# Half An Oreo Is Not Better Than None **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812 "2005-12-02T21:16:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812/1 "2005-12-02T21:16:59Z")
Dear Dr. Pastry Surgeon: Your diligent efforts to reduce your intake of saturated fat goodies in the lounge has not gone unnoticed. Such deporking activities are the envy of all your colleagues. Nevertheless. Kindly stop surgically debulking the baked treats. If you don’t want part of what you handle, toss out the rest. It is unappetizing to say the least, to see your dismembered pastry carcasses littering the kitchen. This includes half-Oreos as well as the doughnuts you casually break into segments, leaving the leftovers behind. At least it _looks_ like you did this, rather than gnawing off a hunk and discarding the rest. As this is a hospital, no one knows who or what you have been palpating, and whether you deign to wash afterwards. I am not even going to dwell on the vileness of scraping off the icing from crullers and leaving the naked remnants. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812/2 "2005-12-02T22:04:53Z")
:: licks filling out of thread, throws remains in MPSIMS :: ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812/3 "2005-12-02T22:07:01Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > :: licks filling out of thread, throws remains in MPSIMS :: good one! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812/4 "2005-12-02T22:10:17Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > :: licks filling out of thread, throws remains in MPSIMS :: That’s the first time I’ve seen the prehensile tongue in action – god willing, it will also be the last. ---
**Author:** ![Corii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Corii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corii)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812/5 "2005-12-02T22:11:21Z")
That reminds me of those people who poke and smush all of the filled chocolates until they find one that they like. Eeeew. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812/6 "2005-12-02T22:17:36Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > :: licks filling out of thread, throws remains in MPSIMS :: Picks up leftovers before 5 second rule, and happily gnaws on it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812/7 "2005-12-02T22:20:03Z")
> [@Yeticus Rex](#): > > Picks up leftovers before 5 second rule, and happily gnaws on it. Wonders why there isn’t a vomit smiley. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812/8 "2005-12-02T22:49:49Z")
Mundane? _Mundane_? Hah! Don’t you realize the psychic trauma that ensues when one is exposed to a veritable Jonestown of dismembered pastry corpses to begin the day? I will need extra chips and salsa tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812/9 "2005-12-02T22:52:28Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > That’s the first time I’ve seen the prehensile tongue in action – god willing, it will also be the last. I…will refrain. With difficulty. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2005, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-an-oreo-is-not-better-than-none/333812/10 "2005-12-02T23:04:06Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Mundane? _Mundane_? Hah! > > Don’t you realize the psychic trauma that ensues when one is exposed to a veritable Jonestown of dismembered pastry corpses to begin the day? The problem is that we don’t have a Deeply Traumatic Yet Pointless Stuff that I Must Share forum. Yet.