# Haiku Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 22, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955 "2010-02-22T07:27:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 247
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4923 "2012-08-21T15:38:14Z")
I want the real reason You clamped my testicles with A pair of [vise grips.](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_d3LNrp8kjDo/R_gCfGzxRmI/AAAAAAAAAEg/YXiIIjdYr50/s400/23big.png) ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4924 "2012-08-21T16:36:02Z")
A pair of vice grips Have just given me the most Disturbing image. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4925 "2012-08-21T21:55:03Z")
Disturbing image: Too much plastic surgery For [Tina Louise](http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/2009/02/24/tina-louise-has-gone-overboard/) ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 9:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4926 "2012-08-22T09:49:20Z")
For Tina Louise, I will offer this advice: Nobody is fooled! ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4927 "2012-08-22T12:22:44Z")
Nobody is fooled Two kids with long coat and beard Won’t trick the doorman ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4928 "2012-08-22T13:14:30Z")
“Won’t trick the doorman He smells, plus he’s on duty” said the prostitute ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4929 "2012-08-22T14:53:55Z")
Said the prostitute, “Who are you to judge me, sir? You could have been me!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4930 "2012-08-22T17:09:59Z")
“You could have been me!?” You ain’t that good lookin’, son. You ain’t that witty. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4931 "2012-08-22T17:27:26Z")
You ain’t that witty I sighed, when I heard her say, [“Oh, shut the front door!”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=662285) ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4932 "2012-08-22T18:05:51Z")
Oh, shut the front door This ain’t my first rodeo Not in my wheelhouse ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4933 "2012-08-22T18:12:28Z")
“Not in my wheelhouse!”, I said; “No whistling, or you’ll whistle up a storm!” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4934 "2012-08-23T00:14:11Z")
Whistle up a storm Those River Kwai bridge guys did A shitstorm, that is ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4935 "2012-08-23T10:02:32Z")
A shitstorm; that is, A tornado made of crap A lot like your mom. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4936 "2012-08-23T14:28:06Z")
“A lot like your Mom.” You clearly know her quite well Are we related? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4937 "2012-08-23T20:07:10Z")
Are we related? No way, Jose, you just aren’t as handsome as me. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4938 "2012-08-23T20:47:12Z")
as handsome as me. As handsome as I am is more proper English. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4939 "2012-08-23T21:34:21Z")
_More Proper English_ – Spike Lee’s yet unfilmed sequel To _Mo’ Better Blues_ ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4940 "2012-08-24T00:37:11Z")
To Mo’ Better Blues I raise a toast (even though I have not seen it) ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4941 "2012-08-24T03:55:20Z")
I have not seen it. I do not want to eat it: Green Eggs, Ham and Milk ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/4942 "2012-08-24T18:20:04Z")
Green Eggs, Ham – and _Milk_ – (A film featuring Sean Penn, star of _I Am Sam_) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=246) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=248)