# Haiku Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 22, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955 "2010-02-22T07:27:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 290
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5783 "2013-03-19T04:25:32Z")
Damn, I was hungry! I woke up, got out of bed Bacon and pancakes ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5784 "2013-03-19T06:47:35Z")
Bacon and pancakes … No maple syrup topping? I’ll try Drambuie ---
**Author:** ![Snerky\_Snerk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Snerky\_Snerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snerky_Snerk)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5785 "2013-03-19T11:19:03Z")
I’ll try Drambuie with Coke. Shaken not stirred. And a cocktail onion. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5786 "2013-03-19T12:10:44Z")
A cocktail onion Placed between your cheek and gum Keeps fat girls away. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5787 "2013-03-19T14:10:56Z")
Keeps fat girls away Bicycles, fat-bottomed girls Make the rockin’ world ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5788 "2013-03-20T23:44:26Z")
Make the rockin’ world go away forever. Please. I prefer old jazz. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5789 "2013-03-20T23:59:44Z")
I prefer old jazz A lit candle, warm brandy Then the kids wake up ---
**Author:** ![Snerky\_Snerk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Snerky\_Snerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snerky_Snerk)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5790 "2013-03-21T08:11:28Z")
Then the kids wake up, rub sleep from their beady eyes, with their dirty paws. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5791 "2013-03-21T10:08:03Z")
With their dirty paws They have marked up the carpet Mom starts vacuuming ---
**Author:** ![Snerky\_Snerk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Snerky\_Snerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snerky_Snerk)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5792 "2013-03-21T14:29:08Z")
Mom starts vacuuming Polly’s feathers off the floor while Dad drowns the cat. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5793 "2013-03-21T14:47:56Z")
While Dad drowns the cat I’m on the phone with the cops Daddy goes to jail ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5794 "2013-03-21T15:05:47Z")
Daddy goes to jail Now he’s in a gang and has a tattoo ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2013, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5795 "2013-03-21T21:41:51Z")
And has a tatto she does? That don’t bother me. What is her cup size? ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5796 "2013-03-22T02:58:35Z")
What is her cup size? Her breasts aren’t spectacular, But they **are** perky! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5797 "2013-03-22T04:08:42Z")
But they are perky Lovely bouncing and jiggling Just like lime Jell-o ---
**Author:** ![Tread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Tread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tread)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5798 "2013-03-22T09:42:29Z")
Just like lime Jell-o She was cold, green, and jiggly Captain Kirk did her ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5799 "2013-03-22T13:12:34Z")
Captain Kirk did her He jumped anything that breathed [Lovely Drusilla](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=safari&biw=1024&bih=644&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=drusilla+lois+jewell&oq=drusilla+lois+jewell&gs_l=img.3...6086.10290.0.11145.23.23.0.0.0.9.165.2573.7j15.22.0...0.0...1c.1.7.img.3UlROt-JzUM) ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5800 "2013-03-22T14:37:25Z")
Lovely Drusilla She’s dressed up for some space porn space pizza man’s here ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5801 "2013-03-22T14:45:24Z")
Space pizza man’s here Pepp’roni with aliens? Lots of gooey cheese? ---
**Author:** ![Snerky\_Snerk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Snerky\_Snerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snerky_Snerk)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5802 "2013-03-22T16:18:25Z")
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