Hairdressers!

The BBQ Pit
21

Indygrrrl: Yeah, I don’t exactly dig the personal remarks either. When I was about 11, I went to a salon with my mom. We lived in North Jersey at the time, and the shampoo girl was a total Jersey ho. Think Adriana from Sopranos, only not pretty. Anyway, the shampoo bowl was directly beneath some glaring lights. So I kept my eyes closed until I couldn’t stand the heat through my eyelids, then I opened them until I couldn’t keep them open any more, 20 goto 10. The shampoo girl delivered me to the stylist’s chair, and called out to my mom, “She was actin’ like she was dyin’…flappin’ her eyes open and closed.” Bitch. So you noticed I was uncomfortable, but instead of asking me if anything was wrong, such as…A HUNDRED FUCKING WATTS SHINING DIRECTLY INTO MY EYES, you fucking complain against me?

To be perfectly fair, she may have, by that time, seen more than her share of squirming kids. But still, I wasn’t making an unnecessary fuss; I was just opening and closing my eyes. Hardly a transgression that had to be reported to my mom.

whiterabbit, I could have written your post, word for word. I finally had to stop going to this neighborhood salon, because they always cut them crooked. Then I went to a chain salon, and they did them even worse. Guess I’m gonna have to un-ass some money and go to the salons where the actresses (and wanna-bes) go. I’ve often seen the clientele walking out looking gorgeous, but up till now, I always thought, “That’s not for me.” Well, it’ll have to be for me, unless I want to do it myself. Which I can’t.

Eve: Lillian Gish’s hairdresser? That’s it; I’m going to New York.

Or I could fly out MIL’s hairdresser, who gave me the most beautiful updo before a wedding. Not a garish beehive, you understand, but tight and smooth on the bottom, tapering upwards, and loose on top. (She took into account the fact that I wear glasses, thus avoiding the Gollum effect that would result if my hair were pulled tight at the temples and scalp.)

Got back to MIL’s house in my cashmere sweater and black trousers. Strode out on deck flourishing a cigarette and declared, “Just vodka for me, sweetie darling” a la Patsy Stone.

22

My hair does this too, even though it is straighter than string. Not, however, as drastically as yours apparently does! Still, when I used to try to cut my own bangs, it took me a few times to figure out why I kept ending up with Mr. Spock bangs even though I knew I hadn’t cut that much off!

Fortunately for me, my hairdresser LISTENED to me when I told her about this!

23

But then we’d all die from a virus contracted through a dirty phone, so we’d be right back where we started.

My last two haircuts I went to Great Clips because a) I don’t make a lot of money and b) I just needed a couple of inches off. I’d love to get my hair relayered, but I don’t have $30 I can spend on a haircut, especially when I get it cut twice a year at most.

24

Guys go through this same kind of horror… I was once getting a cut at the local chop shop.

I was happy with the hair cut when she swung me around to the mirror…

Then she suggested she take some off the sideburns… I said maybe a little…She then took a small electric razor and touched it to my sideburn at the top of my ear and cut straight down into my beard!!( I at that time had a full beard). Leaving a blank space from the top of my ear to about the bottom of my ear lobe.

I sat there aghast and unable to speak and she quickly walked around and did the same to the other ear…

When I finally came to, I screamed for the manager!!
All I got for all my discomfort was a coupon for a free cut next trip.(like I would EVER darken that door again!!) and no charge!

Sorry for the hijack

Carry on…

25

A couple of weeks back a male barber went at the right side of my head with electric clippers, all the time pontificating about how Diefenbaker had been the greatest Prime Minister ever. My response was the occasional “Ow!” but otherwise I did not say much, for I know better than to argue with an excited man holding sharp instruments close to my neck. After twenty minutes, he said, “Oh, I suppose I should even up the other side.”

The carnage was quite impressive. He had drawn blood in two places on the right side and one place on the left side.

26

I go get my hair professionally cut once every 6 years or so. I don’t really pay much attention to who I pick.

27

Oh, the humanity! The carnage! I have very, very long, naturally wavy (not curly) hair and, like whiterabbit, I’m unable to see the back in order to trim it myself (trust me, bringing it around to the front where you can see it results in a very uneven line when returned to it’s usual position). I went to a pricey/trendy salon that’s popular with the visiting Hollywood glitterati and laid out a fortune for a simple trim. When the stylist was done, my hair (which, at that time, was below my waist in length) was brushing shoulder length. After gnashing of teeth, tears and wailing, I, too, was offered a coupon for a free service. Yeah, right…let you botch again in another 6 YEARS when it finally gets back to it’s original length!!

Necessity, being the mother of invention, I paid for my little sister to go through barber college and then beauty school and now her husband trims my hair for me (nope, not a barber/cosmetologist - an HVAC guy, but he does a really good job) - she’s got so many clients that she doesn’t have time for family cuts anymore! She has 1 guy that flies 1800 miles once every 6 weeks for her to cut his hair (she’s that good). BTW, way back in my misspent youth, I went to school, became a licensed cosmetologist/esthetician, worked in a shop that I later bought and (even later still) turned over to my sister when I realized that I was just NO GOOD at styling other people’s hair to their satisfaction - it truly is an art, when done properly.

28

Hamadryad and OpalCat have both had me cut their hair. Although, from Opal’s ringing endorsement, I may not do it again…

I have long hair. I get it trimmed about once every two months. It’s sort of hard to fuck it up when I say 'take off an inch from the length, ALL OVER. If they start to mess it up - and I can tell - I have them stop, and get someone else in the salon to finish it. Usually the manager.

29

I go to the same gay hairdresser I’ve gone to for over ten years - I started seeing him when I was in high school and I still go back to him. We have an amazing relationship, all I have to do is say “I want something like…well, you know, did you see Buffy and Friends or Lucy Liu’s hair in this?” and I immediately get “Oh, my God, yes! Your hair would be perfect like that! I know exactly what to do.” I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad haircut from him, which is amazing because NO ONE ELSE in the world knows how to cut my extremely thick, wavy-curly hair and cut it right. I lived in NYC for four years, found one hairdresser who cut my hair perfectly one time and then found out he didn’t take appointments, so I could never get him back again. I would wait until I visited my parents in VA to get my hair trimmed by my guy. He keeps up on the latest cuts (which is pretty amazing since he cuts hair in a suburban hell where most of the women are SAHMs who keep their hair in those short bowl cuts), and I love it when he does my hair. I don’t know what I’ll do when I go to grad school in August and then move out west after school. I may have to schedule visits every three months to VA just to let him cut my hair.

Ava