# Hacking the Modern Woman **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 31, 2015, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667 "2015-07-31T19:28:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/61 "2015-08-03T15:43:07Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > Are these poker games open to the public? I’m ready to date again, I’d like to win a guy that way. 😃 I won my wife through a pool game. A good friend and I met her at the same time and both wanted to ask her out. We decided on whoever won our pool game would get the honors. Thirty years and three kids later we are still together… and my wife still wishes Chris was a better pool player 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/62 "2015-08-03T15:46:34Z")
> [@bump](#): > > [This is probably the most important stuff to know if you’re in a long-term relationship.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihRHIGpyspA) This was funnier than expected, though it suffers from the same premise as the OP: that all wimmens are the same, carbon copy people, that act exactly the same. Also the OP made my vagina slam shut. So thanks for that. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/63 "2015-08-03T15:46:42Z")
I’m surprised google doesn’t find this on any other site, 'cos I expected it to be just a pile of copypasta. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/64 "2015-08-03T16:28:45Z")
So I guess everyone’s forgotten about clubs and ball gags? ---
**Author:** ![Arrogant\_B\_st\_rd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cdc98d/32.png) [@Arrogant\_B\_st\_rd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrogant_B_st_rd)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/65 "2015-08-03T16:39:18Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > That’s pretty interesting. Can you produce an alternate version that works with politically conservative women attracted to muscular men wearing a suit, are introvert and inquisitive and dog people fond of Mozart? I am working on that. I actually came from a conservative background. I grew up Christian in a conservative family in rural PacNW and then Midwest surburbia. I cannot get a conservative woman interested in me for whatever reasons. They’re less fun and creative, but they tend to be less sexual. Let me let you in for a little secret, sometimes my dick doesn’t work. It’s probably because of the psych meds I’m on, but yeah I have trouble being a sexual person 24/7 like most guys. Also, more conservative women are less bothered by me playing poker. Unless they’re very religious. They will be friends with me, but they won’t date me. > [@LSLGuy](#): > > That’s pretty good writing. Better than I expected. Mind, I’m not vouching for the quality of the advice, just how it’s portrayed. Why thank you. I will be trying out for “Ask Men”. > [@Small\_Hen](#): > > I actually have a serial number printed just inside my vagina. If you plug the number into a data base, you can find a key code which permits me to play all region DVDs. > > So how do we hack a man to not cheat, stick around, help raise the children, and help with the housework? Go to libraries, baseball games, and nice bars to pick up men. Stay away from men at craps tables at the casinos. > [@Smeghead](#): > > The gimmick is wearing increasingly thin. What gimmick? I’m real bro, are you? > [@Missy2U](#): > > Every day I am more and more surprised by the sheer idiocy I find. I suppose I should just expect it now - I must be incredibly thick headed to have believed I’d find something else. Jesus wept. Hey, my OP is based off of science and informal interviews of smart women that I know. Read any psychology or sociology book and you’ll see similar stuff. Also, search “women” on Science Daily, there you’ll find lots of good research. [Go straight to the epicenter of intelligence.](http://thoughtcatalog.com/ryan-holiday/2015/07/go-straight-to-the-seat-of-intelligence-your-own-the-worlds-your-neighbors/) > [@Stringbean](#): > > How one longs for the olden days when you could just be yourself and not have a checklist of no-no’s… Me too, me too. But being yourself these days will leave you lonely, unless you’re super hot or super rich. > [@Tangent](#): > > Yeah, he’s got the “bro” voice down pretty well, though perhaps it’s a bit too on-the-nose to be believable. Yep. A [nouveau bro](http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/nouveau-bros#.qtPQaXVxD)I am, not a frat boy. > [@Lakai](#): > > Maybe well written, but pretty shallow advice. Shallow because it’s aimed at all woman (or “modern women” as opposed to the ancient ladies everyone’s been trying to hook up with.) Any advice aimed at appealing to a broad range people will be inherently shallow, because you do not focus on any particular individual. > > Ever notice how most politicians have vapid and wooden personalities? That’s because they are trying to appeal to as many people as possible. They do not talk about any controversial or interesting ideas, because if they do, if they take a stand on something, they’ll alienate someone who doesn’t hold their position. > > The problem with using this approach with women is that you’ll attract equally vapid and shallow women using it. The good news is that you do not need to use this approach because you do not need to appeal to as many women as possible. You can get through life by just appealing to a few of them. > > My advice is not to follow the advice in the OP. Figure out a set of principles and values and live your life as a well developed person. Aren’t most young women (and men) shallow? 😛 But really, this advice is geared to a specific type of woman and women in general. When I say “modern woman”, I’m referring to a woman who is relatively highly educated, liberal, city-bound, usually (but not always) white, young, American, and a tad crazy. This type of woman is commonly sought after. Don’t tell me, that my above advice isn’t what makes this type of woman tick. And, my advice is for women in general. Yes, each woman is different, but there are some fundamental things that most women find attractive. > [@F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](#): > > I really hate the premise of this thread-- that women are some semi-inexplicable other that can be manipulated to serve one’s ends with the right set of predefined strategies. In fact, I’m pretty insulted. > > We’re just people. Seriously. And, I really hate the premise of your post that men can read minds. We’re just people. Seriously. We’re not some clairvoyant gods. > [@Anaamika](#): > > This was funnier than expected, though it suffers from the same premise as the OP: that all wimmens are the same, carbon copy people, that act exactly the same. > > Also the OP made my vagina slam shut. So thanks for that. See my above replies. > [@jz78817](#): > > I’m surprised google doesn’t find this on any other site, 'cos I expected it to be just a pile of copypasta. Again, I’m real. What makes you think otherwise? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/66 "2015-08-03T17:05:08Z")
Who is the OP trying to convince and why is he trying so hard? > [@Arrogant B\*st\*rd](#): > > Let me let you in for a little secret, sometimes my dick doesn’t work. It’s probably because of the psych meds I’m on… Oh. Nevermind. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/67 "2015-08-03T17:20:33Z")
> [@Arrogant\_B\_st\_rd](#): > > Again, I’m real. What makes you think otherwise? ☹ An enormous amount of optimism and a stead-fast dedication to giving you the benefit of the doubt? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/68 "2015-08-03T17:20:43Z")
“Hacking the modern woman”? Only if she’s got a open shot, it’s late in the game and she’s lousy from the line. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2015, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/69 "2015-08-04T21:35:48Z")
> [@Arrogant\_B\_st\_rd](#): > > Be hung like a human, not hung like a horse. Unless your dick looks like a bicycle kickstand, don’t feel insecure about not having a HUGE weener. Those of us diagnosed with macropenis have perfectly normal sex lives and do not need your disparagement. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/70 "2015-08-05T14:47:20Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#): > > What color business card is best? I was thinking subtle off-white coloring with a tasteful amount of thickness. > > Please reply soon. See also: how I describe my junk ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/71 "2015-08-05T15:30:41Z")
I never understood most of these kinds of advice columns or threads or videos. They tend to be either so broad as to be useless, or targeted at a particularly type of woman that the reader may or may not actually be particularly interested in or a good match for. I can even go as far as to say that, in this case, there’s actively bad advice for attracting the type of woman that I’d be interested in. Now, sure, there’s some generic advice to dating that applies to pretty much everyone like, for instance, learn some basic conversation skills and treat the other person like a person and not a piece of meat, but beyond that, most dating advice is just too unspecific. Instead, all I really say is, strive to be the best version of you, whoever that is. If you actually are a guy who likes to work out and wear fashionable clothes, great, do that and you’ll attract a woman that’s into that. If you’re an intellectual who likes to read books and watch nerdy shows, great, be that, and you’ll attract a woman that’s interested in that. Really, if you’re a nerdy type, why the hell would you even want to date a woman that would be attracted to the first type of guy? You’re going to have to put up a facade and constantly be stuck either trying to impress her or change her opinions into being more into the stuff you’re into. That cycle just sucks. And that doesn’t mean that if you’re athletic that it’s okay to be a moron, or if you’re intellectual, that you can be a fat slob. It just means focus on your strengths and passions, and work on your weaknesses. Even if you’re not looking to date anyone, people should be doing that anyway. In my experience, all the times I’ve been unhappy in relationships, or been uninterested with a woman when I met her, or she was unhappy or uninterested, was precisely because either we just plain didn’t match up in our interests and/or we had differing levels of dedication to becoming the best versions of ourselves. And that’s not just true of romantic relationships, but friendships and even business relationships too. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/72 "2015-08-05T19:05:15Z")
Who would want a chicken who has been free-range feeding through the streets of Detroit?? (Ok, I know, that’s not what I’m supposed to be getting out of this post, but seriously, who?) ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/73 "2015-08-05T21:06:25Z")
> [@F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](#): > > I really hate the premise of this thread-- that women are some semi-inexplicable other that can be manipulated to serve one’s ends with the right set of predefined strategies. In fact, I’m pretty insulted. > > We’re just people. Seriously. HAHAHAHAHA!! It thinks it’s people!😃 No, see these sorts aren’t interested in meeting “people”. They are interested in women as a sex commodity. While you or I might look at some douche and say “That D-bag can only get a girl that hot by paying for it.” He’s thinking “Yeah. How awesome is it that I can afford to buy a supermodel for my arm!” People interested in meeting other people to create elaborate personas. They just go around being more or less themselves and find people who like who that is. Don’t get me wrong. I think there is certain value for people who are perhaps shy or awkward around women to try a more structured approach. But I don’t believe you can trick women into sleeping with you using some sort of Jedi mind shit. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/74 "2015-08-05T23:18:29Z")
I think we have plenty of evidence in the world at large that there are many different cultures out there. And some people are really, \*really \*monocultural. Others are more multi-cultural, or at least are aware of the idea of acting like there’s more than once culture even if they sure think theirs is bestest of all. Evidence also shows us there is a cultural gap between men & women in the US. We have so many threads here about relationships, divorcves, kids, etc. (not PUA), and two teams form up pretty predictably. So our OP is pretty clearly a guy who’s a member of the “Women are an alien culture; act like X, Y, and Z to fit in with their alien-ness”. He’s probably accurately reporting how it looks from his POV, sad & blinkered though it is. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2015, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667/75 "2015-08-06T14:38:19Z")
You could also try being yourself and finding someone that likes those qualities. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hacking-the-modern-woman/726667.md?page=3)