# Hail to the Monstre in Chief **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 31, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380 "2005-08-31T02:59:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/21 "2005-09-01T17:26:45Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I wanna be on your Cabinet. > I’m female & sexy. > Oh, and I have a thing for teachers. > Am I in? 😛 How about… Secretary of Female Studies? Now hop up on the desk, so the studying can begin. Slide over, **Kyth** , make a little room between you two for your Monstre in Chief. Cigar, anyone? > [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > In that case, I want to be Secretary of Secretly Placed Webcams. Heyyyyyyy… you weren’t on Nixon’s staff, were you? > [@D\_Odds](#): > > The only “job” I want is Vice Monstre in Chief. Nice accomodations, nice pay, no responsibility. Just make a few stupid statements a year, spell ‘potato’ wrong, and the veem is set. Okay, I’ll put your name in the running, but just bear in mind that there will probably be some pretty stiff competition among all the other irresponsible slackers vying for the position. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/22 "2005-09-01T17:28:58Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > Happy Birthday! > > Don’t mind me, I’m just a UN Observer, here to watch Anaamika and Kythereia’s negotiation tactics. Well, have we convinced you yet? **Monstre** , don’t forget **Draelin** of the red hair and brown eyes! ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/23 "2005-09-01T17:35:00Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > I’d like to be Secretary of Procrastination, or, failing that, maybe Vice President. Due to my vast experience in the field, I will be personally overseeing most of the Procrastination-related projects, but if you **were** going to get me your resume today and didn’t, you’re hired. Your first procrastination-related endeavor will be to head up the committee on reforming social security. I’ll expect a report on my desk when I’m re-elected. Or whenever… ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/24 "2005-09-01T17:38:03Z")
I wanna be Secretary of Defence because good fences make good neighbors and that would bring world peace. Or at least stop all the kerfuffles with those savage Canadians. So pleeease \*\*Monstre \*\* may I? I’m thinking wrought iron, all fancy like the Victorians had. Though they’d be awful spiky to sit upon… ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/25 "2005-09-01T17:40:14Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > I wanna be Secretary of Defence because good fences make good neighbors and that would bring world peace. Or at least stop all the kerfuffles with those savage Canadians. So pleeease \*\*Monstre \*\* may I? > > I’m thinking wrought iron, all fancy like the Victorians had. Though they’d be awful spiky to sit upon… No, no, the iron is mine. I worked hard to become press secretary, I’ll need the right equipment. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/26 "2005-09-01T17:53:29Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > Okay, I’ll put your name in the running, but just bear in mind that there will probably be some pretty stiff competition among all the other irresponsible slackers vying for the position. I’ll pit my irresponsibility and my ability to slack up against any. Not only that, unlike the competition, I can be an irresponsible slacker yet look like I’m actually productive. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/27 "2005-09-01T18:20:13Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > I’ll pit my irresponsibility and my ability to slack up against any. Not only that, unlike the competition, I can be an irresponsible slacker yet look like I’m actually productive. I’m sitting here with a desk covered in papers and a phone glued to my ear–and I haven’t actually done anything in three hours except go to lunch. Beat that. Oh, and I deserve to be Vice Monstre because not only am I willing to make out in the Oval Office, I also bring [cake](http://www.koshergiftbaskets.com/images/black%20forest%20cake%20lg.jpg). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/28 "2005-09-01T19:20:16Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > Oh, and I deserve to be Vice Monstre because not only am I willing to make out in the Oval Office, I also bring [cake](http://www.koshergiftbaskets.com/images/black%20forest%20cake%20lg.jpg). 🙂 That settles it, you’re in. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/29 "2005-09-01T20:07:49Z")
Halfway through this thread is the first time I realized that **Monstre** is male. Does that mean I can be Secretary of Gender Equality? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/30 "2005-09-02T01:36:21Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > I wanna be Secretary of Defence because good fences make good neighbors and that would bring world peace. Or at least stop all the kerfuffles with those savage Canadians. So pleeease \*\*Monstre \*\* may I? > > I’m thinking wrought iron, all fancy like the Victorians had. Though they’d be awful spiky to sit upon… Can you make me a good electric fence? We can put it up around Congress and juice it up next time they are in session. > [@LilyoftheValley](#): > > Halfway through this thread is the first time I realized that Monstre is male. Ermmm… and how long have you been thinking otherwise? Just the first half of this thread, or prior to that? > [@](#): > > Does that mean I can be Secretary of Gender Equality? Okay, but you’ll be reporting to the Secretary of Gender Identification. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/31 "2005-09-02T02:35:19Z")
> [@Monstre](#): > > Ermmm… and how long have you been thinking otherwise? Just the first half of this thread, or prior to that? What’s really important in our administration is to focus on the present and not the dimly-remembered misconceptions of the past (which may have gone on since I first became a member). Obfuscate! Obfuscate! Throw up all the food you ate! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/32 "2005-09-02T04:58:24Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > I wanna be Secretary of Defence because good fences make good neighbors and that would bring world peace. Or at least stop all the kerfuffles with those savage Canadians. So pleeease \*\*Monstre \*\* may I? Savage Canadians–! That’s it, all negotiations are OFF! _buttons up blouse and storms away in a huff_ ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/33 "2005-09-02T06:04:53Z")
Can I be Under-Secretary in charge of Cats? I’m a redhead with blue eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/34 "2005-09-02T06:19:49Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > Can I be Under-Secretary in charge of Cats? **I’m a redhead with blue eyes.** Does the latter make you more qualified with cats, or are you just hitting on me? 😉 And can you do something about all these cats wandering around the White House? I don’t know who let them in, but I keep tripping over them… ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/35 "2005-09-02T06:50:26Z")
I don’t know if it makes me more qualified - does hitting on you make me more qualified?? Let me clear these babies out of the Oval Office - hey - you! With the fur! Stop that! I’ll just get them settled in the Lincoln Bedroom… ---
**Author:** ![Notorious\_Nik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/858c86/32.png) [@Notorious\_Nik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Notorious_Nik)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/36 "2005-09-02T07:07:38Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I wanna be on your Cabinet. > > I’m female & sexy. > > Oh, and I have a thing for teachers. > > Am I in? 😛 I’m a weak, weak man. I’m ashamed of myself for this. But yet I have to do it. Cite? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/37 "2005-09-02T13:04:10Z")
For which part, **Nik**? That I’m female, sexy, or have a thing for teachers? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/38 "2005-09-03T04:35:01Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > I don’t know if it makes me more qualified - does hitting on you make me more qualified?? I should think so. In fact, it should be known that there is no First Lady (First Monstress?). So I’ll be taking applications for First Babe(s). (And Second… and Third… and Fourth… and… you all get the gist). ---
**Author:** ![Notorious\_Nik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/858c86/32.png) [@Notorious\_Nik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Notorious_Nik)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/39 "2005-09-03T07:44:29Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > For which part, **Nik**? That I’m female, sexy, or have a thing for teachers? 😃 How about all of the above? Not that I don’t take your word for it, of course. It’s just, in the interest of the board, one should seek facts. (Yeah, I think she’ll buy that. It sounds so sincere. Wait, am I thinking this or typing it? I guess I’ll find out when I hit submit.) ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380/40 "2005-09-05T04:50:57Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Savage Canadians–! That’s it, all negotiations are OFF! _buttons up blouse and storms away in a huff_ Awwww, don’t go, **Kyth**. I’ll let you be Chief Secretary of Flirting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hail-to-the-monstre-in-chief/319380.md?page=3)