# Haiku Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 22, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955 "2010-02-22T07:27:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 212
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2011, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4222 "2011-08-26T09:50:20Z")
He mistreated dogs He slathered ketchup freely And held the mustard ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2011, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4223 "2011-08-26T11:06:30Z")
And held the mustard in his guts where it had turned to unfathomable squit ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4224 "2011-08-27T01:45:15Z")
To **Unfathomable Squit:** When choosing a Doper name, Count the syllables! ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4225 "2011-08-27T10:56:33Z")
Count the syllables sometimes people are confused numbers can be hard ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4226 "2011-08-27T15:27:35Z")
numbers can be hard And when they are really hard numbers make me numb ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4227 "2011-08-27T18:13:38Z")
Numbers made me numb, no money makes me a bum, whiskey makes me dumb. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4228 "2011-08-28T01:02:34Z")
whiskey makes me dumb heroin makes me dumber spankings make me smart ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4229 "2011-08-28T01:13:13Z")
Spankings make me smart, So for the sake of my brain, Whip it! Whip it good! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4230 "2011-08-28T01:51:40Z")
Whip it! Whip it good! When a problem comes along Try to detect it ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4231 "2011-08-28T02:23:09Z")
Try to detect it It’s hiding in plain sight – it’s The Purloined Letter ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4232 "2011-08-28T11:53:31Z")
The purloined letter is, I believe, W said Oodrow Ilson ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2011, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4233 "2011-08-28T16:11:40Z")
Said Oodro(w) Ilson “That letter is not purloined - just segregated.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4234 "2011-08-29T15:11:59Z")
Just segregated Woodrow Wilson would be proud what a racist jerk ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4235 "2011-08-29T16:36:54Z")
What a racist jerk! He likes the Oreo cream, But hates the cookies! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4236 "2011-08-29T16:47:57Z")
But hates the cookies! Always deleting them from internet options. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4237 "2011-08-29T17:54:27Z")
Internet options Watch porn, buy crap, or read jokes I guess I’ll watch porn ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4238 "2011-08-29T22:01:32Z")
I guess I’ll watch porn – Wow, these lesbians are hot! Oops, here comes my boss… ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4239 "2011-08-29T22:16:56Z")
Oops, here comes my boss… “Shakin’ here Boss, still shakin’…” I’m a real cool hand. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4240 "2011-08-30T00:58:20Z")
I’m a real cool hand failure to communicate is not what we’ve got ---
**Author:** ![chowching](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@chowching](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowching)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2011, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4241 "2011-08-30T13:12:12Z")
It’s not what we’ve got Therefore it’s what we don’t have. False dichotomy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=211) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=213)