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > So how do we hack a man to not cheat, stick around, help raise the children, and help with the housework? You can find out in this month’s issue of Nintendo Power. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/23 "2015-07-31T21:52:42Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > You’ve just unlocked unlimited orgasm. Congratulations. Wait…for me or her? ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/24 "2015-07-31T21:54:03Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > I actually have a serial number printed just inside my vagina. Pics or it didn’t happen. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/25 "2015-07-31T21:56:03Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#): > > Pics or it didn’t happen. My camera’s flash isn’t that effective. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/26 "2015-07-31T22:07:09Z")
The gimmick is wearing increasingly thin. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/27 "2015-07-31T22:22:22Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > My camera’s flash isn’t that effective. He’s asking for naked pics of you. Clearly, it’s not the _camera_’s flash he’s interested in. ---
**Author:** ![CinnamonBabka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@CinnamonBabka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CinnamonBabka)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/28 "2015-07-31T22:26:05Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > The gimmick is wearing increasingly thin. If I’m not mistaken you can tell us how you _really_ feel in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=763852). EDIT: And then I remembered you’re posting there already. ---
**Author:** ![PoppaSan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/poppasan/32/189_2.png) [@PoppaSan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoppaSan)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/29 "2015-07-31T23:01:48Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > So how do we hack a man to not cheat, stick around, help raise the children, and help with the housework? Think of the nicest, shyest single guy you know, the one you’d never consider dating yourself. He’s probably your best bet to solve your dilemma. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/30 "2015-07-31T23:19:10Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > I actually have a serial number printed just inside my vagina. If you plug the number into a data base, you can find a key code which permits me to play all region DVDs. I read this too fast. At first, I thought you could play DVDs with your vagina. > [@](#): > > So how do we hack a man to not cheat, stick around, help raise the children, and help with the housework? I also cook, write love sonnets, and go down, but I’m married. 🆒 Oh, what PoppaSan said. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/31 "2015-08-01T01:35:52Z")
Every day I am more and more surprised by the sheer idiocy I find. I suppose I should just expect it now - I must be incredibly thick headed to have believed I’d find something else. Jesus wept. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/32 "2015-08-01T01:42:31Z")
No vagina pulses for you, I take it. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/33 "2015-08-01T03:09:11Z")
[This is probably the most important stuff to know if you’re in a long-term relationship.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihRHIGpyspA) ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/34 "2015-08-01T04:41:51Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > So how do we hack a man to not cheat, stick around, help raise the children, and help with the housework? Date enough of them, and eventually one will fit the bill. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/35 "2015-08-01T10:16:42Z")
You left out the liberal use of Axe bodyspray. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/36 "2015-08-01T12:28:28Z")
My older daughter won her fiancé through a poker game. My younger daughter met her current boyfriend at a con where they both cosplayed characters from the same web comic. Neither of these guys are assholes. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/37 "2015-08-01T12:38:21Z")
> [@Arrogant B\*st\*rd](#): > > This thread is a torch to guide young men in dating in the 21st century. _\_ ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/38 "2015-08-01T13:05:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Be hung like a human, not hung like a horse. Honey… can you bring me the cleaver please. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/39 "2015-08-01T15:22:54Z")
I’ve been looking all over for a guy who likes being hit with frozen meat. I think I’m in love!:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/40 "2015-08-01T15:51:19Z")
The thing I don’t like about this is the advice on how to get a woman attached to you. I try to avoid this until I decide wether or not I want to be attached. The older and more mature I get the more respect I have for other peoples feelings. The feeling of conquest that comes from giving a woman some good orgasms and causing her to fall in love with me is not something I strive for anymore. If I am exploring a relationship I want things to be upbeat and pleaseant and something we both want more of, but I try to avoid mind blowing until I have some pretty serious feelings. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667.md?page=3)