# Hammacher Schlemmer: The pretentious catalogue that goes in The wastebin **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2021, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857 "2021-05-11T18:45:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/1 "2021-05-11T18:45:06Z")
The Piper household got a Hammacher Schlemmer catalogue The other day; we haven’t received a copy of The catalogue for The longest time. Had forgotten The ridiculous tag of using “The” in front of every single one of The things in The catalogue; The Hammacher Schlemmer people don’t just sell “Fantastic Gadgets” but “The Fantastic Gadgets”. I find The use of “The” so distracting that The catalogue goes straight in The wastebin as soon as The catalogue enters The house. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/2 "2021-05-11T18:49:35Z")
And your question is??? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/3 "2021-05-11T18:52:27Z")
Obviously this doesn’t belong in GQ. I will move it to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/4 "2021-05-11T18:53:12Z")
Sorry, two flags, looks like we each reacted to one. Meanwhile, moved from GQ to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/5 "2021-05-11T18:53:13Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > And your question is??? I have many questions. Chief amongst them is how many years it will take me to learn how to start new threads in the appropriate forum in the new SDMB-Discourse. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/6 "2021-05-11T18:54:28Z")
They sell a gadget for that. $26,000.00 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/7 "2021-05-11T18:55:17Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > They sell a gadget for that. - > $26,000.00 The Best Topic Posting Gadget. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/8 "2021-05-11T18:55:58Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > I find The use of “The” so distracting that The catalogue goes straight in The wastebin as soon as The catalogue enters The house. We throw _every_ catalog into recycling as soon as it comes out of the mailbox. I honestly don’t know why these companies continue to go to the expense of printing and mailing these. My father was a huge catalog shopper, but his generation has died off (or will soon). ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/9 "2021-05-11T18:57:32Z")
Please make a minimal attempt at misspelling a word in your thread title. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/10 "2021-05-11T18:58:11Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > I have many questions. But what is The Question? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/11 "2021-05-11T18:58:57Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > > [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > > > I have many questions. > > But what is The Question? - The Life, The Universe and The Everything. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/12 "2021-05-11T19:01:00Z")
That sounds like The Ology. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/13 "2021-05-11T19:05:48Z")
But they’ve got such a nice [hummingbird feeder](https://digital.hammacher.com/Items/96963/96963_1000x1000.jpg), just the thing for the OP! ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/14 "2021-05-11T19:06:57Z")
I think you’re thinking of **Colibri**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/15 "2021-05-11T19:39:39Z")
Wait, your avatar isn’t a hummingbird? ETA: It’s a bagpipe! Ah, makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/16 "2021-05-11T19:40:29Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > Hammacher Schlemmer The catalog has a contraption called a “Self-Contained Hootenanny” for $54,000. It looks and sounds like this: [Orchestreon/ Hootenany - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT3bRWrkJUI) ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/17 "2021-05-11T19:46:52Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > The catalog has a contraption called a “Self-Contained Hootenanny” for $54,000. That’s one item that they can aptly call **The** Self-Contained Hootenanny. It’s not like anyone else is going to be dumb enough to make one. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/18 "2021-05-11T19:49:37Z")
They’re older and slightly more common than you think. > **[Orchestrion](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orchestrion)** > > Pages for logged out editors learn more > > Orchestrion is a generic name for a machine that plays music and is designed to sound like an orchestra or band. Orchestrions may be operated by means of a large pinned cylinder or by a music roll and less commonly book music. The sound is usually produced by pipes, though they will be voiced differently from those found in a pipe organ, as well as percussion instruments. Many orchestrions contain a piano as well. At the Musical Museum in Brentfor... I saw one once in a museum or something pretty darn close at least. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/19 "2021-05-11T19:51:59Z")
Ok, let me restate that. It’s not like anyone else thinks there’s a modern retail market for a $54,000 orchestrion. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2021, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857/20 "2021-05-11T19:53:47Z")
Fair enough. The Morris Museum has one in the [Murtogh D. Guinness Collection](https://morrismuseum.org/mechanical-musical-instruments-automata/). [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/DWUVsH8EBc8/maxresdefault.jpg "Poppers "REX" Orchestrion") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWUVsH8EBc8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hammacher-schlemmer-the-pretentious-catalogue-that-goes-in-the-wastebin/941857.md?page=2)