# Haircut advice needed **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 17, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659 "2008-03-17T15:18:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/1 "2008-03-17T15:18:02Z")
Okay, this is going to sound lame, but … I’ve got longer hair than I ever have had in my life, because I don’t know what to ask for when I get a haircut. I don’t like the idea of bringing in pictures and the like, but the last two cuts I had ended up looking lordawful because, well… I just don’t know the lingo, I guess. I don’t know what to ask for. Anyone able to lend me some advice here? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/2 "2008-03-17T15:23:34Z")
Yeah - bring in pictures of things you like. Why on earth don’t you want to do that? How else is the stylist supposed to know what you like and what you don’t? The idea isn’t, usually, to bring in one photo and say, “I want this cut!” - usually that won’t work because the hair in your pic may be thick and wavy while you’ve got thin and straight - but to bring in several so the stylist gets a sense of the sort of thing you like, and then can tell you whether or not you can achieve something along those lines. Until they start teaching cold reading in beauty school, the only way to get what you want is to communicate with your stylist. Since most of us don’t have the vocabulary to do that (“I’d like a modified shag with long chunky layers, starting at my ear and ending at my bra strap.”) or even the knowledge of what will work with our own hair, pictures are the best form of communication we have. ---
**Author:** ![laramary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/0ea827/32.png) [@laramary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laramary)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/3 "2008-03-17T15:31:06Z")
[QUOTE=ArrMatey!] Okay, this is going to sound lame, but … I’ve got longer hair than I ever have had in my life, because I don’t know what to ask for when I get a haircut. I don’t like the idea of bringing in pictures and the like, but the last two cuts I had ended up looking lordawful because, well… I just don’t know the lingo, I guess. I don’t know what to ask for. Anyone able to lend me some advice here? [/QUOTE] Well, what do you want it to look like? And are you giving incorrect input or not enough input? (are you using haircut terms that don’t seem to mean what you think they mean, or are you saying oh, whatever and making them guess). I, personally, am stinkerrific at anything hair cutting/doing, and coped for years by having waist-length hair. When I was compelled to chop it all off and donate it, things got frightening and complicated. I did have good results bringing in photos (of the girl from MirrorMask) once, and also with giving general imput (I am devoid of girl-skills, cannot do hair. However, my hair is blah, blah, and behaves this way. I have likes the messy-ish look and my job as an IT professional will allow for my hair to be a little edgy, but not really extreeme, thank you. So, what do you, haircut professional, suggest based on that? Oh, and please don’t use a straightener on me - it’ll look great until I wash it, and if I try to use a straightener I’ll only wind up burning myself and the dog in the process). Just going in and saying “I trust you” got one of my best friends a prince valient haircut that reached new heights of unflattering. What do you have against pictures? ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/4 "2008-03-17T17:44:18Z")
A practical solution is to come 15 minutes early to the salon, and ask that they give you the books/brochures with pictures of different haircuts. These model book are often conveniently grouped “men’s cuts long” “mens cuts curly” " woman long hair" woman mid-length" etc. Find two or three pictures you like (if you brought a couple of Post-it notes, to mark the pages, even easier) and ask the stylist if that particular cut would work for you. ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/5 "2008-03-17T17:51:10Z")
It has been my experience that I have much more luck with a (slightly) higher end hairdresser. I was going to a $21 stylist and she had no talent whatsoever with my hair and didn’t listen when I told her what I wanted. The hairdresser I have now costs almost twice that, but she sits me down and asks questions before she even shampoos me - about my activities, how I liked the last haircut, how my hair reacts to the current weather, etc. She does a wonderful job. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/6 "2008-03-17T18:01:34Z")
I tried to answer the question posed earlier, but the board went all crashy. Anyway, I think that my problem with pictures is that I don’t know at all what actually looks good. I could stare at men’s hairstyles for hours and have no clue whatsoever. Thus, asking, or even showing, is a difficult task for me. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/7 "2008-03-17T18:37:34Z")
OK, next suggestion. Provide us with a picture of you, talk to us about what kind of hair maintenance you are willing to do–and maybe some lifestyle comments, and we’ll provide you with pictures of hairstyle’s we think would look good on you. (Not a royal we, probably not even a we which includes me, but someone out here in cyberland has ideas of what would look good on you, but doesn’t know what you look like and so can’t answer your question). ETA: and if you’ve got pictures of the last couple of bad haircuts, show us those, too. And tell us why you think it was a bad haircut. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/8 "2008-03-17T19:36:10Z")
Check out this site: [http://haircutsformen.org/buzz/pages/tipsgreatcuts.htm](http://haircutsformen.org/buzz/pages/tipsgreatcuts.htm) It’s got what you’re looking for, I think. Photos, advice, and terms to use to describe the cut you have in mind. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/9 "2008-03-17T19:45:11Z")
Do you have a picture of yourself with the haircut you want? Take that in. If you are going for something new, it is much tougher - you have to find a picture of someone with a similar haircut - and I always discover that with the shape my face, or the wave in my hair, or the amount of work I’m willing to do - it looks like crap anyway. I’m way better off with “this is a picture of me with a good haircut - do that.” ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/10 "2008-03-17T19:46:24Z")
[QUOTE=ArrMatey!] Anyway, I think that my problem with pictures is that I don’t know at all what actually looks good. I could stare at men’s hairstyles for hours and have no clue whatsoever. Thus, asking, or even showing, is a difficult task for me. [/QUOTE] Don’t worry about what might look good on YOU. That’s your stylist’s job.\* Just start by finding stuff that you like on \*other \*guys. The idea isn’t to come to him and say, “I want [Brad Pitt’s hair](http://climateprogress.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/brad_pitt.jpg) do that!” but rather to say, “Well, I like that one and [this](http://www.metroformen.com/images/services_main.gif) and [this](http://yell0.ipixmedia.com/abc/yell/_YELL_67bbb019ebe5761063dddc4efbfa5dd9/AP9_0-image-3_T2.JPG) - but maybe it’s a little too long, and [this](http://www.nationalhair.com/hair_loss_hair_replacement_men/hair_replacement_loss_phoenix.gif) and [this](http://www.buyhair.com/200a/p4a.jpg), but not quite so gay. And I’m willing to spend about 10 minutes on my hair everyday and I’m terrible at making appointments for trims.” Then the stylist thinks, “Okay, so he likes something loose and slightly spiky, lots of texture, no smooth lines, with a bit of length on the top, but short around the sides and back…and y’know, maybe I could talk him into some highlights, 'cause these looks are really sharp with highlights…oh, he’s got a heck of a cowlick on the back of his head - better remember to work that into the direction of the cut. I’m going to keep this bit a little longer to draw attention away from his large nose, and I’ll do lots of texturizing so if he lets 7, 8 weeks go between trims it’ll grow out into something interesting.” Or whatever it is that a stylist actually thinks. I’m not one, although I have one who talks out loud like that a lot. Or, as an alternative, try one of the [virtual haircut](http://www.hairfinder.com/computerhairstylesmale.htm) cites, if you’re determined to do the stylist’s work for him. That will at least let you preview whether or not you like a cut on your face, but it won’t help you determine whether or not a cut will work with your _hair_. I’d still choose a couple of options so you don’t get your heart set on one cut that just won’t work for you. \*I second the idea of going to a medium to high end stylist once in a while. Anyone cheap can do maintenance trims, but it does take more skill to create a style that works for you. Men can easily get away with a new 'do once every three years and not look outdated. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/11 "2008-03-17T20:35:40Z")
Okay. Well… Here you go. The only online pic of me. And, of course, with the wind blowing, my hair already looks like heck… [![](https://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b346/CrazyIvan777/jimbeaux01.jpg) ](https://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b346/CrazyIvan777/jimbeaux01.jpg) As for the good advice of **WhyNot** , the problem as I see it is, I don’t know what looks good, not just on me, but on other people as well. For whatever reason, the ‘identify attractive hair’ gene passed me by… ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/12 "2008-03-17T20:50:14Z")
Find yourself a beautician who works out of his/her home (or a very small salon) as a full time job. Ask around. Talk to people and find someone who can make a recommendation. Then call that person, make an appointment, and let them know you want some extra time to talk to them, because you aren’t sure what you want. You want the full-time, out of the house or small salon, because these are the people who make-it or break-it on reputation. They aren’t going to make a living with whichever walkin wanders by. If they aren’t any good, they will be out of the business. Then take the suggestions that Whynot made. When you go in, they will be ready and able to talk you through what you like and what should look good. My SO used to go to one of the mall, just out of school haircutting chains. Costcutters, Fantastic Sams… There are a bunch of them. His hair cuts were usually borderline aweful and unimaginative. His sideburns weren’t even. No one paid attention to his cowlick, or how the hair at the collar tends to always turn to the left. If someone was good enough to understand his hair they soon moved on to another, better, salon. So I suggested he look elsewhere. He found a woman who fits my description above. She’s wonderful. Even when we move 40 miles away, I’m going to suggest he keep going back there for haircuts. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2008, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/13 "2008-03-17T21:09:06Z")
[QUOTE=ArrMatey!] Okay. Well… Here you go. The only online pic of me. And, of course, with the wind blowing, my hair already looks like heck… [![](https://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b346/CrazyIvan777/jimbeaux01.jpg) ](https://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b346/CrazyIvan777/jimbeaux01.jpg) As for the good advice of **WhyNot** , the problem as I see it is, I don’t know what looks good, not just on me, but on other people as well. For whatever reason, the ‘identify attractive hair’ gene passed me by… [/QUOTE] The first specific thing I’d suggest is getting rid of a lot of it. I know, I know, I love long hair on men, too. But the weight of it around the girth of your neck means your head comes off as a triangle. It looks like your hair has a nice amount of texture and volume, and could be quite attractive. But I want to see your eyes better - not just because the sun is in them and your hair is in them, but because you have all that focus down below your chin - my eye is drawn away from your eyes (which, I suspect, are quite gorgeous.) Ending your hairline around your eye level will let me focus on your eyes more. I think your face is a “pear shaped” one, according to [this site.](http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip3906.htm) > [@](#): > > Pear And Diamond Shapes > > A classic pear shape is narrow at the top and wide at the bottom of the face. The jaw and chin tend to be more rounded than square. > > \ > > A pear shaped face can be balanced with fullness at the crown and the around the temples. Short, full styles that end right above the jaw provide a more balanced face shape and give more definition to the jaw area. From **Beadalin** ’s link, I think something like [this shag](http://haircutsformen.org/buzz/graphics/termgraphics/shag.jpg) or [this graduated cut](http://haircutsformen.org/buzz/graphics/termgraphics/graduation.jpg) might be nice on you. ---
**Author:** ![Crawlspace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Crawlspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crawlspace)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/14 "2008-03-18T03:19:01Z")
[QUOTE=Rascal’s Mom] It has been my experience that I have much more luck with a (slightly) higher end hairdresser. I was going to a $21 stylist and she had no talent whatsoever with my hair and didn’t listen when I told her what I wanted. The hairdresser I have now costs almost twice that, but she sits me down and asks questions before she even shampoos me - about my activities, how I liked the last haircut, how my hair reacts to the current weather, etc. She does a wonderful job. [/QUOTE] Alright. Yeah. Double that. But with feeling. I went for a haircut today (for the first time in seven months) and settled on the first place I found. Granted this was NYC, so the first place I found could have cost me $60, but it was the reasonable $20 Unisex place. I had near ponytail length boy hair going in. I asked for 1-2" off and, well, I have a Whal buzzer that probably would have done a better job. So, lesson for you and for me: Know what you want, have pictures of what you want, and make sure the person with scissors knows what you want. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/15 "2008-03-18T03:35:57Z")
My suggestion would be to go to a high-end salon once, meet with a real professional, and get a consultation and a cut, having her do what she recommends for you. It will be expensive but worth it. After that, go to a cheaper (not Supercuts or the like- not _that_ cheap) place every 4 weeks and just ask them for a trim and keep the new style going for as long as is fashionable. Repeat every few years, or until you go bald. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/16 "2008-03-18T09:31:53Z")
**ArrMatey** , your username has always reminded me of all my friends who are what they call Pyrate Punx. So when you asked about hairstyle, I knew right away what style I thought might look good on you. [check it out](http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj107/quorumangelorum/534583215617.jpg) Dude is built real solid, like yourself; and I think this cut looks really sexy. But, it may not be your cup of tea. ---
**Author:** ![lunar\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lunar\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lunar_elf)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2008, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/17 "2008-03-18T12:05:24Z")
Just 2 of my experiences lately. I just recently switched stylists after going to a highish end salon for the past 1.5 yrs. (My original one left, and then I was stuck with the new people since then and finally stuck with one but kept giving her one more shot until now.) I woke up, just being fed up with my hair one day and decided to do something about it. I had previously done some google searches on salons in the area. I found one not too far away that had a website and seemed a step down from where I was going, but the stylists all seemed to have varied experience I figured someone could help me! I drove to the salon and waited for someone to answer some questions I had. I got REAL lucky and this lady was wonderful. She sat with me and asked me why I was there, what I wanted etc. I’m a mom, and I didn’t want to be stuck with a ‘mom cut,’ or a style that was going to take a half hour to do in the morning. I told her I wanted some bounce and layers and something similiar to Jennifer Anniston, cause I’ve had that style of cut in the past and loved it. She asked me questions, and even ran her fingers through my hair … to get an idea of texture :). That’s when she offered to give me a cut if I had time. I thought about it, since I had my daughter with me and figured ‘why not,’ and went out to get the stroller to occupy my daughter while I got a cut. So as my stylist cut my hair she explained everything she did (which seems rare, and it’s info you almost have to pry out of someone). Things as simple as where to part the hair, and how to train it to move it. She told me she was a perfectionist and I couldn’t leave until my hair was right and how both of us wanted it. (She said she might chase me with scissors if a piece wasn’t right!) I came home and Mr. Elf LOVED my hair. He asked if I had got it colored again - nope, just a cut. So since he needed a cut, I gave her a call to get hubby in. Mr. Elf has been going to the cut n go/cheapie type places since we moved here 6 years ago. He used to have a family friend/salon owner cut his hair up to that point - nothing overly complicated really. So this new stylist cut his hair, maybe not as exactly perfect but then again we weren’t sure what type of style he should have, but this woman has a vision and I believe we’ll get there. Of course she encouraged us both to bring in pictures next time, several if needed and point out things that we like and she’ll work to get there. So my advice: -Do go to the highish end salon route every once in awhile, it really does make a difference, but you can have questionable results sometimes -Find pictures -Ask others who have haircuts/styles you like about their stylists (that’s how I found mine after living here awhile - too bad she moved) -Be honest when answering questions about maintenance, lifestyle - how much time and effort do you want to do to maintain the style ---
**Author:** ![laramary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/0ea827/32.png) [@laramary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laramary)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/18 "2008-03-19T02:59:16Z")
I’m liking **WhyNot’s** suggestion of the graduated haircut on you, personally (and, you know, my opinion about your hair should really matter to you). I think that or something very similar would look good. Of course, I think it looks fine as it is in the photo, also. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2008, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/haircut-advice-needed/441659/19 "2008-03-19T14:45:01Z")
Yeah, looks like I’m going to shoot for the graduated. We’ll see how it goes… I thank you all for your time and advice!