# Haiku Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 22, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955 "2010-02-22T07:27:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 296
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5903 "2013-04-11T21:42:16Z")
Kill me! I don’t care! I 'll be reincarnated As your worst nightmare. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5904 "2013-04-11T22:35:36Z")
As your worst nightmare, I’m afraid I must tell you That you are now doomed. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5905 "2013-04-11T23:29:42Z")
That you are now doomed? Psst! Let me sell you this charm against destruction ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5906 "2013-04-12T01:06:25Z")
Against destruction? Vote now to stop all of the “End Construction” signs. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5907 "2013-04-12T14:24:46Z")
“End Construction” signs In orbit around the Earth May stop the Vogons ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5908 "2013-04-12T14:27:40Z")
May, stop the Vogons! Julie, stop the Romulans! June, stop the Daleks! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2013, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5909 "2013-04-12T17:39:29Z")
June, stop the Daleks! Use a gun if need be. They’re stealing silver spoons ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5910 "2013-04-13T03:22:29Z")
Stealing silver spoons Sipping soup so savory Settles Sam’s stomach ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2013, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5911 "2013-04-13T21:39:32Z")
Settles Sam’s stomach? Wonder drug it is indeed. Quick, John - go buy some! ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5912 "2013-04-14T02:57:37Z")
Quick, John - go buy some! You’re going out with a slut. You need those condoms! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2013, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5913 "2013-04-14T06:57:32Z")
You need those condoms “No glove, no love,” as they say She said to get twelve! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5914 "2013-04-14T16:35:13Z")
She said to get twelve? What if they have eleven? What do I do then? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5915 "2013-04-15T00:41:35Z")
What do I do then? He thought with condom in place. Guess I’ll put it in. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5916 "2013-04-15T08:29:12Z")
Guess I’ll put it in? She said, “push it in, then out.” Please make up your mind! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5917 "2013-04-15T12:03:23Z")
Please makeup your mind: Lipstick on your libido, Mascara your id. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5918 "2013-04-15T12:41:21Z")
Mascara your id High heels, and see-through short skirts Work it as you walk ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5919 "2013-04-15T15:14:03Z")
Work it as you walk; It’s a whole different sex, Like jello on springs! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5920 "2013-04-16T13:43:24Z")
Like jello on springs They jiggle as she sashays Firm, those flower hats ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5921 "2013-04-16T19:55:14Z")
Firm those flower hats sit, upon the heads of the women of the choir. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/5922 "2013-04-16T21:06:57Z")
women of the choir To sum up what St. Paul said: Sing and then shut up! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=295) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=297)