# Half-Assed or Half-Fast?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [August 28, 2001, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553 "2001-08-28T17:19:40Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Awakenedgiant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/awakenedgiant/32/13999_2.png) [@Awakenedgiant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Awakenedgiant)\
**Post date:** [May 5, 2023, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/21 "2023-05-05T15:20:20Z")

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That works too 😀, I also have a feeling it wasn’t an accident, he was lying and probably incarcerated right now lol

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**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\
**Post date:** [May 5, 2023, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/22 "2023-05-05T16:53:23Z")

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> [@JeffB](#):
>
> I believe the lyric is “high-class game.”

Correct. If one listens to the hi-def release of the song, isolating the channel with Mick’s vocal, “high-class game” is crystal clear.

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**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\
**Post date:** [May 5, 2023, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/23 "2023-05-05T17:02:19Z")

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For all in tents and porpoises it’s half-assed.

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**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\
**Post date:** [May 5, 2023, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/24 "2023-05-05T17:13:25Z")

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Isn’t ‘half-assed’ just an example on the usage of [‘assed’ or ‘arsed’ to mean ‘bothered’ or ‘willing to put in the effort’?](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/arsed#English)

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**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\
**Post date:** [May 5, 2023, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/25 "2023-05-05T17:24:36Z")

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The OED describes the “assed” component as either

> With modifying word or as the second element in compounds: having a rump, rear, or bottom of a specified kind

or

> As the second element in compounds, forming adjectives with the sense ‘having or displaying the quality designated by the first element to an extreme or undesirable degree’, as lazy-assed, stupid-assed, etc

It indicates “half-assed” as using the first one. BTW its first citation for “half-assed” is from 1863.

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**Author:** ![Missbee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Missbee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missbee)\
**Post date:** [May 18, 2025, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/26 "2025-05-18T23:13:57Z")

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The adage began as 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧-𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵, as in only using half of one’s full capability, however, because of the announciation the pun is 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥.  
The Simpsons use it in an Episode when Lisa calls Homer’s attempt at parenting “half-fast” as an intellectual adjective. Confused Homer replies "I was using my whole ass.’ Signifying his misinterpretation of her sophisticated vocabulary.

The proof for this lies in the seperation of the 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗯 from the proffix. “Assed” is not a verb in the English dictionary. “Fast” is.

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**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/27 "2025-05-19T00:02:30Z")

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.5 FAST

(Yes, that completes my post)

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**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/28 "2025-05-19T09:54:14Z")

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That’s odd.  
Missbee above doesn’t have a mesage that says “this is the first time missbee  
has posted” etc. And their info just says “Joined 11 hours ago Read 8m” …  
no “Posted 11 hours ago”.  
Explain that if you can !!

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**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/29 "2025-05-19T11:10:37Z")

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> [@KneadToKnow](#):
>
> Tom and Ray have a running joke regarding one’s “vast experience” and the other’s “half-vast experience,” but that’s the closest I’ve ever heard to the posited formation.

The joke I always heard played off of Newt Minow’s description ot TV as a vast wasteland, commenting that, in fact, it was only half vast.

(As much as I dislike contributing to a twice resurrected zombie!)

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**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/30 "2025-05-19T12:12:12Z")

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> [@Dinsdale](#):
>
> (As much as I dislike contributing to a twice resurrected zombie!)

By this point, I bet half its ass has rotted off.

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**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/31 "2025-05-19T13:21:19Z")

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Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, there is supposably a deep-seeded use of half-fast

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**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/32 "2025-05-19T14:04:04Z")

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“Half-assed,” meaning something done in a lazy or slipshod way, clearly predates “half-fast.” The latter’s just a mondegreen—a mishearing. That’s what the etymological dictionaries say, and what my own (fairly quick) research backs up. I’ve found examples of “half-assed” going back to the 1920s. I haven’t seen any earlier usage of “half-fast” in this sense. If anyone has solid textual evidence to the contrary, I’d honestly be interested in seeing it. The “-assed” ending appears in other words around that time. I found “raggedy-assed” in 1929’s _The Songs My Mother Never Taught Me_ in the song “The Raggedy-Assed Cadets,” referencing performances of it in 1917. So the “-assed” ending was around at the time.

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**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/33 "2025-05-19T14:23:00Z")

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nm. .

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**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/34 "2025-05-19T14:36:09Z")

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There is a marching Mardi Gras parade krewe in New Orleans known as Pete Fountain’s Half-Fast Walking Club, founded in 1961 by local celebrity clarinetist Fountain. Fountain marched with the krewe for for 55 parades, until his death in 2016.

**[Anyway](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half-Fast_Walking_Club)**:

> The “Half-Fast” is one of the best known marching [Krewes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krewes) that parades in New Orleans on Mardi Gras. The original name was “The Half-Assed Walking Club” and was an excuse to take a “lubricated” musical stroll down the parade route. Pete changed the name under pressure exerted by the parade organizers.

[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/LogINXEKmSo/hqdefault.jpg "Mardi Gras 2025: Pete Fountain's Half Fast Walking Club") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LogINXEKmSo)

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**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/35 "2025-05-19T23:18:09Z")

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> [@Missbee](#):
>
> The proof for this lies in the seperation of the 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗯 from the proffix. “Assed” is not a verb in the English dictionary. “Fast” is.

And of course, everybody knows that slang expressions must absolutely always follow proper rules of grammar. Not to mention spelling.

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**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/36 "2025-05-19T23:21:36Z")

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> [@Roderick\_Femm](#):
>
> And of course, everybody knows that slang expressions must absolutely always follow proper rules of grammar.

I was taught that in college by my Proffixer.

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**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/37 "2025-05-19T23:27:28Z")

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I’m still wondering what dictionaries @Missbee uses, that list “fast” in that sense as a verb. As well as wondering why “half” should go with a verb, instead of with an adjective (which both “assed” and “fast” are).

I guess with “fast” as a verb, “half-fast” would mean a caloric reduction?

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**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\
**Post date:** [May 19, 2025, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/38 "2025-05-19T23:57:42Z")

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> [@Chronos](#):
>
> I guess with “fast” as a verb, “half-fast” would mean a caloric reduction?

Yeah, to “half-fast” means to eat only half as much as usual I suppose.

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**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\
**Post date:** [May 20, 2025, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/39 "2025-05-20T17:16:29Z")

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> [@Missbee](#):
>
> The adage began as 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧-𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵, as in only using half of one’s full capability, however, because of the announciation the pun is 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥.

> [@Missbee](#):
>
> The proof for this lies in the seperation of the 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗯 from the proffix. “Assed” is not a verb in the English dictionary. “Fast” is.

This makes no sense. In what way does “fast” mean “using full capability”? Where do you get that idea?

You know, it’s easy to just make up etymologies. Like, the phrase was originally “doing a job half-hearted”, to “doing an ass job half-hearted”, to “doing a half-hearted ass job”, to “doing a half-ass job”, which easily becomes past tense.

That’s much more same sane than “fast” meaning “whole ability”.

I mean, that to longer to type on my phone than think up. I’m sure someone could do better if they did a whole-assed job.

As for fast being a verb, yes it can be a verb, but one completely unrelated to the rest of the usage here, which is about _adjectives_.

Also note that vulgarity inserted into phrases for dramatic effect (emphasis, exasperation) don’t necessarily comply with proper rules of grammar. And there’s always the fact that one can misunderstand the original use and think the meaning breaks grammar when in the original it complied with grammar.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\
**Post date:** [May 21, 2025, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/half-assed-or-half-fast/78553/40 "2025-05-21T21:36:48Z")

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The 1863 usage in context doesn’t do much to clarify the original intention behind the phrase, but it makes interesting reading. See the [Google Books scan of _General Orders of the War Department_, pp 233-4](https://www.google.com/books/edition/General_Orders_of_the_War_Department_Emb/9zkbAAAAYAAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22there+goes+our+half-assed+adjutant%22&pg=PA234&printsec=frontcover)

A Captain John H. Behan was court-martialed on February 19, 1863, on two charges: “Conduct to the prejudice of good order and military discipline” and “Conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman.” One of the specifications of the latter charge was that on or about December 2, 1862, he uttered words that were “calculated to weaken and impair the influence of” his company’s acting Adjutant, Second Lieutenant Joseph B. Hamilton. The full quotation of the offending alleged remark is “There goes our half-assed Adjutant.” Behan was found not guilty of that specification, but was found guilty of other specifications of the second charge, and was dismissed from the Union Army.

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