# Haiku Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 22, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955 "2010-02-22T07:27:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 188
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3742 "2011-04-17T18:24:49Z")
You make awesome love. You have all the moves, except; How come no blowjobs? ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3743 "2011-04-17T19:06:00Z")
“How come no blowjobs?” He asked, crestfallen. She said, “Nasty bite reflex.” ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_of_Lucan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3744 "2011-04-17T20:03:59Z")
Nasty bite reflex - When bitten by a vampire, It makes my blood boil. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3745 "2011-04-17T20:19:26Z")
“It makes my blood boil!” Said the helmetless spaceman; “Open the pod bay!” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2011, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3746 "2011-04-17T22:32:35Z")
“Open the pod bay!” “I’m sorry, Dave…wait a sec… Line! Goddamnit, line!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_of_Lucan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2011, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3747 "2011-04-18T12:01:01Z")
“Line?” “Goddamnit line,” I said. “Part of the service Here at Phone-A-Curse.” ---
**Author:** ![CCYMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/87869e/32.png) [@CCYMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCYMan)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3748 "2011-04-18T16:43:50Z")
Here at Phone-A-Curse, All our reps are trained Wiccans. Ask about charms too! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3749 "2011-04-18T19:43:49Z")
Ask about charms too! Music’s soothe the savage breast, [And bend knotted oaks.](http://www.bartleby.com/100/212.1.html) ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2011, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3750 "2011-04-18T22:41:57Z")
And bend knotted oaks With my mighty Oak Bender Also works on pine ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_of_Lucan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2011, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3751 "2011-04-19T16:26:29Z")
Also works on pine, But the pine floor gives my wife Splinters in her ass… ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3752 "2011-04-19T17:12:07Z")
Splinters in her ass And there’s wood glue in her mouth Carpenter pervert ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3753 "2011-04-19T19:45:53Z")
“Carpenter pervert” Muttered Nazereth’s town whore. Leaving Joseph’s house. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_of_Lucan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3754 "2011-04-19T21:48:58Z")
Leaving Joseph’s house, He laughed. “That old angel trick Always cons virgins.” ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2011, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3755 "2011-04-20T20:40:17Z")
Always cons virgins Ex-con Cons Virgins in Cannes Ripped from the headlines (dun dun!) ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_of_Lucan)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3756 "2011-04-21T11:53:01Z")
Ripped from the headlines, The note said, “SeNd cAsh, or eLse We’LL retURn yOuR WIfe.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3757 "2011-04-21T13:17:28Z")
We’LL retURn yOuR WIfe." As sooN as you give US a gOod TypeWriter ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3758 "2011-04-21T14:14:21Z")
gOod TypeWriter CaN om3time be hard tO fInd Mine doen’t have “S” ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3759 "2011-04-22T02:15:53Z")
Mine doen’t have “S” And yet I somehow typed it! Quite a paradox… ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3760 "2011-04-22T10:45:00Z")
Quite a paradox… Severinsen and Holliday Did either save lives? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/3761 "2011-04-22T13:29:06Z")
Did either save lifes? No, but neither took a life. It’s 50/50. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=187) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=189)