# Haiku Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 22, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955 "2010-02-22T07:27:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/201 "2010-02-26T02:43:29Z")
Rolls Royce aftershave? But I prefer Sex Panther. It stings the nostrils. ---
**Author:** ![LateComer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5ac83/32.png) [@LateComer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LateComer)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/202 "2010-02-26T02:56:04Z")
It stings the nostrils ginger beer is not that great drink Vernor’s instead ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/203 "2010-02-26T05:22:15Z")
“Drink Vernor’s instead,” the celebrity told me. “Fuck that shit!” I said. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/204 "2010-02-26T10:40:45Z")
“Fuck that shit!” I said I was angry at my stool Constipation sucks ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/205 "2010-02-26T14:00:51Z")
Constipation sucks A bottleneck of butt pain Better eat your prunes ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/206 "2010-02-26T14:17:53Z")
Better eat your prunes Eating healthy is a drag I’d rather have cake ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/207 "2010-02-26T14:33:27Z")
I’d rather have cake But I’m allergic to wheat Cake or death? ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/208 "2010-02-26T14:42:22Z")
Cake or death? But death takes a holiday. And so cake it is. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/209 "2010-02-26T14:46:27Z")
So cake it is with a flourish I revealed blueberry cheesecake (mmmmm 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/210 "2010-02-26T14:51:46Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Cake or death? Haiku Police Note: Three syllables?? ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/211 "2010-02-26T14:53:14Z")
> [@otternell](#): > > So cake it is Haiku Police note: Four syllables. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/212 "2010-02-26T14:55:06Z")
blueberry cheesecake is much more desired than a kick in the ass ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/213 "2010-02-26T14:57:26Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Haiku Police Note: Three syllables?? Hey - I’m pre-coffee, give me a break. In my head, it was 5 syllables. C-cake or D-death. (cerebral stuttering for epic fail) ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/214 "2010-02-26T15:00:23Z")
A kick in the ass Neglecting 5 7 5 Get with the program! (heh - I didn’t even notice!) ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/215 "2010-02-26T15:12:16Z")
Get with the program! If you think you can play, great! Make sure you’re awake! ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/216 "2010-02-26T15:35:27Z")
Make sure you’re awake! Your sloth is unbecoming except for vampires ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/217 "2010-02-26T15:45:51Z")
Except for vampires There are few that scare me more Than real fast zombies ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/218 "2010-02-26T15:53:26Z")
Than real fast zombies What could amuse you better flesh eating virus ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/219 "2010-02-26T16:03:58Z")
flesh eating virus Umbrella Corporation’s New weight loss product! ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/220 "2010-02-26T16:13:44Z")
New weight loss product OBEY: taking the two pills I’d rather eat pie (I think I need to get something for breakfast) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=12)