# Haiku Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 22, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955 "2010-02-22T07:27:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 230
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2011, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4583 "2011-12-05T01:21:43Z")
I’ve screwed a mutant! There was one advantage, though - Got twice as much head ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4584 "2011-12-06T18:24:43Z")
Got twice as much head by hiring two hookers, but now I’m twice as broke. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4585 "2011-12-06T21:43:48Z")
Now I’m twice as broke After buying refried beans And Doublemint Gum ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4586 "2011-12-07T01:49:40Z")
And Doublemint Gum Just doesn’t have the Right Stuff; Got any Beemans? ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4587 "2011-12-07T03:21:08Z")
Got any Beemans? How about Clove or Black Jack? Chew some nostalgia! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4588 "2011-12-07T04:41:59Z")
Chew some nostalgia? No. I’m not in the habit of chewing perfume. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4589 "2011-12-07T14:18:37Z")
of chewing perfume, no thanks, unless you have some Bacon Number 5 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2011, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4590 "2011-12-07T16:56:28Z")
Bacon Number 5 Over easy, whiskey toast Draw one through Georgia. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4591 "2011-12-08T13:13:45Z")
Draw one through Georgia, And a draught in 'bama, too It’s a beer road trip! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4592 "2011-12-08T14:22:08Z")
It’s a beer road trip! But the bottles keep falling… Eighty-one…eighty. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4593 "2011-12-08T18:13:22Z")
Eighty-one…eighty… I have lost count of all the Chicks I shagged this week. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2011, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4594 "2011-12-08T22:41:12Z")
Chicks I shagged this week? Three twenty-year-old bimbos. I am Hugh Hefner. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4595 "2011-12-09T01:54:25Z")
I am Hugh Hefner. Come on, you bodacious chicks, bang me like a drum. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4596 "2011-12-11T06:44:52Z")
bang me like a drum thanks to plastic surgery my skin is that tight ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4597 "2011-12-11T07:57:48Z")
my skin is that tight tight as [Callista Gingrich](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cCYw2H3DVUI/TfPA7ooSG-I/AAAAAAAAEhw/hZakrXSVMS4/s1600/Callista+Gingrich.jpg) That’s one scary bitch ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4598 "2011-12-11T18:25:37Z")
That’s one scary bitch And her name is Barry Stitch? A coincidence! ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4599 "2011-12-12T11:53:12Z")
A coincidence! May be simple happenstance! Or something shouty! ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4600 "2011-12-12T15:58:48Z")
Or something Shouty Smurf would say when he is mad: "Smurf You, Gargamel!! ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4601 "2011-12-12T17:38:47Z")
Smurf you, Gargamel He’s the worst Smurf who Smurfed Smurfs I Smurfing hate Smurfs ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4602 "2011-12-13T14:27:12Z")
I Smurfing hate Smurfs To paraphrase Bernstein and Sondheim–Smurf You! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=229) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=231)