# Hail Maria, Full of . . . WTF? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 21, 2005, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391 "2005-04-21T11:46:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/41 "2005-04-22T04:07:43Z")
Wouldn’t it be a hoot if someone sprinkled some holy water on it and the whole thing dissolved and washed away? ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/42 "2005-04-22T04:20:44Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Well, if god-like images in common objects are not your thing, how about a [devil](http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/ejjaniak/detail?.dir=/1797&.dnm=8da1.jpg&.src=ph) in the woodwork? I took this one last fall of Satan himself in a cedar fence. > > The Glurgemaster. I couldn’t see Satan in it, so I tried squinting and then I saw an elephant. An elephant, that upon closer inspection, has six legs. ---
**Author:** ![antechinus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@antechinus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antechinus)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/43 "2005-04-22T04:41:57Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Wouldn’t it be a hoot if someone sprinkled some holy water on it and the whole thing dissolved and washed away? Or spinkle some ‘holy water’ consisting of an aqueous silver nitrate solution on at night (when it is darkest). You could have fun with devil-horn shaped sprinkles. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/44 "2005-04-22T08:25:39Z")
I sometimes hunger to know what goes on in the minds of people who believe they actually see mystical stuff in bizarre places—why in the name of all thats holy would the VM decide to decorate the wall of a damn tunnel in Chicago with her own image? “Lo! The poor Indian, whose untutored mind sees God in clouds, or hears him in the wind.” At least the poor Indian didn’t see an apparition on a tunnel wall. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/45 "2005-04-22T09:11:18Z")
> [@Marsie](#): > > A few years ago a self-proclaimed “mystic” said that the Virgin Mary was appearing to her once a month or so at a church about 1/2 mile from our house. Thousands of people gathered each time. Some said they saw the sun twirl in the sky, others claimed to smell roses in the air. When they did work on the highway leading to the church and traffic started getting tied up the “mystic” said that the Virgin Mary was moving it to a farm further down the road. Wasn’t that thoughtful of her??? Now imagine this “mystic” semi-frantically checking every cowpat in a field for an image of the Virgin Mary. ---
**Author:** ![Fortean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/96bed5/32.png) [@Fortean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fortean)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/46 "2005-04-22T11:30:49Z")
> [@](#): > > I sometimes hunger to know what goes on in the minds of people who believe they actually see mystical stuff in bizarre places—why in the name of all thats holy would the VM decide to decorate the wall of a damn tunnel in Chicago with her own image? Yeah I’ve often wondered the same, because that kind of thing has always seemed so crass, and I always wondered why (it seemed to me) that it was the images in the most godforsaken places (a potato chip, an underpass) that got the most attention. But when you think about it, there’s actually a rather lovely, and even philosophical, emotional reasoning behind it. It’s the purposeful juxtaposition of what is most lovely, and pure (hence it’s always Mary, who’s prettier than, say, St Paul) in the most mundane and dirty places. It immediately renders that mundane place beautiful and sacred. I think for people who are forced to live in dull, dirty places, where potato chips and underpasses are the only things they come into contact with, concocting a Virgin Mary out of a salt stain, and imagining that she would choose to show a little sign of herself there rather than in the gold leaf of the Vatican, must give them a great deal of hope and faith. And it also makes sense theologically – the Virgin Mary in a pancake is no less incongruous than the idea of God in a stable – ‘There is no rose of sych vertu As is the rose that bare Jesu, For in this rose contained was Heaven and earth in lytle space’ and all that. Yeah, I find it all quite touching. So meh. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/47 "2005-04-22T12:14:36Z")
The boyfriend has been quite amused by this whole thing. He has started spotting apparitions everywhere. Just this morning as I was getting out of the shower he swore he saw an image of RuPaul without makeup on the fogged up bathroom mirror. Last night he followed me out to the storage building with a flashlight in his hand. He shined the flashlight on the fence and swore he saw Diana Ross and Minnie Pearl waltzing. I think I’ve worn off on him a little too much. He’s off work today so he’s hanging out at my house. He says he’s spending the day looking for some suitable apparition to start a shrine to, right after he wakes back up cause he was going back to sleep when I left for work. I’m living in fear that he’ll find Jesus in the kitchen sink before the day’s over. **Chefguy** maybe I should introduce you to him. Y’all could have a profitable business if you put your minds together. Scary as that sounds! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/48 "2005-04-22T14:08:41Z")
What makes me just shake my head in wonderment is the presumption by all of these people that they know _exactly_ what Jesus, Mary, et al actually looked like. There are no descriptions of either of them that I’m aware of, certainly no paintings or drawings, only a vague outline on a disputed bedsheet. Mary may have been a troll and her son a chinless wonder for all we know. The artists’ renditions throughout the centuries have been idealistic renderings, for the most part, manifestations of what our western culture would _prefer_ our deities to look like: a white guy with a trimmed beard and curly hair and a MILF. ---
**Author:** ![hawkeyejo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@hawkeyejo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawkeyejo)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/49 "2005-04-22T15:04:12Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > What makes me just shake my head in wonderment is the presumption by all of these people that they know _exactly_ what Jesus, Mary, et al actually looked like. There are no descriptions of either of them that I’m aware of, certainly no paintings or drawings, only a vague outline on a disputed bedsheet. Mary may have been a troll and her son a chinless wonder for all we know. The artists’ renditions throughout the centuries have been idealistic renderings, for the most part, manifestations of what our western culture would _prefer_ our deities to look like: a white guy with a trimmed beard and curly hair and a MILF. I had never thought of that. :dubious: So, do you mean that all those miraculous images people have been praying to over the centuries have been fake??? This is most disturbing. :mad: I need a beer. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/50 "2005-04-22T15:19:59Z")
FWIW, I know a few people who are devout enough to buy this whole bit, and I don’t question their belief even a little. Sure, it seems illogical, but if a water stain on a wall can bring a measure of comfort to a person, who am I to ridicule? Now if I was to see the image of Cerrunnos or Astarte in my bran flakes, I don’t think I’d alert the media, but to each their own, not a lot of dopers out there, i’d guess. FYI, it’s raining here today, so I’d be amazed if the Good Lady’s image made it through the afternoon, if it’s not gone already. Now if it did stick around after a good soaking 20 hour rain like this one, THAT would be a minor miracle. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/51 "2005-04-22T16:03:18Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Somone alert Charlton Heston! **Chefguy** has a damn dirty ape in his tree! \ How many dirty stinking apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? \ It is like God isn’t even trying to impress us anymore. Maybe he/she is just phoning it in? ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/52 "2005-04-22T18:18:54Z")
> [@Marsie](#): > > Do they really have so little going on in their lives that they have to indulge in “magical thinking” hoping some great and good spirit from up in the sky is going to miraculously come down and make everything okay for them if only they say one more decade of the Rosary? Yeah, pretty much. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391/53 "2005-04-23T00:46:57Z")
Exodus 34:14 _et. al._ is apparently foreign to these folks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-maria-full-of-wtf/300391.md?page=2)