# Hail to the Monstre in Chief **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 31, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380 "2005-08-31T02:59:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/1 "2005-08-31T02:59:13Z")
As of today, Tuesday, August 30, 2005… I am now eligible to run for U.S. President. There are going to be some changes around here when I am finally in charge. If any Dopers are hoping for a position on the Monstre Cabinet, feel free to persuade me as to why you are the best qualified for the job. Monstre is very selective. Monstre For President in 2008 I want some cake, dammit… ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2005, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/2 "2005-08-31T05:37:01Z")
Happy Birthday, I presume? (Someone kill me, because I just heard that in a King Friday voice.) ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2005, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/3 "2005-08-31T05:38:02Z")
Oh, and can I be the Press Secretary? ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2005, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/4 "2005-08-31T05:55:56Z")
I want to be Minister of _Lookin’ Sexy_. And possibly Undersecretary of Underwear. I have references. ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2005, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/5 "2005-08-31T06:18:54Z")
Well, it’s either BD#35, or **Monstre** just became a natural-born American citizen. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2005, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/6 "2005-08-31T06:25:56Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > Oh, and can I be the Press Secretary? Certainly. I presume this means you are now in charge of all ironing. Here are a few of my shirts – I’ll need them done by 8:00. > [@Hung Mung](#): > > I want to be Minister of Lookin’ Sexy. Well, you’ll have to apprentice to me on that one, but you can be that underwear thing. > [@Cerowyn](#): > > or Monstre just became a natural-born American citizen. “just became”… hee hee 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/7 "2005-08-31T23:26:43Z")
Hmph. Even Lobsang’s “I’m bored and drunk” threads get more action. Well, then… **TellMeI’mNotCrazy** , **Hung Mung** , and **Cerowyn** will get cabinet positions of their choice. As President Monstre, maybe I’ll just deport the rest of ya’ll… 😛 > [@Cerowyn](#): > > or Monstre just became a _natural-born_ American citizen And too bad for my ineligible brother – he was a C-section… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/8 "2005-08-31T23:39:07Z")
Happy (late) Birthday! Hope it was nice! ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/9 "2005-09-01T00:57:32Z")
W00 H00!! I’m now Minister of _Lookin’ Sexy_!! Of course, I may have to serve some jail time because it’s a CRIME to look this good! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/10 "2005-09-01T04:37:12Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > W00 H00!! > I’m now Minister of _Lookin’ Sexy_!! > > Of course, I may have to serve some jail time because it’s a CRIME to look this good! Cat? Put the mirror down and buckle in. Holly says we’re about to make the jump to light speed. And Rimmer’s whingeing again… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/11 "2005-09-01T13:15:26Z")
I wanna be on your Cabinet. I’m female & sexy. Oh, and I have a thing for teachers. Am I in? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/12 "2005-09-01T13:47:03Z")
Well, as future Prime Minister, I’ll be sure to be calling your office soon. I mean, we know who _really_ calls the shots around here. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/13 "2005-09-01T13:51:20Z")
Me and \*\*Kyth \*\* can make out in the Oval Office. **Kyth** , you don’t mind, right? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/14 "2005-09-01T13:57:14Z")
You have to ask? Now, less talk, more of these… diplomatic discussions… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/15 "2005-09-01T15:09:01Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Me and \*\*Kyth \*\* can make out in the Oval Office. > > **Kyth** , you don’t mind, right? As Minister of _Lookin’ Sexy_, I approve this message. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/16 "2005-09-01T15:38:58Z")
I’d like to be Secretary of Procrastination, or, failing that, maybe Vice President. And I’m willing to make out with **Anaamika** and **Kythereia** to get the job, of course. Oh, and Happy Birthday! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/17 "2005-09-01T15:44:38Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > And I’m willing to make out with **Anaamika** and **Kythereia** to get the job, of course. Absolutely! The desk in the Oval Office is certainly big enough. Where is **Monstre** , anyway? Passed out from the excitement? He \*is \* getting on in years. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/18 "2005-09-01T15:46:31Z")
Happy Birthday! Don’t mind me, I’m just a UN Observer, here to watch Anaamika and Kythereia’s negotiation tactics. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/19 "2005-09-01T15:47:40Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > > [@Draelin](#): > > > > And I’m willing to make out with Anaamika and Kythereia to get the job, of course. > > Absolutely! The desk in the Oval Office is certainly big enough. In that case, I want to be Secretary of Secretly Placed Webcams. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/20 "2005-09-01T15:52:28Z")
First, belated Happy B’Day. Second, meh! The only “job” I want is Vice Monstre in Chief. Nice accomodations, nice pay, no responsibility. Just make a few stupid statements a year, spell ‘potato’ wrong, and the veem is set. I’d be a 5-digit poster within hours! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380.md?page=2)