# Haiku Madness **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [February 22, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955 "2010-02-22T07:27:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 62
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1221 "2010-04-02T22:44:14Z")
When you’re being bad I won’t give you some cheddar Bad girls don’t get cheese ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1222 "2010-04-03T00:00:27Z")
Bad girls don’t get cheese But some guys allow them to Eat crackers in bed. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1223 "2010-04-03T00:18:07Z")
Eat crackers in bed In the garage, on the shitter So says Mr. Ritz ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1224 "2010-04-03T00:21:59Z")
So says Mr. Ritz You should be puttin’ me on. Channel Peter Boyle. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1225 "2010-04-03T04:03:43Z")
Six syllables to start, but what the hell… Channel Peter Boyle? Not part of Basic Cable, and thank God for that. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1226 "2010-04-03T11:45:32Z")
and thank God for that this ham and cheddar that I’m puttin’ on the Ritz ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1227 "2010-04-03T12:39:56Z")
Puttin’ on the Ritz The best thing on a cracker? Pudding on a ritz ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1228 "2010-04-03T14:35:20Z")
_Pudding on a Ritz_ gay cowboys in Manhattan next big indie hit. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1229 "2010-04-03T14:54:20Z")
Next big indie hit Run Lola Run, featuring The Kinks & Franka ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Uncle\_Goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Goat)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1230 "2010-04-03T15:30:32Z")
The Kinks and Franka walk into a bar and say “Do you serve crabs here?” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1231 "2010-04-03T18:50:15Z")
“Do you serve crabs here?” “Yes, and jackasses as well.” “Table for two, then.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1232 "2010-04-03T19:09:02Z")
“Table for two, then,” I said, but Keira whispered to me, “Let’s go home.” ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1233 "2010-04-03T20:39:24Z")
To me, let’s go home Means that she is pissed at me Long, silent car ride. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1234 "2010-04-03T20:59:47Z")
Long, silent car ride. Better than an argument Across three time zones. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1235 "2010-04-03T21:49:09Z")
Across three time zones I haven’t traveled with her, but no, she’s not pissed. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1236 "2010-04-03T22:53:27Z")
But no, she’s not pissed She’s drunk only lemonade I don’t mean Mike’s Hard ETA: (there’s a set-up for ya) ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1237 "2010-04-04T00:00:12Z")
I don’t mean Mike’s Hard Is one thing that I might say If this were porno ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1238 "2010-04-04T00:49:19Z")
If this were porno you could fit the whole screenplay into one haiku ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1239 "2010-04-04T01:22:07Z")
Into one haiku Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooooooooooh! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955/1240 "2010-04-04T01:49:37Z")
“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooooooooooh!” said the cable repairman in _Logjammin’_ flick. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=61) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haiku-madness/529955.md?page=63)