# Haiku Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 22, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955 "2010-02-22T07:27:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 221
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4403 "2011-10-05T18:09:53Z")
At Lady GaGa’s Chairs look like embryos and glitter’s everywhere ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4404 "2011-10-05T20:18:26Z")
Glitter’s everywhere, but glitter turns bitter in these stolen moments. ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4405 "2011-10-06T03:47:27Z")
These stolen moments A pickpocketer’s daydream Five finger discount ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4406 "2011-10-06T11:29:09Z")
Five finger discount Unless you like firecrackers; Just call me “Stumpy”. ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4407 "2011-10-06T12:38:56Z")
Just call me “Stumpy.” I used to juggle chainsaws not anymore though!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4408 "2011-10-06T18:19:00Z")
Not anymore though! That’s what she said when I said we ought to make love. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4409 "2011-10-06T20:11:19Z")
We aught to make love I said to my gorgeous wife Then I fell asleep. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4410 "2011-10-06T20:14:43Z")
Then I fell asleep And woke up in a bathtub With one kidney gone ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4411 "2011-10-06T20:41:40Z")
With one kidney gone Organ donor transplanting works quickly nowdays ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4412 "2011-10-07T02:32:06Z")
Works quickly nowdays, that booze does. A sixpack and I’m out like a light. ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4413 "2011-10-07T10:47:25Z")
I’m out like a light. When I was thinner I was off like a prom dress. ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4414 "2011-10-07T13:08:28Z")
Off like a prom dress You make like a tree and leave vamoose to splittsville ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4415 "2011-10-07T13:24:02Z")
vamoose to splittsville And let the door hit you where The Good Lord split you. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4416 "2011-10-07T14:45:02Z")
“The Good Lord split you,” Stated [Chang & Eng’s](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/30/ChangandEng.jpg/220px-ChangandEng.jpg) mother, “Wait, no He didn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4417 "2011-10-07T19:57:22Z")
“Wait, no he didn’t. The garbageman skipped this house. Two weeks in a row.” A true story – I’m guessing he either has an illicit sex partner or a drug connection along the route, and “forgets” our residence as a result. Oh well, it’s “too late to send him back out now”, as Brenda so helpfully informed me. ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4418 "2011-10-07T21:05:43Z")
Two weeks in a row Sternvogel garbage did grow so ripe and fragrant ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4419 "2011-10-09T17:15:31Z")
so ripe and fragrant I ate the cantaloupe and got listeria. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4420 "2011-10-09T17:56:56Z")
“Got listeria?” Good question for health, but a Lousy ad campaign ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4421 "2011-10-10T19:02:42Z")
Lousy ad campaign To get laid, give her Quervo At least their honest ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4422 "2011-10-11T14:40:00Z")
At least their honest Views are legal in this country Even if God hates it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=220) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=222)