# Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Ted Haggard **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 3, 2006, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932 "2006-11-03T03:27:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/1 "2006-11-03T03:27:46Z")
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/2 "2006-11-03T03:39:09Z")
**Onomatopoeia** , this truly is hilarious - so much so, in fact, that it would be a shame if we didn’t let our fellow Dopers in on the funny: > [@](#): > > COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — The leader of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals, a vocal opponent of same-sex marriage, resigned Thursday after being accused of paying for sex with a man in monthly trysts over the past three years. > [@](#): > > The Rev. Ted Haggard, a married father of five who has been called one of the most influential evangelical Christians in the nation, denied the allegations. His accuser refused to share voice mails that he said backed up his claim. Link-tastic: [Client Challenge](http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ap/nation/4307172.html) Boing Boing ([www.boingboing.com](http://www.boingboing.com)) notes that this is the same Pastor Ted who kicked Richard Dawkins out of his church in the documentary “Root of All Evil?”. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/3 "2006-11-03T05:29:05Z")
As amusing as it would be if this turned out to be true, at this point it is only an accusation. Let’s hope his accuser has some sort of fairly concrete proof. I doubt the Rev. Haggard’s followers will accept anything less. ::fingers crossed:: ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/4 "2006-11-03T05:43:10Z")
I don’t suppose there’s any chance those two had a three-way with Phreddy Phelps, is there? Y’know, I mean, as long as we’re crossing fingers here… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/5 "2006-11-03T06:50:06Z")
Well, he has resigned, which seems a pretty good admission of guilt to me. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/6 "2006-11-03T06:51:11Z")
Oh it is \*all \* coming together now. From the [Harper’s article](http://harpers.org/SoldiersOfChrist.html) on him in 2005: > [@](#): > > Pastor Ted soon began upsetting the devil’s plans. He staked out gay bars, inviting men to come to his church… Guf-faw. Sure, Ted. I don’t know how I could have missed that the first time I read it. Ted Haggard is like the number two religious asshole in the country. Second only two James Dobson. So this is just _so much fun_. [QUOTE=Kolak of Twilo] at this point it is only an accusation. [/QUOTE] Of course it’s true. He lips may say “no no no,” but his resignations say “yes yes yes.” ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/7 "2006-11-03T10:23:58Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] Well, he has resigned, which seems a pretty good admission of guilt to me. [/QUOTE] No, he has resigned. That is all. Something this big requires that the leader step aside if it has any impact on the organization he is running. I think it is responsible. As for if it is true, hopefully we will see and this guy will be shown to be a hippocrit. If not, then it is a shameful thing on the part of the accuser. -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/8 "2006-11-03T12:31:27Z")
My BIL is an evangelical, and I cannot tell you how much I shall enjoy just sitting there at Thanksgiving with a smug smile on my face about this whole matter. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/9 "2006-11-03T12:52:17Z")
I don’t mind some hypocrite getting their just desserts, but let’s not pop the champagne corks yet. Someone made an accusation, and I find it interesting he’s “refused to share voice mails that he said backed up his claim.” The accused has resigned, probably to handle this on his own without spreading any scandal to his church, but I find it interesting that someone who claims hasn’t done what he’s accused of would feel the need to do that. Let’s just sit back and wait. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/10 "2006-11-03T12:53:54Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] My BIL is an evangelical, and I cannot tell you how much I shall enjoy just sitting there at Thanksgiving with a smug smile on my face about this whole matter. [/QUOTE] **Shirley** , I think that diminishes you. Unless your BIL is also a hypocrite? ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/11 "2006-11-03T13:06:12Z")
According to the [Associated Press](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061103/ap_on_re_us/haggard_sex_allegations): The acting senior pastor at New Life, Ross Parsley, told KKTV-TV of Colorado Springs that Haggard admitted that some of the accusations were true. “I just know that there has been some admission of indiscretion, not admission to all of the material that has been discussed but there is an admission of some guilt,” Parsley told the station. Now THAT appears to be an admission of guilt. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/12 "2006-11-03T14:44:53Z")
\*\*Ivylass \*\* and \*\*Tomcat \*\* - do you \*really \* think it’s even \*remotely \* likely that he would resign from positions that powerful - simply because some random jerk decided to fabricate a completely false stories about him? If you swallow that, I have a bridge-related real estate investment plan I’d like you to consider. I’m all for giving the benefit of the doubt. But there’s a difference between that and not being able to call an obvious lie a lie. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/13 "2006-11-03T15:04:08Z")
I could have sworn _Good Morning America_ this morning had him admitting he’d had sex with male prostitutes. It sounded substantiated to me when I left for work earlier. **Miller** , if you guys really are recruiting, is there any chance you could catch more fish like this one? I’d be willing to donate a couple of toaster. Yes, that is mean-spirited of me, but I get tired of people who commit adultery, get divorced, etc. telling me that liberals and people who aren’t born-again Christians don’t support family values. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/14 "2006-11-03T15:08:05Z")
…Yes, but did he say “Amen” before or after he ‘took Communion’? ---
**Author:** ![Tabula\_Rasa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@Tabula\_Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabula_Rasa)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/15 "2006-11-03T15:31:37Z")
I’m assuming, at this point, that he has admitted to the drug use and has not yet admitted to any sex acts. The old “He wasn’t my rent-boy. He was only my dealer.” defense. The voicemails are undeniably Haggard, but they only seem to refer to the purchase of some kind of “stuff”. Tabby ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/16 "2006-11-03T15:36:01Z")
Smell that sizzle? Methinks the Haggard is done. [http://www.kktv.com/news/headlines/4557411.html](http://www.kktv.com/news/headlines/4557411.html) ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/17 "2006-11-03T15:49:33Z")
[QUOTE=Ted Haggard] " I did not have a homosexual relationship with a man in Denver." [/QUOTE] Sounds like a parse to me. Oh, man, this is just tooooooo good. I await, with eager anticipation, the inevitable second shoe slamming repeatedly into the pavement. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![St.Urho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@St.Urho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Urho)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/18 "2006-11-03T15:51:15Z")
[QUOTE=uglybeech] Ted Haggard is like the number two religious asshole in the country. Second only two James Dobson. [/QUOTE] What’s scary is that that makes him still the number two religious asshole in Colorado Springs :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/19 "2006-11-03T15:51:39Z")
[QUOTE=Tomcat] No, he has resigned. That is all. Something this big requires that the leader step aside if it has any impact on the organization he is running. I think it is responsible. [/QUOTE] :dubious: Hmm. So now all I have to do to get people I don’t like is to falsely accuse them of things. After all, regardless of whether it’s true, it’s their _responsibility_ to resign. :dubious: :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932/20 "2006-11-03T15:56:48Z")
[QUOTE=uglybeech] \*\*Ivylass \*\* and \*\*Tomcat \*\* - do you \*really \* think it’s even \*remotely \* likely that he would resign from positions that powerful - simply because some random jerk decided to fabricate a completely false stories about him? [/QUOTE] I posted what I said at 7:52am, Eastern. I said that I found it interesting both that 1) The accuser was not releasing the voice mails and 2)Despite claiming no wrongdoing, Haggerd resigned. All I was doing was advocating restraint. Now that more is coming out, we are getting a fuller picture. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hahahahahahahahaha-ted-haggard/378932.md?page=2)