# HAHA! Paris Hilton **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 7, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877 "2003-11-07T13:24:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Evil\_Death](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecccb3/32.png) [@Evil\_Death](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Death)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/61 "2003-11-11T15:44:29Z")
Here’s an even more hilarious comment on the whole shebang -Paris Hilton’s mother is former porn starlet Bambi Allen. She’s a fine one to talk about how low people will stoop to make money, having stooped, knelt and laid back plenty in her time to make a few bob. (I also found out that Hilton is the niece of the little girl Jamie Lee Curtis was babysitting in Hallowe’en, who is herself now the dialysis nurse on ER. Small world, innit?) ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/62 "2003-11-11T19:28:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Evil Death \* > \*\*Here’s an even more hilarious comment on the whole shebang -Paris Hilton’s mother is former porn starlet Bambi Allen. She’s a fine one to talk about how low people will stoop to make money, having stooped, knelt and laid back plenty in her time to make a few bob. \*\* If you got that information off of IMDB, remember that it is not always reliable. I’m pretty sure that Kathy Richards Hilton is not Bambi Allen, even though IMDB lists Kathy’s real-life sisters as those of Bambi. Kathy gives her year of birth as 1959. Since she was a child actress, that’s probably correct, but even if she’s lying about her age, I don’t think she could have played Buffy’s friend in **Family Affair** (it was a sitcom, not a porno) in 1966 and then acted in **The Harem Bunch** in 1968 and **Sexcapade in Mexico** in 1970, as IMDB claims that she did. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/63 "2003-11-11T23:11:48Z")
Apologies in advance. I was going to post this joke two day ago but decided it was too sick. But if I’m being pitted anyway, what the hell. > [@](#): > > It is like a scrotum exactly how? They’re both full of semen. ---
**Author:** ![pezwookiee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@pezwookiee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezwookiee)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/64 "2003-11-12T00:01:27Z")
Um… not that I’m admitting to actually seeing the video… _ahem_ But if one is wondering if they’re watching the real video, one would know because: a) It’s filmed with some weird sort of night vision camera. b) Halfway through sex, Paris’ phone rings and she stops to go get it. Her partner seems a little frustrated with this and continues to touch himself. What did he expect? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/65 "2003-11-12T00:04:56Z")
Nice one Nemo! ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/66 "2003-11-12T00:51:09Z")
**pezwookie** , let’s not forget about c) The end of the video shows her in extreme close-up merrily sucking Rick Solomon’s dick. So much for the whole “she was forced into it” debate. (There’s a current Pit thread where I refute the NY Post “story” in more detail). ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/67 "2003-11-12T01:30:51Z")
Where did you guys all see this? ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/68 "2003-11-12T02:02:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Where did you guys all see this? I’m quite certain SDMB rules prohibit me from divulging something like that. Nor would I want to include a popup-addled link to same. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/69 "2003-11-12T02:19:07Z")
Paris Hilton’s [career](http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,7845122%255E13780,00.html) and like Chopper there’s a movie about her. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/70 "2003-11-13T02:58:18Z")
Ok, I usually don’t care about this kind of crap but for some reason I need to see this. Who’s gonna email it? ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/71 "2003-11-13T04:14:29Z")
It’s too big for mail. Try looking for it somewhere you’d expect to find movie files. And can somebody tell me what’s goingo on with the raccoon eyes? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/72 "2003-11-13T04:30:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chavardz \* > \*\*It’s too big for mail. Try looking for it somewhere you’d expect to find movie files. > \*\* I looked there for it all day yesterday with no luck. Found it shortly after posting today though. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/73 "2003-11-13T04:48:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chavardz \* > \*\*It’s too big for mail. Try looking for it somewhere you’d expect to find movie files. > > And can somebody tell me what’s goingo on with the raccoon eyes? \*\* I wondered the same thing. It’s a weird ass look with that racoon eye makeup she wears in reverse night video. She looks like an animal on the highway caught in the headlights. A few comments on the video. She has a very tight twenty something hardbody and her breasts are bigger than I expected on such a thin girl. Based on her manner in front of the camera she is endearingly childlike, but she is also a complete and total empty headed idiot. If it weren’t for daddy’s billions, she’d be blowing the local garage band for backstage passes to their next gig at the VFW hall. The Post article was marveling how big Solomon weenie was, but he’s not any bigger than a regular guy (not that I was comparing or anything). The video is suprprisingly _unsexy_ as Solomon manuvers her around like some idiot love doll puppet so the camera can “see how pretty she is” which absolutely delights her. She _really_ does like being a pretty little dolly. There’s a ton of fake “Paris Hilton” files on that K place (some are pretty darn funny). The one you want is “parissexmovie\_256k.wmv” and it’s around 4.8 megs or so. ---
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/74 "2003-11-13T15:42:31Z")
Damn it **Astro** - you are going to force me to reinstall that software so I can dig this up. Damn you! ---
**Author:** ![Obvious\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Obvious\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obvious_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/75 "2003-11-13T16:17:08Z")
Well, say what you will about Paris character but I always thought she was good looking. I have seen the tape, or at least part of it. It is filmed is some sort of night vision, so its kinda hard to make out. In true Paris fashion she seems to love the camera. At one point the guy says something like “turn around so everyone can see what I get to see”. A bit of foreshadowing I thought 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/76 "2003-11-13T16:31:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\* > Based on her manner in front of the camera she is endearingly childlike, but she is also a complete and total empty headed idiot. \*\* I think she’s bombed. And I agree about it being unsexy. The best part is when she’s giving him oral, and that’s only the last 10 seconds. Thanks for the heads up about the filename and size, that was the key to getting around all that other crap. ---
**Author:** ![Obvious\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Obvious\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obvious_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/77 "2003-11-13T16:36:15Z")
btw I doubt that is the full version, you can tell it has been edited. I dont think the full version has been released yet. ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/78 "2003-11-13T18:16:55Z")
I agree obvious guy. This is just a teaser. What I’m wondering is if this was the version journalists saw. ---
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/79 "2003-11-13T18:38:43Z")
ok, I went through the trouble of downloading K\*\*\* and found it, (thanks again to **Astro** for the file name. What is up with night vision camera work? Hello, turn the lights on! I was not that impressed, though I think she does have a better body than I thought, (maybe she has lost weight since the movie was made?) and I think he comes off as the big idiot. ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877/80 "2003-11-13T19:08:51Z")
What I’m wondering is what they had playing in the background. Sounded kinda weird… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haha-paris-hilton/211877.md?page=5)